To me, OOC and real life always come first. Hands down. RP is a collaborative effort out-of-character before it is in-character, and requires working with other players to entertain one another. First and foremost, the player in question, usually, is our friend, or soon will be, and we should make every effort to include them, to work with them, to meet them halfway if there is ever a character or roleplay-based storytelling issue. It is still an out-of-character issue that should first be addressed. I personally think that a solid OOC foundation makes for a much better RP experience.Â
That said, sometimes there just isn't a good fit between new member and FC, and that's okay. I personally don't subscribe to the idea of absolute guild loyalty. I think people know what is best for them, and they should trust themselves to make the right decisions for them. It really is okay to just say 'this isn't working for me, thank you, but no thank you,' and leave on good terms. It is also nice to give the FC leadership a heads up as to something that might be an on-going problem. While that may require an uncomfortable exit interview conversation, no one is under any obligation to have that conversation. For me at least, as a co-leader of an FC, I'd at least like to know what I could have done better.Â
What I don't necessarily think is an ideal approach is to isolate or hold back during the initial trial-run of joining the FC. I think new members should be as active as possible, and established members too should help those new members adjust. That trial period is just as much, if not more, for the new member to figure out if the FC will work for them, as it is for the leadership to assess whether the new member is a good fit for the FC.
That said, sometimes there just isn't a good fit between new member and FC, and that's okay. I personally don't subscribe to the idea of absolute guild loyalty. I think people know what is best for them, and they should trust themselves to make the right decisions for them. It really is okay to just say 'this isn't working for me, thank you, but no thank you,' and leave on good terms. It is also nice to give the FC leadership a heads up as to something that might be an on-going problem. While that may require an uncomfortable exit interview conversation, no one is under any obligation to have that conversation. For me at least, as a co-leader of an FC, I'd at least like to know what I could have done better.Â
What I don't necessarily think is an ideal approach is to isolate or hold back during the initial trial-run of joining the FC. I think new members should be as active as possible, and established members too should help those new members adjust. That trial period is just as much, if not more, for the new member to figure out if the FC will work for them, as it is for the leadership to assess whether the new member is a good fit for the FC.