I'm sorry to hear you've had so much trouble. Especially with shyness working against you too; failing something reinforces the shyness which reinforces how difficult it is. It's a horrible cycle which I understand well.
The server is clique based - to be honest I doubt there's any escaping that in any MMO. Free Companies are a type of clique in themselves except often, as ArmachiA has shown, many are welcoming. I understand you don't want to plan roleplay, but joining a Free Company or LS might still help because at least it would give you some regular contacts that you can initiate regular, random, roleplay with. Which will ideally build into more substantial roleplay for yourself and your character.
You don't deserve to get any hate for this post, you've simply said the problems you're experiencing. I hope you come back and answer some of the questions people have asked, so we can approach the problem proactively.
The server is clique based - to be honest I doubt there's any escaping that in any MMO. Free Companies are a type of clique in themselves except often, as ArmachiA has shown, many are welcoming. I understand you don't want to plan roleplay, but joining a Free Company or LS might still help because at least it would give you some regular contacts that you can initiate regular, random, roleplay with. Which will ideally build into more substantial roleplay for yourself and your character.
You don't deserve to get any hate for this post, you've simply said the problems you're experiencing. I hope you come back and answer some of the questions people have asked, so we can approach the problem proactively.
