Entry 13 - Motivation:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I found Nahare and what I thought would be a terrible meeting, actually turned out to help me. She yelled at me, telling me how I lied to her and left her, which I did and fully admit, but I didn't bother to argue. Instead, I couldn't help but feel the need to help her. The poor woman is due to give birth to her kits soon and the man who got her pregnant, Hojo, isn't even around.
He isn't loyal, he left her behind. Last I checked, he was hanging around a brothel, but maybe there isn't something to this I don't know? But the way Nahare sounded, she didn't know he was there. He's a good man, that much I know and want to believe. I'm trying to rebuild his trust and telling this to Nahare isn't the way to do it, but I had to tell her. She had to face the facts that Hojo wasn't going to be there for her and the kits. Yet here I sit, still thinking there is some good to him. He can help Suna and I with this endeavor, but I have to find a way to get him on board. Last I saw him, he yelled at me and called me a liar too. That's what everyone seems to associate me with, but I've accepted that fact. I'll think more on how to approach him about Tray'ju and how he can further help us.
Being able to see Nahare again actually gave me a bit of strength, although tensions are still high, I think we both want the same thing for each other. I want to help her and be there for her to help care for her kits and tend to her wellbeing and she want's to keep me safe. I wan't to keep her out of all of this, knowing her, it'll be hard, but I just need to do enough to convince her to focus on her kits. I need to rebuild the trust lost so she can believe me and finally listen and take my advice.
She thinks that even with kits, she can run around still risking her life, but that's not how it works. Don't risk your life and risk not being able to see your kits again, invest in them and not violence. I also need time to strategize what to do next, when Tray'ju is completely out of the picture, that won't be the end of it.
The Black Lotus will continue to look for him and others like him will spring up and try to cause trouble, I'll be there from preventing something like this from happening again, but I can't do it alone. I already know Sun would be willing to help me and if I can get Hojo on board, we'll be able to accomplish quite a lot.
I tell myself I'm ready to rest, but I should've known it's not in my heart. I can tell myself that one hundred times, but my heart's desire won't change. I like the thrill.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I found Nahare and what I thought would be a terrible meeting, actually turned out to help me. She yelled at me, telling me how I lied to her and left her, which I did and fully admit, but I didn't bother to argue. Instead, I couldn't help but feel the need to help her. The poor woman is due to give birth to her kits soon and the man who got her pregnant, Hojo, isn't even around.
He isn't loyal, he left her behind. Last I checked, he was hanging around a brothel, but maybe there isn't something to this I don't know? But the way Nahare sounded, she didn't know he was there. He's a good man, that much I know and want to believe. I'm trying to rebuild his trust and telling this to Nahare isn't the way to do it, but I had to tell her. She had to face the facts that Hojo wasn't going to be there for her and the kits. Yet here I sit, still thinking there is some good to him. He can help Suna and I with this endeavor, but I have to find a way to get him on board. Last I saw him, he yelled at me and called me a liar too. That's what everyone seems to associate me with, but I've accepted that fact. I'll think more on how to approach him about Tray'ju and how he can further help us.
Being able to see Nahare again actually gave me a bit of strength, although tensions are still high, I think we both want the same thing for each other. I want to help her and be there for her to help care for her kits and tend to her wellbeing and she want's to keep me safe. I wan't to keep her out of all of this, knowing her, it'll be hard, but I just need to do enough to convince her to focus on her kits. I need to rebuild the trust lost so she can believe me and finally listen and take my advice.
She thinks that even with kits, she can run around still risking her life, but that's not how it works. Don't risk your life and risk not being able to see your kits again, invest in them and not violence. I also need time to strategize what to do next, when Tray'ju is completely out of the picture, that won't be the end of it.
The Black Lotus will continue to look for him and others like him will spring up and try to cause trouble, I'll be there from preventing something like this from happening again, but I can't do it alone. I already know Sun would be willing to help me and if I can get Hojo on board, we'll be able to accomplish quite a lot.
I tell myself I'm ready to rest, but I should've known it's not in my heart. I can tell myself that one hundred times, but my heart's desire won't change. I like the thrill.
![[Image: LeN1WVo.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/LeN1WVo.jpg)
