Hammersmith's To Don't List from his time in the Immortal Flames:
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don’t like to War Criminal posters.
9. Not allowed to title any product “Get Over itâ€.
10. Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time.
12. Not allowed to join any militia.
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I’m right.
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind’s baser instincts in recruitment posters.
43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
46. I am not authorized to fire officers.
54. “Napalm sticks to kids†is *not* a motivational phrase.
57. The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?â€
59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.
67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.
69. May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty.
70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.
74. Woad is not camouflage makeup.
82. May not form any press gangs.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.
122. Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.
124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.
127. “No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages†does not imply that a Jack Daniel’s ® IV is acceptable.
130. “I’m drunk†is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
161. Bodychecking General officers is not a good idea.
179. On Army documents, my race is not “Otherâ€.
180. Nor is it “Secretariat, in the thirdâ€.
185. My name is not a killing word.
186. I am not the Emperor of anything.
187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
188. May not challenge officers to “Meet me on the field of honor, at dawnâ€.
196. I am not allowed to give tattoos.
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don’t like to War Criminal posters.
9. Not allowed to title any product “Get Over itâ€.
10. Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time.
12. Not allowed to join any militia.
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I’m right.
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind’s baser instincts in recruitment posters.
43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
46. I am not authorized to fire officers.
54. “Napalm sticks to kids†is *not* a motivational phrase.
57. The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?â€
59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.
67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.
69. May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty.
70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.
74. Woad is not camouflage makeup.
82. May not form any press gangs.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.
122. Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.
124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.
127. “No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages†does not imply that a Jack Daniel’s ® IV is acceptable.
130. “I’m drunk†is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
161. Bodychecking General officers is not a good idea.
179. On Army documents, my race is not “Otherâ€.
180. Nor is it “Secretariat, in the thirdâ€.
185. My name is not a killing word.
186. I am not the Emperor of anything.
187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
188. May not challenge officers to “Meet me on the field of honor, at dawnâ€.
196. I am not allowed to give tattoos.
![[Image: tumblr_mjwxnlcz6Q1rl52wjo2_500.gif]](https://33.media.tumblr.com/224cfbd6e79103f0520a30eabfc5085d/tumblr_mjwxnlcz6Q1rl52wjo2_500.gif)
