Xaela and Au Ra in general are, as said, pretty open to interpretation. There are a lot of tribes with varying vague ideas. I've seen people really embellish on these and congregate with others to sorta rebuild themselves in Eorzea and others who left the old traditions as more of a backstory and started anew once their character traveled from Othard. I rather like that it was left open. If they had laid out specifics we would have had a bunch of copy cat Au Ra running about with really similar backstories. As it stands now I feel like there are enough opportunities to accommodate lots of different styles and ideas without anyone being right or wrong.
Maybe its time to flesh out the character a bit more and see if its their race that is causing the problem? I've had times when I felt so so about rping one of my alts because I just didn't feel the same connection with them as I did for other characters I had....Now my Xaela has a tumblr and a 400 page google doc worth of rp. Sometimes it just takes time or that one rp that really sets you off. Whether it is or isn't due to race, maybe its just time to throw a wrench in the works? Personally I like nothing more than to throw a character through the grinder and see what comes out on the other side. Making them fall apart is good insight into how they were held together in the first place.
Edit: Personally I rp my Xaela 'mid range'. I don't buy into the little mermaid school of dinglehopper *sticks teapot on head* 'oh what a lovely hat' thing I've seen. He is mostly mute so that solves a lot of the speech issues but he has trouble with certain concepts. Like Gil. His first rp ever was trying to buy room and board with arrowheads and a pelt and nearly getting thrown out into the snow for it. I think some of the tribes might be better adjusted than others. There was one (I can't recall the name) that interacted with the outsiders more and others like you said who were violent in nature. I think the latter might very well mesh more seamlessly. Granted...what we have seen also shows that Ishgard, Gridania and Ul'dah may not be terribly welcoming based on looks alone so they still might have issues. Limsa is the only city I've not heard of being called out on some sort of discrimination against the Au Ra.
Maybe its time to flesh out the character a bit more and see if its their race that is causing the problem? I've had times when I felt so so about rping one of my alts because I just didn't feel the same connection with them as I did for other characters I had....Now my Xaela has a tumblr and a 400 page google doc worth of rp. Sometimes it just takes time or that one rp that really sets you off. Whether it is or isn't due to race, maybe its just time to throw a wrench in the works? Personally I like nothing more than to throw a character through the grinder and see what comes out on the other side. Making them fall apart is good insight into how they were held together in the first place.
Edit: Personally I rp my Xaela 'mid range'. I don't buy into the little mermaid school of dinglehopper *sticks teapot on head* 'oh what a lovely hat' thing I've seen. He is mostly mute so that solves a lot of the speech issues but he has trouble with certain concepts. Like Gil. His first rp ever was trying to buy room and board with arrowheads and a pelt and nearly getting thrown out into the snow for it. I think some of the tribes might be better adjusted than others. There was one (I can't recall the name) that interacted with the outsiders more and others like you said who were violent in nature. I think the latter might very well mesh more seamlessly. Granted...what we have seen also shows that Ishgard, Gridania and Ul'dah may not be terribly welcoming based on looks alone so they still might have issues. Limsa is the only city I've not heard of being called out on some sort of discrimination against the Au Ra.
