Wow, this thread blew up while I was asleep.
Anyhow, I want to speak on something I see as a potential recurring theme in this thread. [WARNING MASSIVE BLOCK OF TEXT AHEAD. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THINGS CONCISELY.]
There seems to be a lot of fear about the community as a whole being expected or obligated to do all the work in bringing new people in. I can definitely understand this fear because it definitely does happen. In every MMO RP community I have ever been in there’s always this small faction of RPers (not even ‘new’ RPers. Just RPers in general) who come in with a bizaare sense of entitlement where if they make even the smallest amount of effort, they feel they should be rewarded by a rainfall of RP where people fall over themselves to interact with them.
I will never forget a time I went to the Quicksand as Tiergan 100% determined to get random RP and I was faced with a person just like this. I had marched Tiergan to the nearest table, got him absolutely hammered and had him offer to buy everyone in the Quicksand a free round of drinks (very rare for his personality, but I wanted to provide an 'in' for anyone wanting to RP with him). Soon I had a pretty sizable cluster of folks all drinking booze with Tiergan and talking about stuff. A couple of folks were people who knew Tiergan already and were wondering why he was hammered. The rest were brand new people partaking in Tiergan’s generosity.
It was insanely hard to follow a conversation of 6+ people while making sure I didn't miss what anyone was saying. At some point, I got a slightly passive-aggressive tell from another roleplayer about how unhappy they were at ignored by the group. I stopped, scrolled up, and found one single emote of that person doing something vague by the table. I immediately sent her an apology and invited her to come back into the Quicksand (she’d left at that point) for a second go as now I would be able to watch out for her.
She accepted, RP walked into the Quicksand, then immediately RP walked out the other door of the Quicksand. This action literally took the span of maybe 2 or 3 seconds. I had no time to react. She then sent me an angry tell about how I didn’t draw her into the RP like I said I would. I sent her a reply explaining that she hadn’t given me enough time to type anything or for Tiergan to notice her. She then had her character re-enter the Quicksand, then stand at the bar on the OPPOSITE side of the tavern, and did nothing. No emotes, no hook. She gave me nothing and was waiting for me to do all the work.
I had to break character, have Tiergan walk all the way across the bar to her, and have him drunkenly invite her over to the table to drink some of the free booze he was handing out. Only for her character to explain that she doesn’t. drink. alcohol. I tried to come up with more excuses for why drunk Tiergan would bring some total stranger he’d never met across to the table, and each time I met some form of resistance before I gave up and had him stagger back to the table. She sent me more unhappy tells, but at that point, I was miffed that I broke my own immersion trying to go out of my way to bring her in and ignored her.
This is not the only time I’ve encountered something like this in an MMO, and I’m sure plenty of others have had the same experience which is why they’re extremely wary when things like mentor-systems and welcoming committees get brought up. People like the person I mentioned in my story are generally the ones who abuse the kindness of people trying to work to welcome new folks in and sour the vibe for everyone.
I can't speak to the idea of whether or not new folks are actively being ignored or alienated by folks. (I like to think it's accidental and there are more factors at play). But I know it can definitely be a challenge breaking into RP if you're not innately outgoing as a person. Even more so if you are shy, have no FC, and are playing a shy/antisocial character. That was basically where I was at when I first started playing FFXIV, and I almost deleted Tiergan entirely to roll up a new super outgoing character because I had such a difficult time overcoming my own personal obstacles finding RP. It was extremely difficult and I was pretty bummed out that I couldn’t seem to find my groove.
While I think I would have sorted out things eventually, I do feel like the process was streamlined for me by a couple of very kind folks who offered advice like creating a wiki profile, where some cool events were going down, what FCs I could try out, etc. Eventually, they also invited me into certain plots that made sense for both of our characters. They didn’t go out of their way to find a place for me in their stories - they only did it if it was realistic and natural for their character to want me there and for Tiergan to want to be there. If they’d done otherwise, it would have felt pretty awkward and forced.
I think this is basically how things should go from a community-newbie-person standpoint. Established community members can be super welcoming, offer advice (like we have here in this thread!), and meet folks halfway into the community -- BUT they should not be expected to arrange RP for people. They shouldn't be doing anything or even feel forced to meet with anyone they feel wouldn't make sense in context with their own RP. A person who primarily does Yellow Adders combat RP in Gridania shouldn't have to twist and wrap their story into funny shapes just to find some unrealistic, obscure way to include a new person who does 100% of their RP as a Limsan aldgoat herder.
This is why I kept going on and on about "Post in Connection Threads if you actually genuinely want to RP with that person. Post your availability/pick a day to meet up." -- because honestly? Finding a new person whose RP seems like they would work with yours and then providing them the means to meet up with you in game for RP to see if the two of you mesh well is literally the most work an already-established member of the community should really be expected to do if they have the freetime and are in the right place mentally for it. (i.e: not getting buggered by real life) They shouldn't be RPing with someone even if they're not really enjoying it or it isn't realistic in terms of their character. By posting in a 'Connection" thread and providing availability/meet-up day, they are opening the door and allowing someone to jam their foot in. Anything more than that is being super generous.
