It's unfortunate that behavior like this has become so commonplace, and it's honestly one of the reasons why it's been so difficult for me to go out and make friends in this game. Having bounced around between a number of online communities since around 2002, I've seen my share of bad circumstances like this, and have been at the receiving end of people's senseless ire as well. But as was just mentioned, online communities feel sometimes like high school, and those were certainly days in which certain people would tear others down for the sake of looking like the better person, even if their methods were underhanded and nasty.
I'll admit I've also had experiences in which a first impression of a stranger in the game left a bad taste in my mouth and I was quick to make certain judgements that I now regret. Though the same could be said that I also made positive judgements on people who turned out to be malicious and self-possessed as well, so it can go both ways. At this point, I can only make efforts to better myself by not settling my beliefs towards a person until I can say I actually know them, because I personally hate it when others who know absolutely nothing about me act like they do and judge me unfairly.
Unfortunately, gossip and drama will always be a staple wherever you go. Ideally, we wouldn't have to deal with such things and everyone would be able to understand one another, but there are too many insecure or bitter people out there, or simply those who don't feel that they're doing anything wrong because the entire situation is misunderstood. Still, for people like me who are shy and reclusive, scenarios like this can make future socializing very difficult indeed. I've had one known case in the game in which a person--a friend--misinterpreted something and proceeded to speak negatively about me behind my back rather than come to me about the issue that upset them. Meanwhile, the things they were ranting about didn't even happen. As perhaps expected, that person has since stopped talking to me, even after claiming that the issue between us was resolved when we were able to discuss the misunderstanding.
It's a really horrible feeling when you're completely unaware of an issue while the issue itself is being spread around to everyone else who will form opinions despite having zero knowledge of you as a person. There have been times already when I've wondered if some of the few people in the game who have ever socialized with me stopped as suddenly as they did because they heard something about me that wasn't even true. It's unfortunate, but most people will simply believe the first thing they hear about a person and trust the perspective of another who may not even know that person either.
I would really like to make friends in this game, but hearing about this kind of behavior and seeing/experiencing it first hand just makes the introvert in me not even want to try for it. I know that there are some true gems in our community, but there are also many nasty and opinionated people who will tear you down the moment they realize they'll benefit from it in some way.
I'll admit I've also had experiences in which a first impression of a stranger in the game left a bad taste in my mouth and I was quick to make certain judgements that I now regret. Though the same could be said that I also made positive judgements on people who turned out to be malicious and self-possessed as well, so it can go both ways. At this point, I can only make efforts to better myself by not settling my beliefs towards a person until I can say I actually know them, because I personally hate it when others who know absolutely nothing about me act like they do and judge me unfairly.
Unfortunately, gossip and drama will always be a staple wherever you go. Ideally, we wouldn't have to deal with such things and everyone would be able to understand one another, but there are too many insecure or bitter people out there, or simply those who don't feel that they're doing anything wrong because the entire situation is misunderstood. Still, for people like me who are shy and reclusive, scenarios like this can make future socializing very difficult indeed. I've had one known case in the game in which a person--a friend--misinterpreted something and proceeded to speak negatively about me behind my back rather than come to me about the issue that upset them. Meanwhile, the things they were ranting about didn't even happen. As perhaps expected, that person has since stopped talking to me, even after claiming that the issue between us was resolved when we were able to discuss the misunderstanding.
It's a really horrible feeling when you're completely unaware of an issue while the issue itself is being spread around to everyone else who will form opinions despite having zero knowledge of you as a person. There have been times already when I've wondered if some of the few people in the game who have ever socialized with me stopped as suddenly as they did because they heard something about me that wasn't even true. It's unfortunate, but most people will simply believe the first thing they hear about a person and trust the perspective of another who may not even know that person either.
I would really like to make friends in this game, but hearing about this kind of behavior and seeing/experiencing it first hand just makes the introvert in me not even want to try for it. I know that there are some true gems in our community, but there are also many nasty and opinionated people who will tear you down the moment they realize they'll benefit from it in some way.
Yune Tabrisviel (Revamping, WIP) | Umeyae Kakurei | Ranshe Mei
