My score 9 was nine on the http://www.springhole.net/writing/marysue.htm
Generally based on reading all your post however OTL It still is Mary Sueish.
I'll start over with him but first!
I have seen ic, ooc, and also in game with npcs Cross species relationships. Now for a Limsa pirate I'm unsure the traveling ability of one if a ship could even reach the eastern continent *aside from the Doma's fleeing for their lives*. It is confirmed Xaela travel and are a aggressive race. In the actual wiki I made Zach's mother a Blacksmith and his father a Scholarly rouge. (Not the job just smart enough to work as an informant.) As for the naming conventions I used  a goto name until i know more about Au ru concentions. I'll either keep it out of laziness or use a name change.
Becoming A Moogle Priest (Good Times) and helping Sell the point the WoL will work for the twelveswood.
BoC typed up in the wiki it's PTSD so flash backs and the fear of dying by being what 'felt' like being impaled by ice (right now still trying to figure out how blizzard hits a target on impact)
I also will withhold all the game play mechanics i thought this universe worked like FF7 where game play mechanics were a part of the story but had actual effects like Meteor being able to destroy a city and holy negating black magic etc. That was a misunderstanding on my part.
Thank you once again Nero for your insight I hope i addressed some issues but Ill still rework some other things about my character.
Generally based on reading all your post however OTL It still is Mary Sueish.
I'll start over with him but first!
Quote:Where does your character's name come from? Naming conventions for Au Ra haven't been released yet, but it's highly unlikely that the a mundane Western name would be common from a foreign race originating in Othard. Was he raised somewhere else? Is he Raen? Xaela? How might his heritage have affected how he operates within his chosen profession? Why is he an Au Ra?
I have seen ic, ooc, and also in game with npcs Cross species relationships. Now for a Limsa pirate I'm unsure the traveling ability of one if a ship could even reach the eastern continent *aside from the Doma's fleeing for their lives*. It is confirmed Xaela travel and are a aggressive race. In the actual wiki I made Zach's mother a Blacksmith and his father a Scholarly rouge. (Not the job just smart enough to work as an informant.) As for the naming conventions I used  a goto name until i know more about Au ru concentions. I'll either keep it out of laziness or use a name change.
Quote:What age is he? A very common mistake for inexperienced roleplayers is to make very broad assumptions in how long it takes to master a skill. Excelling at a skill enough to be called a "master" should take a wealth of experience and, for magical arts, many years of study, and to label your character as a "prodigy" in these fields is classic Mary Sue material. How has he had the time to adequately learn combat arts and magical arts? Where did he find the soulstone to learn summoning, and how did he survive the tempering process in order to learn it? How long has he spent as an acolyte to learn Thaumaturgy? How long had he spent as an arcanist? If he's also an experienced trader, then how did he have the time to consistently practice these skills enough to be combat-effective with them?he's he 32 although he Seems 27 5 year time skip gives him the appearnce of his 27 self). As for how he's got the many craft skills from a young age he slowly worked up from a cabin boy to a boatswain for 9 years. Repairing sails (weaving), Repairing the boat (carpentry blacksmithing). Of course when the boat was under attack the char got better with using knives he kept form his father. However he wasn't perfect at all learning how to fight dirty to survive. After retiring from the sea to further his wallet gain he went ot study how ot use an axe balancing it out with magical studies for 2ish years (after the big fight) 7 more years. Now I might take off warrior and focus only on Rouge and magic classes.
Quote:Show, don't tell. Don't just "tell" people that he's "above average in intelligence", that does nothing. If he's a businessman, merely mentioning that he is wealthy and successful is generally enough to give the general idea that he is keen. Otherwise, don't mention his intelligence as part of his backstory, demonstrate it through interactions or stories. Other people and characters will, on their own, determine whether or not he is intelligent.Roger hopefully with all this tpying I'll do with the wiki that's jsut what I'll do. Thanks for elaborating this.
