15th APRIL 2012
Nobody's at HQ. Again. Everyone's always busy. So when I get home from work, I have nothing to do. If not for the fact that Miyuki spends most of her time there, i would have moved away by now. A different place to sleep, although I would still visit Corvus Cinis.
It's just... there's little there for me anymore. And even when people are in, they're distracted, and then Kass and Endri go off together, and Aly goes sometimes, too. If I lived in Gridania, it would be so much easier to get to work and then back home again, and if I wasn't part of Corvus Cinis, I would be able to concentrate on my more important jobs.
But leaving would be disloyal. I'm not disloyal. I'll just keep coming as long as they want me around.
I'm angry at Endri right now. He got Aly sad, and maybe Kass a little bit, too. But then I've been feeling a bit upset about Endri for the past few days, anyway. All he ever seems to do at HQ anymore is take Kass to the bedroom, even if we're in the middle of a conversation, or she's the only person keeping me comfortable. I think sometimes he is too distracted by Kass to realise what other people want or need.
Riku sighs and glances up at the ceiling.
I don't know why, but it feels like something's missing... something has disappeared from my mind. I can't explain it. And I think the others might be hiding things from me as well. Maybe I'm feeling paranoid, I don't know. Or maybe it's true...
Oh yeah, Kass put some jobs on the notice board recently, didn't she? They all seem to be about finding things. And I'm not very good at that. Besides, I wouldn't know when and where to start. I mean, I want to help, I really do, but... I just don't think I'd do good enough. And nobody else seems to have signed their name up, either... and few people are ever around... sometimes I feel that... that Corvus Cinis is slowly falling apart. I hope it doesn't, I really do, but... we just don't DO anything, really...
Riku puts his hand on the shaft of his harpoon, and grips the weapon, slowly lifting it up and getting to his feet.
I guess I'll go find something to do. I don't know what, but... it's got to be better than sitting around in an empty building. I wonder what the others are doing now... 'training'? From my experience, Corvus Cinis training involves just standing around one area and fighting monsters to their extinction. It's cruel. It's repetative, and it might strengthen the body, but it certainly doesn't teach you how to fight. Proper training should have a point to it. It should help people if it's going to be that kind of fighting. Killing monsters to save others, not just for no reason. Alright, the travelling of finding jobs like that takes longer than exterminating Antling nests, or fighting hordes of raptors... but it's surely a better way to fight.
I just hope... I just hope they're not training like that. Like when Endri took us to Coerthus to wipe out a clan of Ixali... it's no wonder the beastmen hate other folk... the way we treat them... we should be trying to unify the races to fight the Empire, not causing new wars to weaken Eorzea. But at the moment,t his is all I've seen from the continent, and I have no idea why I'm fighting to protect people like that... but my friends are here, and I want to keep them safe... I have to fight.... I have to protect them. That's why I joined the Adders.
Nobody's at HQ. Again. Everyone's always busy. So when I get home from work, I have nothing to do. If not for the fact that Miyuki spends most of her time there, i would have moved away by now. A different place to sleep, although I would still visit Corvus Cinis.
It's just... there's little there for me anymore. And even when people are in, they're distracted, and then Kass and Endri go off together, and Aly goes sometimes, too. If I lived in Gridania, it would be so much easier to get to work and then back home again, and if I wasn't part of Corvus Cinis, I would be able to concentrate on my more important jobs.
But leaving would be disloyal. I'm not disloyal. I'll just keep coming as long as they want me around.
I'm angry at Endri right now. He got Aly sad, and maybe Kass a little bit, too. But then I've been feeling a bit upset about Endri for the past few days, anyway. All he ever seems to do at HQ anymore is take Kass to the bedroom, even if we're in the middle of a conversation, or she's the only person keeping me comfortable. I think sometimes he is too distracted by Kass to realise what other people want or need.
Riku sighs and glances up at the ceiling.
I don't know why, but it feels like something's missing... something has disappeared from my mind. I can't explain it. And I think the others might be hiding things from me as well. Maybe I'm feeling paranoid, I don't know. Or maybe it's true...
Oh yeah, Kass put some jobs on the notice board recently, didn't she? They all seem to be about finding things. And I'm not very good at that. Besides, I wouldn't know when and where to start. I mean, I want to help, I really do, but... I just don't think I'd do good enough. And nobody else seems to have signed their name up, either... and few people are ever around... sometimes I feel that... that Corvus Cinis is slowly falling apart. I hope it doesn't, I really do, but... we just don't DO anything, really...
Riku puts his hand on the shaft of his harpoon, and grips the weapon, slowly lifting it up and getting to his feet.
I guess I'll go find something to do. I don't know what, but... it's got to be better than sitting around in an empty building. I wonder what the others are doing now... 'training'? From my experience, Corvus Cinis training involves just standing around one area and fighting monsters to their extinction. It's cruel. It's repetative, and it might strengthen the body, but it certainly doesn't teach you how to fight. Proper training should have a point to it. It should help people if it's going to be that kind of fighting. Killing monsters to save others, not just for no reason. Alright, the travelling of finding jobs like that takes longer than exterminating Antling nests, or fighting hordes of raptors... but it's surely a better way to fight.
I just hope... I just hope they're not training like that. Like when Endri took us to Coerthus to wipe out a clan of Ixali... it's no wonder the beastmen hate other folk... the way we treat them... we should be trying to unify the races to fight the Empire, not causing new wars to weaken Eorzea. But at the moment,t his is all I've seen from the continent, and I have no idea why I'm fighting to protect people like that... but my friends are here, and I want to keep them safe... I have to fight.... I have to protect them. That's why I joined the Adders.
![[Image: RSig2015.png]](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/51152173/RSig2015.png)
