Okay, to start:
I understand the annoyance with being seen as popular. While I'm not here on the RPC, I am seem by some people in my guild and the outside guilds we rp with as the "Center" of it. I've had people state behind my back they were jealous and HATED me simply because I was popular and talkative. I've had some state they were going to take my position as "Center" away from me because I was undeserving. To be frank, I was - and still am - uncomfortable with the label. About a year ago I even pulled my character out of rp for two months because I didn't like the insinuation, but it persisted and still persists regardless of what I do. I am extremely talkative, I like to help people accomplish things in FFXIV and tend to try to rally people together, and the fact that demonized me somehow never sat well with me. It still doesn't.
BUT
I don't think stating someone is popular automatically demonizes them. The idea of being labeled as "Popular" and it being taken as an insult it really strange to me. It reminds me a lot of when I ended up meeting a few rich people in my life, if you pointed out they were rich - they actually got insulted. Don't point it out, don't talk about the fact they have money. Just saying it demonized the fact they were rich in their eyes - even though it was just true. It was just a thing that was. People with status are uncomfortable admitting that status, sure, but it doesn't make it less true (Also most people who have money will immediately argue that they in fact don't have money and/or use the argument of "I worked hard for this!" which rings strikingly familiar).
I don't think there is anything wrong with the label. Let me repeat that: There is nothing wrong with being labeled popular. Nothing. Popular people are going to exist in ANY community. Youtube? Pewdiepie. Imgur? Kylecorn. Something Awful? Lowtax. Little Old Jplop forums I've mentioned before? Starra.
It happens. It's not exclusive to FFXIV RP. Communities form and faces stand out in the crowd from them. This is not bad. If you get labeled as a popular - own it. The community has deemed you one, fighting against it isn't going to change anything. But, also understand what it means.
On the "Popular" side:
I think if someone comes in and says "I'm having trouble finding RP, here's what I've tried." and someone they know has no trouble with it NOW comes in and says, "Just try harder." - even with it being good advice - can be demoralizing. In their mind it's like: They are trying harder! How dare someone who has no trouble finding rp tell them they aren't trying hard.
Is this fair? Not really, but that is what's going to happen. They are going to get frustrated at you for holding your 100 dollar bills in your hand while you proclaim they just need to work harder to pay their bills. It's going to be frustrating. For both sides. To them you aren't giving meaningful advice, to you, you're giving advice that you tried - working hard. In their mind, they probably are working hard and your making a snap judgement about their work ethic. Popular people, as deemed by the community, are speaking from a place that other people strive to be at. They are looking AT YOU and seeing where YOU ARE as they're end goal. Because of that, you are perceived differently.
The best thing I got here is just to be understanding of that privilege. There are so many people so want to be in your shoes. Being understanding of that - that you are in a place others strive to be - can go a long way.
To the "Unpopulars":
Look, same thing as above: Snap Judgements are bad. Don't make them. If you are running around saying all popular people do is rp with the other popular people and you can't seem to squeeze into that because they all wear pink on Wednesdays, you're doing EXACTLY what you hate them doing: Making judgements about the state of someone's RP ethic.
The fact of the matter is, you don't know who RPs with whom unless you ask them directly. And, this is very important, while they may be popular on this forum, this forum is NOT the game. Things work a little different on the game. For example: I don't think I've ran into like 95% of the RPC. Ever. Most of the names I know and like I've never seen in game since launch. Most of the people I'd like to rp with on this forum I have NEVER caught online.
Do I assume that when I'm offline they are rping with each other and not inviting me to the barbie party? Nah. Shockingly, schedules vary wildly around here and there's a BETTER chance they AREN'T rping with each other then that they ARE. However, if your kind of insecure about it (Which is okay, don't think it's not okay to find people intimidating. It's natural to do so, but also try to take a step back from that emotion and realize while - yes some are gonna be dicks - most are going to be pleasant - there is a reason why they are popular and it's probably not because they are asshats) you can ask people what LS's they are in. Linkshells are a good way to gauge people's RP circles, or at the very least wannabe RP circles, and you can ask to see if their LS is open to the public. An easy, noninvasive way to try to get in with a group of your choosing.
Do I believe some people are going to be dicks about their so-called status? Yes. And if this has happened to you, there are avenues you can go (Tumblr) to tell your story. Do I believe this is always happening? No. And you shouldn't either.
Now that I've said all this, I'm pretty sure everyone is just going to see this as me demonizing popular people, but really I can see both sides. I can see flaws in both sides' argument.
