(March 13th, 2015)
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[Like past entries, this one is written with an unsteady and fatigued hand]
Not much has changed from the last entry. I never did talkto Lainse about Mimiru-- not really. I'ma little stuck in my confusion. He speaks so highly of me-- and I even got to see that finished piece from our date! It was beautiful-- and with more detail in additional wings to make me into an illustrated angel. It was very sweet. Again, I-- it is so hard to tell if this is some enamored feeling or if there is something genuine. When I can ask, I think I'll have some peace on it. This is so difficult.
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It seems the more I think about it, the harder it is to reach him. I-- still have his linkpearl, I turned everything else in. -- [blot] I'm not going to be with the Harbingers afterall-- for now! [blot] My handwriting is so bad, am I even going to be able to read this later?  [blot] The traveling has been taxing-- I don't understand. First it's the headaches, passing out if I'm not careful. I'm so glad that hasn't happened yet-- that would be so embarrassing.. [blot]  I'm not sure how I'll tell Lainse about this either-- leaving. He seemed so excited about me being there, that we may venture the world together through this company.  I wonder what he'll do-- if he'll be disappointed.
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[blot]
Not that I should care? [blot] I mean, I'd be sad if we couldn't see each other-- but-- I didn't think this would bother me? I'm getting sick from travel, why would anyone [blot] be disappointed.. I mean, I would imagine he knows by now.[blot] If news travels fast? Their company was rather large in numbers.. [blot] I do feel guilty that I'm holding Eiji back with that too-- I think he might have done some good to meet people there, get out of Ul'dah too. He doesn't seem to like it very much already. Oh! I found out that he actually has a friend in the Shroud? We mingled at the tavern together recently-- it was ... awkward! Not for us-- ..[blot] one of the members mistook Taj for a waitress and spoke so little of her when Taq was away-- well, not little per se but-- as if she was primitive? I didn't know what to say. I guess I don't know Taq well enough to defend, and her fiance Brannon said little of it! I'm sure he would know!
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I was hoping to-- but I didn't get to see Lainse that night either. He had that expedition-- he may be doing that right now as I write. I hope he's doing alright,anyway. Maybe I'll try a letter, I'd hate to disturb while he's working. Can't imagine how pleasant that is to have someone yammering in your ear while you're trying to take down some feral beast!Â
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I might have missed him now-- but I'm making a goal, anyway.If he still wants to talk with me, and see the world together-- I'm still going to make a goal to be able to defend myself-- or be more helpful in a way when the next opportunity comes! I'm leaving for Gridania soon, to learn theways of Conjury if someone is willing!
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[Like past entries, this one is written with an unsteady and fatigued hand]
Not much has changed from the last entry. I never did talkto Lainse about Mimiru-- not really. I'ma little stuck in my confusion. He speaks so highly of me-- and I even got to see that finished piece from our date! It was beautiful-- and with more detail in additional wings to make me into an illustrated angel. It was very sweet. Again, I-- it is so hard to tell if this is some enamored feeling or if there is something genuine. When I can ask, I think I'll have some peace on it. This is so difficult.
Â
It seems the more I think about it, the harder it is to reach him. I-- still have his linkpearl, I turned everything else in. -- [blot] I'm not going to be with the Harbingers afterall-- for now! [blot] My handwriting is so bad, am I even going to be able to read this later?  [blot] The traveling has been taxing-- I don't understand. First it's the headaches, passing out if I'm not careful. I'm so glad that hasn't happened yet-- that would be so embarrassing.. [blot]  I'm not sure how I'll tell Lainse about this either-- leaving. He seemed so excited about me being there, that we may venture the world together through this company.  I wonder what he'll do-- if he'll be disappointed.
Â
[blot]
Not that I should care? [blot] I mean, I'd be sad if we couldn't see each other-- but-- I didn't think this would bother me? I'm getting sick from travel, why would anyone [blot] be disappointed.. I mean, I would imagine he knows by now.[blot] If news travels fast? Their company was rather large in numbers.. [blot] I do feel guilty that I'm holding Eiji back with that too-- I think he might have done some good to meet people there, get out of Ul'dah too. He doesn't seem to like it very much already. Oh! I found out that he actually has a friend in the Shroud? We mingled at the tavern together recently-- it was ... awkward! Not for us-- ..[blot] one of the members mistook Taj for a waitress and spoke so little of her when Taq was away-- well, not little per se but-- as if she was primitive? I didn't know what to say. I guess I don't know Taq well enough to defend, and her fiance Brannon said little of it! I'm sure he would know!
Â
I was hoping to-- but I didn't get to see Lainse that night either. He had that expedition-- he may be doing that right now as I write. I hope he's doing alright,anyway. Maybe I'll try a letter, I'd hate to disturb while he's working. Can't imagine how pleasant that is to have someone yammering in your ear while you're trying to take down some feral beast!Â
Â
I might have missed him now-- but I'm making a goal, anyway.If he still wants to talk with me, and see the world together-- I'm still going to make a goal to be able to defend myself-- or be more helpful in a way when the next opportunity comes! I'm leaving for Gridania soon, to learn theways of Conjury if someone is willing!
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Nenia Reihnolh (WIP)
Seitsuda Hironiwa (WIP)
Eshima Hirabayashi
