My RP background is Neverwinter Nights servers, which have a very different set of social norms than we see here (they resemble LARPs), due to the presence of DMs who have authority above other players.
1. Yes, a couple of times, but I'll focus on just one: My character was involved in a plot with very high stakes and lost. The DM overseeing the plot offered me a chance to save my character, which I refused.
2. Some of my long-time RP buddies quit the server. It was completely silent, the players didn't talk to me nor the DM involved about what happened; they just stopped playing in the days after my character's death was announced. This sort of thing is fairly common in NWNRP-culture, too, but no one really talks about it. We all accept permadeath as necessity, so there's sort-of an unspoken rule against complaining about a permadeath (especially one that wasn't your own character) - but at the same time, we all play for fun. If the death of a character makes continuing to play someone whose RP was heavily tied up in theirs un-fun, there's nothing else to do but quit.
3. I'd have more problems with someone who says that they'll never kill their character no matter what than with someone who says that they might kill their character unceremoniously. That said - I don't RP to just be an audience to other people's writing, and I doubt many people do. If you are planning on killing off your character, make sure that the people you commonly RP with are invested in the reasons why your character is dying, and respect the agency of other players at all steps along the way.
1. Yes, a couple of times, but I'll focus on just one: My character was involved in a plot with very high stakes and lost. The DM overseeing the plot offered me a chance to save my character, which I refused.
2. Some of my long-time RP buddies quit the server. It was completely silent, the players didn't talk to me nor the DM involved about what happened; they just stopped playing in the days after my character's death was announced. This sort of thing is fairly common in NWNRP-culture, too, but no one really talks about it. We all accept permadeath as necessity, so there's sort-of an unspoken rule against complaining about a permadeath (especially one that wasn't your own character) - but at the same time, we all play for fun. If the death of a character makes continuing to play someone whose RP was heavily tied up in theirs un-fun, there's nothing else to do but quit.
3. I'd have more problems with someone who says that they'll never kill their character no matter what than with someone who says that they might kill their character unceremoniously. That said - I don't RP to just be an audience to other people's writing, and I doubt many people do. If you are planning on killing off your character, make sure that the people you commonly RP with are invested in the reasons why your character is dying, and respect the agency of other players at all steps along the way.