Thread Closed
Like... aight... lemme sit down and actually talk about this.
From what you describe, I think you're having a few problems with:
Unfortunately, the solution to these assumptions lies not in other people, but in your own mind.
To be completely blunt, it's unfair to expect people - strangers especially - to cater to these assumptions. They don't know you, they have no investment in you as a person, and they have no reason to go out of their way to combat the negative paradigm you've come up with.
Like - if you start trying to RP with someone, and as soon as you talk to them OOCly they start going on about how terrible the RP community is and how much trouble they've had and how it must be because everyone's cliquey but you're not like that, it puts immense pressure on you right off the bat! You know as soon as you're ill or tired, they're going to take that as a personal slight. It's exhausting, and it's more than most people can be reasonably expected to do.
You need to have confidence in yourself, and in other people.
You need to have confidence that the character you're playing is solid, and maybe they're not everyone's cup of tea, but you're proud of it and that's what matters. You need to have confidence that if someone else doesn't like the character, that's their choice, and not something that reflects on the quality of your stuff.
You need to have confidence that most people, most of the time, aren't malicious towards strangers; and that most people, most of the time, are fairly happy to meet new people. If they aren't, it's not due to something wrong with you or some huge community-wide malaise, but due to individual circumstances - they're sick IRL, they're distracted by their kids/pets/etc, they're tired after a long day at work, they're having the same anxieties as you.
From what you describe, I think you're having a few problems with:
- assuming "it feels bad (to not get responded to), therefore it must be bad (I must be doing something wrong, or people must hate me/my character)".
- assuming complex reasoning ("there must be something wrong with my character", "they must have decided not to talk to anyone outside their clique") behind coincidental circumstances (not being responded to) without evidence to support that reasoning.
- assuming that because something has been a certain way in the past (people not reaching out to you for RP) that it will continue to be that way until something changes drastically, and therefore that as soon as something looks not-amazing (people not responding at a big event) that it means it's going to be this way forever
Unfortunately, the solution to these assumptions lies not in other people, but in your own mind.
To be completely blunt, it's unfair to expect people - strangers especially - to cater to these assumptions. They don't know you, they have no investment in you as a person, and they have no reason to go out of their way to combat the negative paradigm you've come up with.
Like - if you start trying to RP with someone, and as soon as you talk to them OOCly they start going on about how terrible the RP community is and how much trouble they've had and how it must be because everyone's cliquey but you're not like that, it puts immense pressure on you right off the bat! You know as soon as you're ill or tired, they're going to take that as a personal slight. It's exhausting, and it's more than most people can be reasonably expected to do.
You need to have confidence in yourself, and in other people.
You need to have confidence that the character you're playing is solid, and maybe they're not everyone's cup of tea, but you're proud of it and that's what matters. You need to have confidence that if someone else doesn't like the character, that's their choice, and not something that reflects on the quality of your stuff.
You need to have confidence that most people, most of the time, aren't malicious towards strangers; and that most people, most of the time, are fairly happy to meet new people. If they aren't, it's not due to something wrong with you or some huge community-wide malaise, but due to individual circumstances - they're sick IRL, they're distracted by their kids/pets/etc, they're tired after a long day at work, they're having the same anxieties as you.
![[Image: tUzrT.png]](https://puu.sh/tUzrT.png)