(02-25-2015, 11:44 AM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:(02-25-2015, 11:10 AM)Khoure Wrote: Let me preface this rant by mentioning that I'd never actually follow through on these urges, and I know the thoughts I get are wrong and very unfair to my fellow human, so trust me, I'm not an asshole. But at the same time, I can't really control getting those urges in the first place, short of hightailing it out of there. I guess this is less "why humanity" and more "why brain why". It is still IRL tho, so on topic?
yes. YES. ALL OF IT SO MUCH. You have described a person I live with. But might I add. Oatmeal. Lip-smacking. And demon noodles (instant ramen). When this person eats, I usually immediately reach for anything that can make noise. (Usually computer headset or headphones). ...if I can't think of a good excuse for a song, I put on white noise. Sweet, blissful, white noise.
(02-25-2015, 11:46 AM)Kage Wrote: My mother works in the same semiconductor manufacturing place that I do. Occasionally I eat lunch with her.
... I keep trying to tell her in Mandarin (most people are Vietnamese here, next subsets are Mexicans or Filipino) to close her mouth when she's chewing or to not speak when she's got food in her mouth still. It's gross. And sometimes I'm sitting right in front of her and :c
That must suck so much, I can't imagine it. The worst is, if it were just gross and annoying, it would be one thing. But it's never just that. There's that completely out of character intense anger, the actual violent urges (I wasn't actually using hyperbole unfortunately, the dissonance between "I want to watch you cry with pain I inflicted" and "what in the holy eff is wrong with me" isn't fun). The stress of being unable to stop those feelings, unable to focus on anything else, and unable to not listen for the next sound. And the times where it's panic instead are also hell, like sometimes you're just flinching every time you hear it because the urge to react is so strong. My roommates friend last year liked to do the things I described earlier and now I'm wired to despise her voice at all times because there were so many memories of being subjected to that stress and being unable to escape because it was in my room. She came over to eat almost every day during exam season, and I just could not handle it, since my good headphones had broken and there was nothing to block the sound
RP scrub incoming