I have taken two characters through a large portion of this process, although neither of them followed a perfectly linear progression.
Iyrnahct
1) Denial: This was a very long stage for Iyrnahct, lasting for several months after the calamity. "Dani canna be gone, she's the best twelve's damned marauder I kin name. Na' she's only held up, be marchen back from Cartenue any day now."
2) Anger: This stage was triggered by the return of Dani's remaining effects, and manifested itself in 14 hour shifts at the forge, followed by angry drinking binges. "How could th'twelve be takin' her from m'too? M'byes deserve t'be knowin' their own mum!"
3)Bargaining: This followed closely on the heels of Iyrnahct's initial anger. "Th'whole world be upside down. Like as not, th'messanger was mistaken."
At this point the process was stalled by the realization that he could no longer recall his wife's name or face .... "Aye, me wife served in th'maelstrom.... her name was... ee'was..."
Of course this lead back to....
1) Denial: "I canna be fergettin her name! Was na'even three moons back.... s'only th'long work hours gettin' ta me."
2) Anger: "S'naw bloody fair! I be loosin' errythin I had o'her!"
4) Depression: The first stages lasted much larger the second time around before depression took over about a year post calamity. Unlike the other stages this one was marked by uncharacteristic silence and obsessive dedication to his work.
3) Bargaining: This succeeded and partially overlapped with the fourth stage. Many sleepless nights have been spent pouring over the two sketches of Dani that he possesses or reading her name aloud for hours. All of these efforts have failed to make the slightest difference, ten seconds after looking away he has forgotten her name and face again.
5) Acceptance: Iyrnahct arrived at this peaceful spot just over a year ago, with help from his two older children. He has put aside his last mementos of Dani and largely embraced his life again, although he still has the rare relapse into stage three and four.
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Daniwyda's journey begun far more recently and her grief remains very potent.
1) Denial: Her circumstances were so outlandish, the truth was particularly easy for Dani to deny. "It's understandable how some were forgotten. Can't remember a shred of those years m'self, but no one's goin' ter forget family. O'course they'll know me."
2) Anger: This stage was delayed for several days by a period of pure shock. Although she could no longer logically deny her situation, the actual comprehension was slow in coming. Shock gave way to half a day of violent rage, which  poured into the stones around Limsa Lominsa. After breaking several dozen boulders and exhausting herself, she returned to the city with a nearly level head and requested the most dangerous guild leve's available. Although the initial fury was short lived, she harbored a simmering anger for months. "Don't blather t'me guild master. Jus' find me a leve t'sink this ax inside."
3) Bargaining took several forms for Dani, but the first one coincided with her anger. "It be th'Garleans that are t'blame, and I intend t'make th'lot pay."Â
4) Depression: This stage began, when Dani re injured her leg en route to Northern Thanlan. After making her way back to her native Limsa Lominsa, she has become extremely quiet and withdrawn, rarely leaving the city and drinking more than she ought. This stage has been very subtle for her but she is far from actual acceptance. " 'Venturin'? Not I. Make m'livin' as a fisher these days."
 3) Bargaining: Dani will periodically revert to this stage, by contriving to 'accidentally' come across her husband or one of her sons. Their inability to recognize her invariably triggers several weeks of deeper depression.
I find it amusing to read over the timeline of this. Both Dani and Iyrnahct grieved the same loss, but Iyrnahct has had five years to process, what Dani has understood for less than a year.
Time warps
Iyrnahct
1) Denial: This was a very long stage for Iyrnahct, lasting for several months after the calamity. "Dani canna be gone, she's the best twelve's damned marauder I kin name. Na' she's only held up, be marchen back from Cartenue any day now."
2) Anger: This stage was triggered by the return of Dani's remaining effects, and manifested itself in 14 hour shifts at the forge, followed by angry drinking binges. "How could th'twelve be takin' her from m'too? M'byes deserve t'be knowin' their own mum!"
3)Bargaining: This followed closely on the heels of Iyrnahct's initial anger. "Th'whole world be upside down. Like as not, th'messanger was mistaken."
At this point the process was stalled by the realization that he could no longer recall his wife's name or face .... "Aye, me wife served in th'maelstrom.... her name was... ee'was..."
Of course this lead back to....
1) Denial: "I canna be fergettin her name! Was na'even three moons back.... s'only th'long work hours gettin' ta me."
2) Anger: "S'naw bloody fair! I be loosin' errythin I had o'her!"
4) Depression: The first stages lasted much larger the second time around before depression took over about a year post calamity. Unlike the other stages this one was marked by uncharacteristic silence and obsessive dedication to his work.
3) Bargaining: This succeeded and partially overlapped with the fourth stage. Many sleepless nights have been spent pouring over the two sketches of Dani that he possesses or reading her name aloud for hours. All of these efforts have failed to make the slightest difference, ten seconds after looking away he has forgotten her name and face again.
5) Acceptance: Iyrnahct arrived at this peaceful spot just over a year ago, with help from his two older children. He has put aside his last mementos of Dani and largely embraced his life again, although he still has the rare relapse into stage three and four.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Daniwyda's journey begun far more recently and her grief remains very potent.
1) Denial: Her circumstances were so outlandish, the truth was particularly easy for Dani to deny. "It's understandable how some were forgotten. Can't remember a shred of those years m'self, but no one's goin' ter forget family. O'course they'll know me."
2) Anger: This stage was delayed for several days by a period of pure shock. Although she could no longer logically deny her situation, the actual comprehension was slow in coming. Shock gave way to half a day of violent rage, which  poured into the stones around Limsa Lominsa. After breaking several dozen boulders and exhausting herself, she returned to the city with a nearly level head and requested the most dangerous guild leve's available. Although the initial fury was short lived, she harbored a simmering anger for months. "Don't blather t'me guild master. Jus' find me a leve t'sink this ax inside."
3) Bargaining took several forms for Dani, but the first one coincided with her anger. "It be th'Garleans that are t'blame, and I intend t'make th'lot pay."Â
4) Depression: This stage began, when Dani re injured her leg en route to Northern Thanlan. After making her way back to her native Limsa Lominsa, she has become extremely quiet and withdrawn, rarely leaving the city and drinking more than she ought. This stage has been very subtle for her but she is far from actual acceptance. " 'Venturin'? Not I. Make m'livin' as a fisher these days."
 3) Bargaining: Dani will periodically revert to this stage, by contriving to 'accidentally' come across her husband or one of her sons. Their inability to recognize her invariably triggers several weeks of deeper depression.
I find it amusing to read over the timeline of this. Both Dani and Iyrnahct grieved the same loss, but Iyrnahct has had five years to process, what Dani has understood for less than a year.
Time warps