Quote:Like I said, lore bending and lore breaking is, in and of itself, perfectly fine, as long as you're aware that many people will avoid you or refuse to roleplay with you as a result. If that's acceptable for you, then play however you feel!Now aside from the ifrit fight I thought the Main character (Someone I roleplay with on Behemoth has chosen that role) for certain primal fights could call on adventurers aid.(How we played it out) Since then Zach became someone who would support the WoL and give advice but in two fights be came a crutch thanks to his PTWD.
That said, having been directly involved with storyline events or storyline characters is a huge Mary Sue red flag. We're talking "The Japanese are bombing Pearl Harbor, Mr. President" levels of red flag. The only one who'd successfully fought the primals and worked directly with the scions is the "main character", that is, the Warrior of Light. Again, it's acceptable for you to roleplay as the WoL as long as you accept other roleplayers avoiding you.
Quote:I'm not even going to bother asking how one wins a fight with a Primal "diplomatically" unless it consists of defeating Titan at Monopoly or something.
Becoming A Moogle Priest (Good Times) and helping Sell the point the WoL will work for the twelveswood.
Quote:The internet has robbed me of my ability to distinguish satire so this honestly confuses me. What form of healing magic? Is this tied into him being an arcanist? Why is this worth mentioning? How does this tie into his character?with healing magic either one needs a ability to get permission from the elementals to use healing magics. While for scholarly incaitons i believe it uses the same mathematical and geometric equations to cast. In a instance where the party fought off the moogles attempt at good king moogle mog resseruction. After words after heated discussion I convinced them to give me a bible in the name of GKMM. Which if scriptures are read. Will bestow healing effects (more o a joke chapter but acidentally made the 'cult of the king' on behemoth. )
Quote:Okay, this isn't all that unreasonable so long as you adequately explain how he managed to do this. Is he a skilled negotiator? A diplomat? Has he traded with the beast tribes for years, long enough for them to trust him with commerce? Moogles are invisible unless they choose to reveal themselves, so how did he manage to associate with them on a large scale?Trading and Sales taking three years of effort. Thanks to the help of the WoL while traveling Girdania he caught one trying to take his tea bottles. When they moogles thought it was liquor. Also the GGMM Bible i addressed before.
Quote:Elaborate. Simply telling me this does nothing to describe who your character is.Being born and raised on and near the sea. As well as patroy deity being Nald'Thal
Quote:Has experienced near death thanks to the battle of Certeneau.Post Traumatic Stress Disorder it affects him constantly in several battles also agaisnt enimies wielding ice spells against him. He's nervous around users of ice magic on his side as well. Reasons for this was lsited in the wiki.
Quote:Like I said, lore bending and lore breaking is, in and of itself, perfectly fine, as long as you're aware that many people will avoid you or refuse to roleplay with you as a result. If that's acceptable for you, then play however you feel!
That said, having been directly involved with storyline events or storyline characters is a huge Mary Sue red flag. We're talking "The Japanese are bombing Pearl Harbor, Mr. President" levels of red flag. The only one who'd successfully fought the primals and worked directly with the scions is the "main character", that is, the Warrior of Light. Again, it's acceptable for you to roleplay as the WoL as long as you accept other roleplayers avoiding you.
I'm not even going to bother asking how one wins a fight with a Primal "diplomatically" unless it consists of defeating Titan at Monopoly or something
Quote:Trauma? Trauma where? From what? Is this actual, legitimate psychological trauma, the kind that has a lasting effect on someone's psyche and damages them on a consistent basis, or the five minute disposable "oh no I accidentally rear-ended someone on the freeway" brand of trauma?
BoC typed up in the wiki it's PTSD so flash backs and the fear of dying by being what 'felt' like being impaled by ice (right now still trying to figure out how blizzard hits a target on impact)
Quote:Is this an actual addiction with observable, negative effects on him? Where does it come from? Have his relationships been affected by his addiction?Immensely so Green Tea soothing properties help relieve the nightmares from the incident of the battle. However this has come to a nuisances to his guild subordinates and clerks of his own store.
I also will withhold all the game play mechanics i thought this universe worked like FF7 where game play mechanics were a part of the story but had actual effects like Meteor being able to destroy a city and holy negating black magic etc. That was a misunderstanding on my part.
Thank you once again Nero for your insight I hope i addressed some issues but Ill still rework some other things about my character.
