A few things that could use improvement...
- A few grammatical/spelling errors. I'd recommend reading through it again.
- You switch back and forth between male and female pronouns when describing your character. Is this intentional? It makes things a little confusing, particularly when you mention at least twice how your character acts around the "opposite sex" (we don't know which sex is the opposite one when we don't know your character's gender).
- You seem to have a lot of allusions to anime and Japanese culture in your character's biography, talking about wearing kimono, your character using Japanese words and honorifics, etc. Is there a reason for this? FFXIV's equivalent of Japanese culture is not native to Thanalan, or Eorzea in general. XIV's version of Japan is Doma, which is another country entirely. Your character was born in Thanalan and I didn't see any mention of him/her traveling, so I'm not sure why he/she would know those things and regularly use them.
- "It's all good in the hood" doesn't really fit the setting/time period of Hydaelyn or the typical speech of Eorzeans. If you're going for a very casual approach to RP that's fine, but otherwise, it's not really lore-compliant.
- I'm not certain what a "gothic" accent sounds like and I don't think that's a known thing. Maybe rephrase the description of your character's accent in a way people could easily understand and hear in their heads?
- Unless I missed it, I don't believe you specified your character's age, which would be a useful detail to include.
- A few grammatical/spelling errors. I'd recommend reading through it again.
- You switch back and forth between male and female pronouns when describing your character. Is this intentional? It makes things a little confusing, particularly when you mention at least twice how your character acts around the "opposite sex" (we don't know which sex is the opposite one when we don't know your character's gender).
- You seem to have a lot of allusions to anime and Japanese culture in your character's biography, talking about wearing kimono, your character using Japanese words and honorifics, etc. Is there a reason for this? FFXIV's equivalent of Japanese culture is not native to Thanalan, or Eorzea in general. XIV's version of Japan is Doma, which is another country entirely. Your character was born in Thanalan and I didn't see any mention of him/her traveling, so I'm not sure why he/she would know those things and regularly use them.
- "It's all good in the hood" doesn't really fit the setting/time period of Hydaelyn or the typical speech of Eorzeans. If you're going for a very casual approach to RP that's fine, but otherwise, it's not really lore-compliant.
- I'm not certain what a "gothic" accent sounds like and I don't think that's a known thing. Maybe rephrase the description of your character's accent in a way people could easily understand and hear in their heads?
- Unless I missed it, I don't believe you specified your character's age, which would be a useful detail to include.
![[Image: NCtCate.png]](http://i.imgur.com/NCtCate.png)
