I agree that one can customize these forums to a larger degree, but it seems we lack the skill to do many of the things you've listed for that reason. The novelty of having top-grade forums/website is nice, but it comes down to how much can be done, how much can we actually use. If it's stopping you or other people who might be willing to help but do not know how - that's a problem. One solution is to move to a simpler forum/website, the other is to get someone who is fluent in website speak, to make the site work and look better.
I’m the bullies you hate, that you became.
