(11-19-2015, 03:13 AM)Glioca Sargonnai Wrote:(11-19-2015, 02:42 AM)Zhavi Wrote:(11-18-2015, 10:29 PM)V Wrote:Disagree. Â I know people with behavior I see as assholish that I welcome from them to me, because of how they mean it and how I take it. Â They're rough, but it has lead to immense improvement in my writing.(11-18-2015, 09:20 PM)Zhavi Wrote: If you're saying don't be an asshole unnecessarily (sometimes the raw, brutal truth is a good thing), then I agree.
There is no situation where being an asshole is necessary. Truth can be delivered, even in a blunt and straight forward fashion, without being an asshole. That truth is also much more effectively delivered when done so with tact.
The only reason anyone has for ever being an asshole to someone else is because of the enjoyment they get from it. By all means, be an asshole as it pleases you, but don't pretend you're doing anyone a favor.
It's fantastic that you have people that you're willing to let be assholes to you. Everyone else isn't you, and you shouldn't expect them to deal well if you or someone else come at someone with a judgmental, confrontational, disparaging or demeaning attitude involving their writing or character concepts.Â
It's a ridiculous expectation of behavior that just because you're alright with it, it means that others will be as well. That's like saying you have one friend who is fine with you walking up to them and going 'Hey, Bitch, how ya been?'. Not every friend is going to be okay with that form of address directed at them.Â
Similarly, like it was stated earlier, respect is a two way street and it's easy to be respectful rather than going 'Rawr, your writing sucks and you should feel bad and only play in this way that I say is okay!'. Those 'assholes' could have gone at you in literally any other way, and it's likely you still would have gotten the message. And if you wouldn't have, that's still obstinate behavior on your part, and not an excuse for them to be an asshole to you, or for you or them to be an asshole to others.
So no, there is never a legitimate reason for being an asshole to someone. Just excuses people give to explain away themselves or others behaving that way.
THIS. Gentle critique is one thing, but there's never an excuse for being impolite. Some people can brush off rudeness and that's fantastic for them. For others, it can ruin their day (or week). I fall into the thin skin category myself. I welcome advice, but I crumple like paper when someone is a total asshole to me. It doesn't cost anything to be nice, even when pointing out someone's mistakes or critiquing their ideas.
Michaux Vidal - Oyuna Qestir - Tatsu Kaisuri
Arnvi Sunblade - Noriyasu Kuroda - Lucien Lemaire - Bren'li Arhys
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