For a character who professes fearlessness, Virara is actually troubled by a lot of things. Even though she is already more or less a natural born killer, Virara has a lingering strain of childishness:
Minor Fears
Ghosts: An unease around the concept of fairy tale ghosts, rather than voidsent which have taken physical form. She fears that which she cannot punch, and nothing that she can punch, so she often will remove herself subtly from the conversation and/or room if people are exchanging ghost stories. She will slowly recede behind couches, or quietly excuse herself to go hide somewhere else in a barrel...
Food: Since she is constantly hungry, due to a strange metabolism, and has been near starving constantly as a child, she is always afraid of losing her food or not getting enough to eat, and fastidiously saves dried snacks and a generous sack of gil to feed herself. Between her repair savings (For things she breaks constantly like tools, her knuckle dusters, and training dummies) and her food savings, Virara typically has almost nothing to spend on herself, and lived like a transient until she joined her Free Company.
Phobias
Typhoon/Hurricane at Sea: For reasons she herself doesn't understand, extreme stormy weather upon the ocean will drive Virara into a violent panic. She cannot cope with this and luckily hasn't encountered it often. This has a lot to do with how she was cast away on her island. If she fought Leviathan, she'd be a mess, for instance.
Being Tied Up: A new phobia. Before, she'd been restrained by her Master when she was but a savage, feral child, but this is a whole new level of terrible. She's been beaten a lot since coming to Eorzea, usually due to factors beyond her control (ICly and OOCly, my luck is garbage...), but none have shamed her as badly as the last defeat, where she came closest to death and was completely helpless. Now whenever anything ties her up, Virara feels and sees the metal bite of her foe's wires. Depending on how severe it is, or how stressful the situation, she copes by simply removing whatever is restraining her and taking a moment to calm down immediately, or panicking and flying into a violent, uncontrolled rage. It's not likely to ever leave her for the rest of her life. Maybe killing her assailant will help her recover a little.
Anxieties
Introspection: More an aversion than a real fear, but she responds to it in a similar way. Virara is emotionally immature and doesn't like to think deeply about how something makes her feel. If it confuses her, even worse. If she considers deeply what her goal is and mulls over her odds, she will invariably fall apart, so she must keep going without thought, and anything that compromises that focus is an unwelcome distraction. She will usually cope by preoccupying herself with something else, going off on her own, or in some extreme cases getting violently angry.
Master: The idea of facing her Master causes Virara a lot of unease despite her ignorance of the fact. Whether she can win, whether she wants to win, whether Master is alive or dead, whether it will give her closure, whether it will give Master closure... These things would occur to Virara and she would perhaps be able to reason her way to normalcy, if she wasn't insistent on ignoring each and every last one of them in favor of a simple desire to kill. She can't anyway, since her entire being and sense of self are built upon this objective; indeed, it would be possible to argue Virara was never truly a "person" until she found focus.
Most of the fears she has, people don't respond to, as Virara keeps it bottled up. When she expresses these emotions, then, they are as confusing to her as to other people around her. It is an unhealthy state of being. The way I see it, nobody's truly fearless. There's only people who profess fearlessness and are liars, haven't found the thing they fear yet, or are not in touch with their own emotions. Virara is the latter.
Outside of these, Virara doesn't care if her enemy is an Opo-Opo or Vishap. She'll fight to the death without regrets or even a hint of fear, because she's convinced dying is impossible so long as she has yet to fulfill her objective.
Minor Fears
Ghosts: An unease around the concept of fairy tale ghosts, rather than voidsent which have taken physical form. She fears that which she cannot punch, and nothing that she can punch, so she often will remove herself subtly from the conversation and/or room if people are exchanging ghost stories. She will slowly recede behind couches, or quietly excuse herself to go hide somewhere else in a barrel...
Food: Since she is constantly hungry, due to a strange metabolism, and has been near starving constantly as a child, she is always afraid of losing her food or not getting enough to eat, and fastidiously saves dried snacks and a generous sack of gil to feed herself. Between her repair savings (For things she breaks constantly like tools, her knuckle dusters, and training dummies) and her food savings, Virara typically has almost nothing to spend on herself, and lived like a transient until she joined her Free Company.
Phobias
Typhoon/Hurricane at Sea: For reasons she herself doesn't understand, extreme stormy weather upon the ocean will drive Virara into a violent panic. She cannot cope with this and luckily hasn't encountered it often. This has a lot to do with how she was cast away on her island. If she fought Leviathan, she'd be a mess, for instance.
Being Tied Up: A new phobia. Before, she'd been restrained by her Master when she was but a savage, feral child, but this is a whole new level of terrible. She's been beaten a lot since coming to Eorzea, usually due to factors beyond her control (ICly and OOCly, my luck is garbage...), but none have shamed her as badly as the last defeat, where she came closest to death and was completely helpless. Now whenever anything ties her up, Virara feels and sees the metal bite of her foe's wires. Depending on how severe it is, or how stressful the situation, she copes by simply removing whatever is restraining her and taking a moment to calm down immediately, or panicking and flying into a violent, uncontrolled rage. It's not likely to ever leave her for the rest of her life. Maybe killing her assailant will help her recover a little.
Anxieties
Introspection: More an aversion than a real fear, but she responds to it in a similar way. Virara is emotionally immature and doesn't like to think deeply about how something makes her feel. If it confuses her, even worse. If she considers deeply what her goal is and mulls over her odds, she will invariably fall apart, so she must keep going without thought, and anything that compromises that focus is an unwelcome distraction. She will usually cope by preoccupying herself with something else, going off on her own, or in some extreme cases getting violently angry.
Master: The idea of facing her Master causes Virara a lot of unease despite her ignorance of the fact. Whether she can win, whether she wants to win, whether Master is alive or dead, whether it will give her closure, whether it will give Master closure... These things would occur to Virara and she would perhaps be able to reason her way to normalcy, if she wasn't insistent on ignoring each and every last one of them in favor of a simple desire to kill. She can't anyway, since her entire being and sense of self are built upon this objective; indeed, it would be possible to argue Virara was never truly a "person" until she found focus.
Most of the fears she has, people don't respond to, as Virara keeps it bottled up. When she expresses these emotions, then, they are as confusing to her as to other people around her. It is an unhealthy state of being. The way I see it, nobody's truly fearless. There's only people who profess fearlessness and are liars, haven't found the thing they fear yet, or are not in touch with their own emotions. Virara is the latter.
Outside of these, Virara doesn't care if her enemy is an Opo-Opo or Vishap. She'll fight to the death without regrets or even a hint of fear, because she's convinced dying is impossible so long as she has yet to fulfill her objective.
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AV by Kura-Ou
Wiki (Last updated 01/16)
My Balmung profile.
AV by Kura-Ou
Wiki (Last updated 01/16)
My Balmung profile.
