People find themselves in fortuitous situations for a host of reasons. Maybe they joined the community at a good time, maybe they met the right people/had the right resources, maybe they had friends they came with -- you really do have to take that into account before you say "I did X and everything worked out for me!" The point of entry each person has into the community is going to be a little bit different at different periods of time. There's a gulf of difference between asking to have a place at the table the minute you show up (AKA: hay i'm new please open your circle to me and accept me uncritically and be my bff) and asking to have a fair shot at earning that spot at all.
The advice being given here IS solid, fundamental advice, ultimately. There's nothing wrong with offering suggestions, especially because I've asked for it and have benefited from a few ideas I hadn't thought of. I hope that others who have had similar issues have caught a couple words of wisdom that they didn't have before, as well.
As an aside, I also want to pause and say thanks to everyone who has reached out to me in light of this thread. I've had some better experiences since I made the original post and I still plan on putting myself out there and trying.
The advice being given here IS solid, fundamental advice, ultimately. There's nothing wrong with offering suggestions, especially because I've asked for it and have benefited from a few ideas I hadn't thought of. I hope that others who have had similar issues have caught a couple words of wisdom that they didn't have before, as well.
As an aside, I also want to pause and say thanks to everyone who has reached out to me in light of this thread. I've had some better experiences since I made the original post and I still plan on putting myself out there and trying.