Anyhow, I want to speak on something I see as a potential recurring theme in this thread. [WARNING MASSIVE BLOCK OF TEXT AHEAD. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THINGS CONCISELY.]
There seems to be a lot of fear about the community as a whole being expected or obligated to do all the work in bringing new people in. I can definitely understand this fear because it definitely does happen. In every MMO RP community I have ever been in there’s always this small faction of RPers (not even ‘new’ RPers. Just RPers in general) who come in with a bizaare sense of entitlement where if they make even the smallest amount of effort, they feel they should be rewarded by a rainfall of RP where people fall over themselves to interact with them.
I will never forget a time I went to the Quicksand as Tiergan 100% determined to get random RP and I was faced with a person just like this. I had marched Tiergan to the nearest table, got him absolutely hammered and had him offer to buy everyone in the Quicksand a free round of drinks (very rare for his personality, but I wanted to provide an 'in' for anyone wanting to RP with him). Soon I had a pretty sizable cluster of folks all drinking booze with Tiergan and talking about stuff. A couple of folks were people who knew Tiergan already and were wondering why he was hammered. The rest were brand new people partaking in Tiergan’s generosity.
It was insanely hard to follow a conversation of 6+ people while making sure I didn't miss what anyone was saying. At some point, I got a slightly passive-aggressive tell from another roleplayer about how unhappy they were at ignored by the group. I stopped, scrolled up, and found one single emote of that person doing something vague by the table. I immediately sent her an apology and invited her to come back into the Quicksand (she’d left at that point) for a second go as now I would be able to watch out for her.
She accepted, RP walked into the Quicksand, then immediately RP walked out the other door of the Quicksand. This action literally took the span of maybe 2 or 3 seconds. I had no time to react. She then sent me an angry tell about how I didn’t draw her into the RP like I said I would. I sent her a reply explaining that she hadn’t given me enough time to type anything or for Tiergan to notice her. She then had her character re-enter the Quicksand, then stand at the bar on the OPPOSITE side of the tavern, and did nothing. No emotes, no hook. She gave me nothing and was waiting for me to do all the work.
I had to break character, have Tiergan walk all the way across the bar to her, and have him drunkenly invite her over to the table to drink some of the free booze he was handing out. Only for her character to explain that she doesn’t. drink. alcohol. I tried to come up with more excuses for why drunk Tiergan would bring some total stranger he’d never met across to the table, and each time I met some form of resistance before I gave up and had him stagger back to the table. She sent me more unhappy tells, but at that point, I was miffed that I broke my own immersion trying to go out of my way to bring her in and ignored her.
This is not the only time I’ve encountered something like this in an MMO, and I’m sure plenty of others have had the same experience which is why they’re extremely wary when things like mentor-systems and welcoming committees get brought up. People like the person I mentioned in my story are generally the ones who abuse the kindness of people trying to work to welcome new folks in and sour the vibe for everyone.
I can't speak to the idea of whether or not new folks are actively being ignored or alienated by folks. (I like to think it's accidental and there are more factors at play). But I know it can definitely be a challenge breaking into RP if you're not innately outgoing as a person. Even more so if you are shy, have no FC, and are playing a shy/antisocial character. That was basically where I was at when I first started playing FFXIV, and I almost deleted Tiergan entirely to roll up a new super outgoing character because I had such a difficult time overcoming my own personal obstacles finding RP. It was extremely difficult and I was pretty bummed out that I couldn’t seem to find my groove.
While I think I would have sorted out things eventually, I do feel like the process was streamlined for me by a couple of very kind folks who offered advice like creating a wiki profile, where some cool events were going down, what FCs I could try out, etc. Eventually, they also invited me into certain plots that made sense for both of our characters. They didn’t go out of their way to find a place for me in their stories - they only did it if it was realistic and natural for their character to want me there and for Tiergan to want to be there. If they’d done otherwise, it would have felt pretty awkward and forced.
I think this is basically how things should go from a community-newbie-person standpoint. Established community members can be super welcoming, offer advice (like we have here in this thread!), and meet folks halfway into the community -- BUT they should not be expected to arrange RP for people. They shouldn't be doing anything or even feel forced to meet with anyone they feel wouldn't make sense in context with their own RP. A person who primarily does Yellow Adders combat RP in Gridania shouldn't have to twist and wrap their story into funny shapes just to find some unrealistic, obscure way to include a new person who does 100% of their RP as a Limsan aldgoat herder.
This is why I kept going on and on about "Post in Connection Threads if you actually genuinely want to RP with that person. Post your availability/pick a day to meet up." -- because honestly? Finding a new person whose RP seems like they would work with yours and then providing them the means to meet up with you in game for RP to see if the two of you mesh well is literally the most work an already-established member of the community should really be expected to do if they have the freetime and are in the right place mentally for it. (i.e: not getting buggered by real life) They shouldn't be RPing with someone even if they're not really enjoying it or it isn't realistic in terms of their character. By posting in a 'Connection" thread and providing availability/meet-up day, they are opening the door and allowing someone to jam their foot in. Anything more than that is being super generous.
