I didn't see anything that jumped out at me as implausible on the first read through. There were a couple of things I wanted to ask about/clarify in regards to lore and continuity.
1- Character's name. I have nothing against Dei Angura, but given this is a Garlean military document, it is likely that they would refer to this person by her Garlean name and title. Considering she's a healer, perhaps Dei jen Angura, "jen" being the title given to Garlean medicus. Alternatively, being captured from an annexed territory and having served fewer than twenty years in the military, she might still possess the "aan" title, if she hasn't been promoted to an actual medicus?
More on Garlean military, ranks, titles, and enhancements can be found in this thread on Garlean military lore.
2- Continuity clarification? This quote had me double take:
Which battle? Is this one made up for backstory purposes or is this a reference to Garlemald's takeover of Ala Mhigo?
If the first, that's fine, just know that Garlemald has had complete control over Ala Mhigo for twenty years now and that most of the Ala Mhigan Resistance has gone underground since before the Calamity due to extensive losses and being unable to smuggle fighters into or out of the city-state for several years now thanks to the massive Cermet Wall built around the city. So any such fighting would've been an inside riot, making your character's Gridanian heritage difficult if she hadn't been smuggled into the city as a young child.
If the latter, Ala Mhigo fell to Garlemald swiftly, with very little bloodshed at first, roughly 20 years ago. Your character would have been much too young to have taken part. That is not to say she couldn't have been a Resistance fighter much later and taken part in a battle then, but it'd have been unlikely to have taken place within the city-state itself, but somewhere in Gyr Abania is plausible.
More lore on Ala Mhigo, the Resistance, and the timeline of Garlemald's annexation can be found in this Ala Mhigo Lore Compilation.
So some questions to ask yourself and clarify in your backstory would be,
How long has my character been with the Garleans? Her training and indoctrination says about a year or so, then further down it says she's spent years trying to practice and work out her weaknesses. Implying she's been an agent for some time?
Considering her age, where would she have gotten captured? This kinda ties into the first. How long she's been a Garlean may determine where she might have gotten captured. If it was five years ago, a more likely venue would've been in the weeks following the Battle of Carteneau. Its unlikely she would've been taken during the battle as it was against the half-crazed and zealotous VIIth Legion, which is now all destroyed and was abandoned by the Empire to die. But in the days following Carteneau, the XIVth Legion aggressively launched attacks on Eorzean soil, taking advantage of fleeing Alliance forces.
Hope this helps! ^^
1- Character's name. I have nothing against Dei Angura, but given this is a Garlean military document, it is likely that they would refer to this person by her Garlean name and title. Considering she's a healer, perhaps Dei jen Angura, "jen" being the title given to Garlean medicus. Alternatively, being captured from an annexed territory and having served fewer than twenty years in the military, she might still possess the "aan" title, if she hasn't been promoted to an actual medicus?
More on Garlean military, ranks, titles, and enhancements can be found in this thread on Garlean military lore.
2- Continuity clarification? This quote had me double take:
(06-04-2016, 12:41 PM)CausticLullaby Wrote: Subject was found in Ala Mhigo healing the wounded from both sides of the battle. Captain <REDACTED> took her into custody and upon questioning he stated that she said, “I’m sick of politics. I just try to help where I can.â€
Which battle? Is this one made up for backstory purposes or is this a reference to Garlemald's takeover of Ala Mhigo?
If the first, that's fine, just know that Garlemald has had complete control over Ala Mhigo for twenty years now and that most of the Ala Mhigan Resistance has gone underground since before the Calamity due to extensive losses and being unable to smuggle fighters into or out of the city-state for several years now thanks to the massive Cermet Wall built around the city. So any such fighting would've been an inside riot, making your character's Gridanian heritage difficult if she hadn't been smuggled into the city as a young child.
If the latter, Ala Mhigo fell to Garlemald swiftly, with very little bloodshed at first, roughly 20 years ago. Your character would have been much too young to have taken part. That is not to say she couldn't have been a Resistance fighter much later and taken part in a battle then, but it'd have been unlikely to have taken place within the city-state itself, but somewhere in Gyr Abania is plausible.
More lore on Ala Mhigo, the Resistance, and the timeline of Garlemald's annexation can be found in this Ala Mhigo Lore Compilation.
So some questions to ask yourself and clarify in your backstory would be,
How long has my character been with the Garleans? Her training and indoctrination says about a year or so, then further down it says she's spent years trying to practice and work out her weaknesses. Implying she's been an agent for some time?
Considering her age, where would she have gotten captured? This kinda ties into the first. How long she's been a Garlean may determine where she might have gotten captured. If it was five years ago, a more likely venue would've been in the weeks following the Battle of Carteneau. Its unlikely she would've been taken during the battle as it was against the half-crazed and zealotous VIIth Legion, which is now all destroyed and was abandoned by the Empire to die. But in the days following Carteneau, the XIVth Legion aggressively launched attacks on Eorzean soil, taking advantage of fleeing Alliance forces.
Hope this helps! ^^
