Entry 12 - Identity:
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So much has changed in such small amount of time. I left Tray with quite a bang and my life was saved by an intimidating Xaela. I think it was meeting him that really turned everything around. He had me angered, I was close to yelling and I could feel it. I could feel that corruption once more and he could too. He immediately questioned the blue pendant and despite my efforts, he just wouldn't leave it alone.
I am unsure what he did, but something that I once thought could never be removed was suddenly freed. I was unsure if I was grateful or terrified, but I was quick to leave. As soon as I found a room to rest in for the night, I began to plan how I would track down Tray. He almost killed me, he's caused everyone else nothing but trouble, and I already know he won't change. I want him dead.
What a surprise, the same Xaela man found me, it had been a few suns and the corruption inside of me was already getting worse. I had a limited time to get the deed done and him distracting me wasn't going to help, but he didn't come to idle chatter, no, he came to help. I'm still not even sure how to explain exactly, but his freakish staff managed to just.....take it all away. I just don't understand, but it really fucking hurt.
When the pendant was removed, my appearance changed. I noticed that one of my eyes was pure crimson red, and my hair returned to pure red. There she was, there was the dead woman. She was hiding under those magics and without them, she was free. I didn't want her to be free, so I managed to obtain an alchemical potion which allowed me to change my hair back to that light orange color that everyone knew.
I could've taken the chance right then and there to just return to an old life, but I thought it was too late, I was already this far into my new life that it would be even more difficult to just turn back around. However, after seeing Hojo again, I'm not so sure.
Hojo followed me outside of Limsa Lominsa. Part of me knew I should've continued on and make him believe Kanako was dead, but I couldn't. It just wasn't in my heart, he was someone I deeply cared for and couldn't abandon just like that. I gave him all the subtle signs until he finally connected it all and when he did, it was anything but pleasant. He yelled at me, claimed that I was selfish, I had no one to blame but myself, and how pathetic I was. He's right, I really am pathetic.
When I woke up in those woods and saw my reflection, I looked completely different. I almost didn't know who I even was and that's how it should've been. I thought it was a sign to start over and make life happier for everyone else. Ever since this change, it's been anything but happy yet instead of giving it up, I've kept going and hoped that it would get better. After seeing Hojo and others I use to be close to, now I'm not so sure.
I just want to make things right. Yet I feel like if I drop everything and bring someone back from the dead, it'll just make things worse. What will people of the free company think? I lied to them and it'll make them think I'm not to be trusted. What of the others? Will they truly be happy to see her again, or angered and not forgive me for leading them in circles?
I'm lost and confused, I'm not sure what's better for me. What's the point in keeping this up? So many already know but choose to blissfully ignore and call me Marigold anyway.
Yes, that's right.....
Marigold. It's just a name, nothing more.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
So much has changed in such small amount of time. I left Tray with quite a bang and my life was saved by an intimidating Xaela. I think it was meeting him that really turned everything around. He had me angered, I was close to yelling and I could feel it. I could feel that corruption once more and he could too. He immediately questioned the blue pendant and despite my efforts, he just wouldn't leave it alone.
I am unsure what he did, but something that I once thought could never be removed was suddenly freed. I was unsure if I was grateful or terrified, but I was quick to leave. As soon as I found a room to rest in for the night, I began to plan how I would track down Tray. He almost killed me, he's caused everyone else nothing but trouble, and I already know he won't change. I want him dead.
What a surprise, the same Xaela man found me, it had been a few suns and the corruption inside of me was already getting worse. I had a limited time to get the deed done and him distracting me wasn't going to help, but he didn't come to idle chatter, no, he came to help. I'm still not even sure how to explain exactly, but his freakish staff managed to just.....take it all away. I just don't understand, but it really fucking hurt.
When the pendant was removed, my appearance changed. I noticed that one of my eyes was pure crimson red, and my hair returned to pure red. There she was, there was the dead woman. She was hiding under those magics and without them, she was free. I didn't want her to be free, so I managed to obtain an alchemical potion which allowed me to change my hair back to that light orange color that everyone knew.
I could've taken the chance right then and there to just return to an old life, but I thought it was too late, I was already this far into my new life that it would be even more difficult to just turn back around. However, after seeing Hojo again, I'm not so sure.
Hojo followed me outside of Limsa Lominsa. Part of me knew I should've continued on and make him believe Kanako was dead, but I couldn't. It just wasn't in my heart, he was someone I deeply cared for and couldn't abandon just like that. I gave him all the subtle signs until he finally connected it all and when he did, it was anything but pleasant. He yelled at me, claimed that I was selfish, I had no one to blame but myself, and how pathetic I was. He's right, I really am pathetic.
When I woke up in those woods and saw my reflection, I looked completely different. I almost didn't know who I even was and that's how it should've been. I thought it was a sign to start over and make life happier for everyone else. Ever since this change, it's been anything but happy yet instead of giving it up, I've kept going and hoped that it would get better. After seeing Hojo and others I use to be close to, now I'm not so sure.
I just want to make things right. Yet I feel like if I drop everything and bring someone back from the dead, it'll just make things worse. What will people of the free company think? I lied to them and it'll make them think I'm not to be trusted. What of the others? Will they truly be happy to see her again, or angered and not forgive me for leading them in circles?
I'm lost and confused, I'm not sure what's better for me. What's the point in keeping this up? So many already know but choose to blissfully ignore and call me Marigold anyway.
Yes, that's right.....
Marigold. It's just a name, nothing more.
![[Image: LeN1WVo.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/LeN1WVo.jpg)
