I'm a very old, very entrenched RPer. Â I've bounced through and with several communities under various stages in my life.
What have I learned?
A) People talk. Â
There's no getting around this. Â People form their own social circles, some overlapping like a pox-blanket ven diagram of gossip.
B) Assholes always use the "And I speak for a lot of other people!" line.
And they're always full of shit. Â It's an emotional manipulation tactic to prop up purposefully hurtful and weak stance. Â If there was a problem, you don't hear it from just one source. Â Whenever you hear someone use this and refuse to name names, and have no proof, collaboration, or backup? Â They're full of shit. Always. Â They're wiggling their tiny e-peen around and saying everyone knows it's 10 feet long you're the only one who can't see it. Â Emperor's new clothes, except with shitty social actions.
C) What you sow, you reap.
Corny? Yeah. Â But, if you're generally a honest, no-shit taking person who is genuinely here for fun and a good time, that shows, that shines through and, in the end, it's what you take with you when you leave.
If you're someone who needs to crab-bucket other people to rise up that gets remembered. Â Your drama-storming gets remembered. Â Your lies get remembered. Â People always, always, look for an excuse to turn on someone like that and bring them down. Â In short: Evil doesn't pay, it just self destructs. Â The question is when.
D) So what do you take away with this?
Don't try to stop other people from talking. Â They will. Â
DO shut out people who shit talk, constantly. Â They're not worth investing in. They'll only vomit more shit out. Â You're here to have a good time. Â They're here to masturbate their ego at the expense of others and that's never pretty.
This ties into your point 3 about witch hunts. Â People who chase those flags without proof are the problem. Â The only counter is to Not Be Them. Â Sounds simple. Â In practice it's complicated. Â Sometimes you really do have to Go Loud against someone. Â Because sometimes people are being genuinely harmful to other players.
Given that this is the internet though, the drama-troll has a lot of fallbacks of "I didn't mean it" "You took that the wrong way" or, my personal favorite "You're a bully". Â This is where point C comes in. Â If you aren't a dick, if people know you aren't a dick, and people know you are, in fact, stand up, then no one will swallow that hook.
Social investment is a buggery and complicated. Â Generally it's worth it.
However my last rule is the most important
E) If it stops being fun, stop doing it.
We're here for fun. Â If you keep running into drama, if you keep running into shitty people and shitty communities? Drop them. Â Like a bad habit or a hot stone, drop them.
It's not worth the impact on your mental health through anxiety, stress, or otherwise. Â This is, above all, a game. Â The problem people will define themselves by how they can manipulate and cause shit in it for other people. Â
Thankfully we're adults here and can step outside that.
The shitty trolls can't. It's all they have.
And this is why, at least, they deserve some pity.
What have I learned?
A) People talk. Â
There's no getting around this. Â People form their own social circles, some overlapping like a pox-blanket ven diagram of gossip.
B) Assholes always use the "And I speak for a lot of other people!" line.
And they're always full of shit. Â It's an emotional manipulation tactic to prop up purposefully hurtful and weak stance. Â If there was a problem, you don't hear it from just one source. Â Whenever you hear someone use this and refuse to name names, and have no proof, collaboration, or backup? Â They're full of shit. Always. Â They're wiggling their tiny e-peen around and saying everyone knows it's 10 feet long you're the only one who can't see it. Â Emperor's new clothes, except with shitty social actions.
C) What you sow, you reap.
Corny? Yeah. Â But, if you're generally a honest, no-shit taking person who is genuinely here for fun and a good time, that shows, that shines through and, in the end, it's what you take with you when you leave.
If you're someone who needs to crab-bucket other people to rise up that gets remembered. Â Your drama-storming gets remembered. Â Your lies get remembered. Â People always, always, look for an excuse to turn on someone like that and bring them down. Â In short: Evil doesn't pay, it just self destructs. Â The question is when.
D) So what do you take away with this?
Don't try to stop other people from talking. Â They will. Â
DO shut out people who shit talk, constantly. Â They're not worth investing in. They'll only vomit more shit out. Â You're here to have a good time. Â They're here to masturbate their ego at the expense of others and that's never pretty.
This ties into your point 3 about witch hunts. Â People who chase those flags without proof are the problem. Â The only counter is to Not Be Them. Â Sounds simple. Â In practice it's complicated. Â Sometimes you really do have to Go Loud against someone. Â Because sometimes people are being genuinely harmful to other players.
Given that this is the internet though, the drama-troll has a lot of fallbacks of "I didn't mean it" "You took that the wrong way" or, my personal favorite "You're a bully". Â This is where point C comes in. Â If you aren't a dick, if people know you aren't a dick, and people know you are, in fact, stand up, then no one will swallow that hook.
Social investment is a buggery and complicated. Â Generally it's worth it.
However my last rule is the most important
E) If it stops being fun, stop doing it.
We're here for fun. Â If you keep running into drama, if you keep running into shitty people and shitty communities? Drop them. Â Like a bad habit or a hot stone, drop them.
It's not worth the impact on your mental health through anxiety, stress, or otherwise. Â This is, above all, a game. Â The problem people will define themselves by how they can manipulate and cause shit in it for other people. Â
Thankfully we're adults here and can step outside that.
The shitty trolls can't. It's all they have.
And this is why, at least, they deserve some pity.
![[Image: tumblr_mjwxnlcz6Q1rl52wjo2_500.gif]](https://33.media.tumblr.com/224cfbd6e79103f0520a30eabfc5085d/tumblr_mjwxnlcz6Q1rl52wjo2_500.gif)
