In my experience (because I joined way back before FFXIV launched, never bought the game to focus on rl, came back earlier this year, took another break to sort shit out, and am back again), what has worked for me is to, as others have said, reach out. People who are well established tend to err on the cautious side of things, and will wait for people they don't know to reach out to them. There's always a chance that people will disappear on you, especially if you're in the middle of a rp thing, and they need to see that you're going to commit before they're willing to commit to you. Yeah, that can make it tougher to get involved, but in my experience as long as you're friendly oocly, make polite overtures to people, and are willing to help push rp forward where needed (because if your character is going to be grumpy or hostile towards others, you need to have a backup plan to keep things moving should other characters take the 'not going to stick around for this' road) you shouldn't have any issues. And I say this as a person who plays a right bitch. 
