I broke it off from the RPC and You thread because Osric was sad.
:V
Sophia's concerns and what Osric mentioned here are why I definitely am against the idea of actually assigning designated mentors. Assigning a role places too much of the burden of responsibility on the shoulders of others and availability/mental-state/RP priorities change all the time. It's also needlessly complicated and encourages unrealistic expectations.
I really think all we literally need is just for people to ask themselves:
1) Do I actually WANT to RP with this new person that just posted this "RP with me" thread? (AKA: Do I want to make a new friend? Does it seem like both of us would have fun? Does our RP align? )
2) Am I FREE to RP with this new person that just posted this "RP with me" thread? (AKA: Do I have freetime I want to spend with a new friend after all my real-life/in-game obligations? Am I not choked by outside projects that consume all my time?)
3) Are you in the right place right now to make a new RP friend? (Am I free of stress/sad-feels and am in a good mental state to meet with new shiny people?)
If the answer to all questions is "Yes" - awesome! All that's really needed now is that when you say "I'd be happy to RP with you." in someone's thread - try to make the effort to also hit them up with a PM with your availability so you guys can sync up and RP instead of just simply saying "I'd be happy to RP with you if you run into me in game!" and leaving it at that.
If the answer to one of the questions is "No"- that's still OK! This doesn't make you or anyone else a bad person or a person who is not supportive of welcoming new RPers or a cliquish elitist dork. It just means you can't do it right now or you're not in a good place for making new friends, etc, etc. I most definitely can't answer yes to all the questions right now because I have painfully little freetime, the job hunt is murder, and when I do log in, I'm usually exhausted. If someone wants to tell me that I'm a horrible person for spending what little free time I have doing what I need to unwind, then they're poops.
But when I DO actually make an effort to post in a thread "Hey, I'd be happy to RP with you" - I also make it a point now to send a PM to that person and chat about availability (or at least tell them I'm interested but will not really be free until [x]-date in my current case to show I'm interested, but busy as hell and will poke them again later.)
Then when I actually meet with someone - I don't treat it like a mentorship. I just treat it like just regular old RP. Anyone who wants me to hold their hand and spoon-feed them RP is going to be sorely disappointed, but anyone who just wants a fun casual RP interaction with my character and a possible IC friendship/rivalry/etc will hopefully jive with me just fine.
:V
(03-26-2015, 06:30 PM)Melkire Wrote:(03-26-2015, 06:22 PM)Apl_Juice Wrote:(03-26-2015, 06:14 PM)Domri Blackblade Wrote:Perhaps I'm just worried that it sets a bad or false precedent on what to expect. It should go without saying that everyone ought to make an effort to be more inclusive and receptive, especially when RP'ing in public.(03-26-2015, 06:02 PM)Apl_Juice Wrote: snip
I guess I don't feel like it has to be some sort of IC hook up alone where we serve up the RP to someone, but more like a friendly resource they can feel comfortable to approach and talk to. I don't know, I guess to me one friend goes a long way in at least getting the foot in the door. Perhaps, I am a bit idealist!
I agree with you.
I also recognize that many of us are so swamped for time that we can't be there for the new people. I can't speak for anyone else, but between a 40 hour work week, a three-hour commute every day to-and-from, any time I sink into PvE, time spent on FC RP, time spent on event RP, time randomly spent roaming Thanalan/insert-region-here, and the regular and not-so-regular demands of my own life, I can't be as inclusive as someone who has the time to dedicate and say, "I can be there to work with new people."
We all have differing lifestyles that affect how inclusive and receptive we can be. If we're RPing in public, yes, we should make an effort to be inclusive and receptive. But just because the midlander in the sipahi turban and Immortal Flames jerkin is just standing around watching the Quicksand doesn't mean he isn't juggling two different conversations under his breath over two different linkpearls while scanning the crowd for a potential informant who he needs to somehow slip some coin so he can get some dirt on the latest scum to find their way into this city, and hey, guess what, if that's what he's doing, he's not going to have time to sit down and discuss chocobo breeding with the latest Miqo'te who just randomly walked up to him to try and be friendly. This has very little to do with OoC inclusiveness/receptiveness and everything to do with the story of that character at that moment.
But you know what? That Wildwood Elezen lass over that-a-way, she's DEFINITELY down for that sort of thing, and she's got nothing else on her plate at the moment, and boy oh boy did you know that if you invest in the proper feed....
EDIT:
There's also the trouble with characters who are, for story purposes, more or less region-locked.
EDIT 2:
Please resume original discussion(s). ; ;
Sophia's concerns and what Osric mentioned here are why I definitely am against the idea of actually assigning designated mentors. Assigning a role places too much of the burden of responsibility on the shoulders of others and availability/mental-state/RP priorities change all the time. It's also needlessly complicated and encourages unrealistic expectations.
I really think all we literally need is just for people to ask themselves:
1) Do I actually WANT to RP with this new person that just posted this "RP with me" thread? (AKA: Do I want to make a new friend? Does it seem like both of us would have fun? Does our RP align? )
2) Am I FREE to RP with this new person that just posted this "RP with me" thread? (AKA: Do I have freetime I want to spend with a new friend after all my real-life/in-game obligations? Am I not choked by outside projects that consume all my time?)
3) Are you in the right place right now to make a new RP friend? (Am I free of stress/sad-feels and am in a good mental state to meet with new shiny people?)
If the answer to all questions is "Yes" - awesome! All that's really needed now is that when you say "I'd be happy to RP with you." in someone's thread - try to make the effort to also hit them up with a PM with your availability so you guys can sync up and RP instead of just simply saying "I'd be happy to RP with you if you run into me in game!" and leaving it at that.
If the answer to one of the questions is "No"- that's still OK! This doesn't make you or anyone else a bad person or a person who is not supportive of welcoming new RPers or a cliquish elitist dork. It just means you can't do it right now or you're not in a good place for making new friends, etc, etc. I most definitely can't answer yes to all the questions right now because I have painfully little freetime, the job hunt is murder, and when I do log in, I'm usually exhausted. If someone wants to tell me that I'm a horrible person for spending what little free time I have doing what I need to unwind, then they're poops.
But when I DO actually make an effort to post in a thread "Hey, I'd be happy to RP with you" - I also make it a point now to send a PM to that person and chat about availability (or at least tell them I'm interested but will not really be free until [x]-date in my current case to show I'm interested, but busy as hell and will poke them again later.)
Then when I actually meet with someone - I don't treat it like a mentorship. I just treat it like just regular old RP. Anyone who wants me to hold their hand and spoon-feed them RP is going to be sorely disappointed, but anyone who just wants a fun casual RP interaction with my character and a possible IC friendship/rivalry/etc will hopefully jive with me just fine.