I understand the annoyance with being seen as popular. While I'm not here on the RPC, I am seem by some people in my guild and the outside guilds we rp with as the "Center" of it. I've had people state behind my back they were jealous and HATED me simply because I was popular and talkative. I've had some state they were going to take my position as "Center" away from me because I was undeserving. To be frank, I was - and still am - uncomfortable with the label. About a year ago I even pulled my character out of rp for two months because I didn't like the insinuation, but it persisted and still persists regardless of what I do. I am extremely talkative, I like to help people accomplish things in FFXIV and tend to try to rally people together, and the fact that demonized me somehow never sat well with me. It still doesn't.
BUT
I don't think stating someone is popular automatically demonizes them. The idea of being labeled as "Popular" and it being taken as an insult it really strange to me. It reminds me a lot of when I ended up meeting a few rich people in my life, if you pointed out they were rich - they actually got insulted. Don't point it out, don't talk about the fact they have money. Just saying it demonized the fact they were rich in their eyes - even though it was just true. It was just a thing that was. People with status are uncomfortable admitting that status, sure, but it doesn't make it less true (Also most people who have money will immediately argue that they in fact don't have money and/or use the argument of "I worked hard for this!" which rings strikingly familiar).
I don't think there is anything wrong with the label. Let me repeat that: There is nothing wrong with being labeled popular. Nothing. Popular people are going to exist in ANY community. Youtube? Pewdiepie. Imgur? Kylecorn. Something Awful? Lowtax. Little Old Jplop forums I've mentioned before? Starra.
It happens. It's not exclusive to FFXIV RP. Communities form and faces stand out in the crowd from them. This is not bad. If you get labeled as a popular - own it. The community has deemed you one, fighting against it isn't going to change anything. But, also understand what it means.
On the "Popular" side:
I think if someone comes in and says "I'm having trouble finding RP, here's what I've tried." and someone they know has no trouble with it NOW comes in and says, "Just try harder." - even with it being good advice - can be demoralizing. In their mind it's like: They are trying harder! How dare someone who has no trouble finding rp tell them they aren't trying hard.
Is this fair? Not really, but that is what's going to happen. They are going to get frustrated at you for holding your 100 dollar bills in your hand while you proclaim they just need to work harder to pay their bills. It's going to be frustrating. For both sides. To them you aren't giving meaningful advice, to you, you're giving advice that you tried - working hard. In their mind, they probably are working hard and your making a snap judgement about their work ethic. Popular people, as deemed by the community, are speaking from a place that other people strive to be at. They are looking AT YOU and seeing where YOU ARE as they're end goal. Because of that, you are perceived differently.
The best thing I got here is just to be understanding of that privilege. There are so many people so want to be in your shoes. Being understanding of that - that you are in a place others strive to be - can go a long way.
To the "Unpopulars":
Look, same thing as above: Snap Judgements are bad. Don't make them. If you are running around saying all popular people do is rp with the other popular people and you can't seem to squeeze into that because they all wear pink on Wednesdays, you're doing EXACTLY what you hate them doing: Making judgements about the state of someone's RP ethic.
The fact of the matter is, you don't know who RPs with whom unless you ask them directly. And, this is very important, while they may be popular on this forum, this forum is NOT the game. Things work a little different on the game. For example: I don't think I've ran into like 95% of the RPC. Ever. Most of the names I know and like I've never seen in game since launch. Most of the people I'd like to rp with on this forum I have NEVER caught online.
Do I assume that when I'm offline they are rping with each other and not inviting me to the barbie party? Nah. Shockingly, schedules vary wildly around here and there's a BETTER chance they AREN'T rping with each other then that they ARE. However, if your kind of insecure about it (Which is okay, don't think it's not okay to find people intimidating. It's natural to do so, but also try to take a step back from that emotion and realize while - yes some are gonna be dicks - most are going to be pleasant - there is a reason why they are popular and it's probably not because they are asshats) you can ask people what LS's they are in. Linkshells are a good way to gauge people's RP circles, or at the very least wannabe RP circles, and you can ask to see if their LS is open to the public. An easy, noninvasive way to try to get in with a group of your choosing.
Do I believe some people are going to be dicks about their so-called status? Yes. And if this has happened to you, there are avenues you can go (Tumblr) to tell your story. Do I believe this is always happening? No. And you shouldn't either.
Now that I've said all this, I'm pretty sure everyone is just going to see this as me demonizing popular people, but really I can see both sides. I can see flaws in both sides' argument.
![[Image: tumblr_n92fndN0EH1rujdn8o1_500.gif]](https://33.media.tumblr.com/449e130ac31106ec8aeda3d0f121d76b/tumblr_n92fndN0EH1rujdn8o1_500.gif)
