(12-31-2015, 11:04 AM)Milly Wrote: On the whole it's quite short-but-sweet which is nice. However it's maybe so short that I feel it's not making the most sense. I think it's meant to imply that she is actually Adarkim, but then it goes on to say after this is implied that she is 'supportive towards the Avagnarian cause' but not what that cause is or why. Overall I don't really understand what Avagnar and Adarkim means and why it matters which she is.Well thank you! And I always thought Au Ra are spelled Au'Ra...now I see...I got no clue where I get that from. And as far as Adarkim and Avagnar go it's both actually official lore so I saw no need to put that in though I maybe should change that, I wouldn't have bothered with Au Ra tribe names either if I hadn't made one myself.
As you realise there are grammar and spelling mistakes. There's quite a few so I don't know how best to go through them, mostly tense to do with 'was' and 'were'. Also it's 'Au Ra' not 'Au'ra'.
Keep it up!
