
Entry 5 - Secrets:
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I've seen him, again and again. I can't bear to see the sight of him, but not because I don't like it. It's actually quite the opposite. I care for Waylon and I told him that Kanako was dead. He believed me and was left alone to think bout what I had told him.
But what if. What if I made an exception? If I did that, then we would go through the same cycle as we did before. Sure we would have good times, but it would only be met with pain shortly after. Is it really worth it? Is it really worth telling him the truth? My entire reason for doing this is so others wouldn't have to worry about me, am I really going to go against that for one person?
If I do it for one person, I might certainly do it to others and at that point, there would be no reason for the name at all. I shouldn't do it, but I have this longing to still tell him.
If I told him, we could go back to the way things use to be, before I went to chase something in the shadows hoping I could catch, only to find myself going further and further until I was lost. Maybe, things will be better this time. Maybe it would even be a good idea for him to know. To have that one person to keep me grounded.
Maybe it's not such a bad idea after all.
- - -
I was right. When I told him the truth, he was livid. He couldn't believe I went so far as to make him believe that. I know him well, deep down I knew he would fully understand why I did it and accept it. I was right, he did. He was angry that I told him Kanako was dead, but was happy to know who I really was.
Everything will be okay.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I've seen him, again and again. I can't bear to see the sight of him, but not because I don't like it. It's actually quite the opposite. I care for Waylon and I told him that Kanako was dead. He believed me and was left alone to think bout what I had told him.
But what if. What if I made an exception? If I did that, then we would go through the same cycle as we did before. Sure we would have good times, but it would only be met with pain shortly after. Is it really worth it? Is it really worth telling him the truth? My entire reason for doing this is so others wouldn't have to worry about me, am I really going to go against that for one person?
If I do it for one person, I might certainly do it to others and at that point, there would be no reason for the name at all. I shouldn't do it, but I have this longing to still tell him.
If I told him, we could go back to the way things use to be, before I went to chase something in the shadows hoping I could catch, only to find myself going further and further until I was lost. Maybe, things will be better this time. Maybe it would even be a good idea for him to know. To have that one person to keep me grounded.
Maybe it's not such a bad idea after all.
- - -
I was right. When I told him the truth, he was livid. He couldn't believe I went so far as to make him believe that. I know him well, deep down I knew he would fully understand why I did it and accept it. I was right, he did. He was angry that I told him Kanako was dead, but was happy to know who I really was.
Everything will be okay.