(03-28-2015, 06:34 AM)ArmachiA Wrote: Saying "The community could stand to be a little more open." However isn't so bad.
Newbies should make an effort, absolutely. BUT this thread is about Established people helping non-established ones and you know saying "What can we do to be more open and make things easier?" iiisss kind of the point of this thread? I mean the thread does start with "How to help..." after all.
There's been some pretty good ideas around here beyond "Get out there and do it." which is absolutely 100% true advice but also something that everyone seems to know and becomes incredibly annoying to hear when you've felt you tried and it hasn't worked.
One of the issues I'm struggling with helping at all is "shy" rpers, I'm not sure there's much advice beyond "Change your entire personality" and and that's frustrating for ME. How can I help someone who's shy that isn't essentially having to hand hold them into RP or telling them to change their personality so they aren't shy anymore?
Well, I came here and I primarily answered to this how to question because I thought it was important to not break through the topic without giving something people can actually do and try. Saying that the community should be more open is a thing and maybe a part of those who wrote here heard your complaints, but that topic isn't all the community, so while it might change 2 or 3 people attitude, I believe that most of those who actually came there to write and to help are also those who are already willing to include new RPer to their circle.
Now..
I'm a shy RPer. Really shy. And as bonus I'm not native english and the list of people who did hurt me with that fact along those pasts 10 years I played MMO is colossal. So I have to overcome my shyness, my fear to be judged for my english, my fear to see myself being judged because my character is a male and I'm myself a girl RPing her first male, etc. Lets say that as some other people, I have to overcome a lot of stuff that might just disrupt any attempt of RP on my side.
Also, if you read in my profile on the game, you will not read a "walk-up RP welcome" because I'm not always open for random RP and so I don't want to brush anybody who would come to me while I'm not in the mood for a reason or another (though I don't think it ever happened).
Now why do I have some connections and how do I manage to get some more : I meet the people OOC and if that click I shyly offer them to find a way to RP together (or they do, because they know I'm shy I suppose). I'm a part of some LS, I try to be at least a little active on the forum and on tumblr where I post some RP stuff from time to time. The only way I found to overcome my shyness and to make sure that the people won't become judgemental over my english is to actually know them and to make sure they know about how this english stuff is a hurtful topic for me.
And I create some occasions.
While I'm shy, I try as much as I can to include the people I would like to meet in the stories of my character when it's relevant and might lead our character to grow closer. But I always know those people OOC or - if they walk-up to me, which happen - will try to know them at some point. That's the only way I managed to get some more connections and it fits to my personality. I don't force myself to go to the QS (not native english + wall of text = panic), I go to some events and when I RP there it's mostly in party (or at least I invite the people I RP with in party so we can copy / paste there and go through the wall of text), to sum up, I try to follow my own pace and if I'm frustrated I take it on me and my own shyness.
Of course, the way I'm doing is a really slow process. But someone shy probably don't want to meet 15 persons during the week to RP with them, so maybe the best advice I can give to those is to have a character who are themselves more confident and to prepare some plots / situations that will lead you to reach out in a way or another because your character will need someone else help. Then to water this relationship the best way you can.
Also, as we are at it, this is how I help other shy RPer to meet some people they starve to meet : I drag them with me in a way or another and make them meeting that person, most of time OOC or I pm that person for them and make it happen. Helping 2 people to meet and communicate is the only thing you can do when they are just too shy to do it themselves, the rest, they have to do it, you cannot be responsible of someone else shyness if they don't take the hand you are reaching to them.
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