Thread Closed
*lurks in*
There's already been a lot of good suggestions regarding being persistent, constant, and networking OOCly, so I've nothing really significant to add to that.
What I do have to add might not seem to be the... most helpful or hopeful thing and may even, on the surface, reinforce the "clique" image newbies are seeing. But if you take what I'm about to say as a whole instead of piecemeal, it may help.
So... here you are. Brand new, looking to find your first RP session in the game, and you walk into one of the RP hot spots. For the sake of this, we're going to go with the Quicksand because everyone knows about it. As you look around, you see a bunch of silent figures standing around alone-ish on the edges of the room who might be AFK or maybe they're non-RP'ers who just stopped in those spots randomly, or a bunch of other reasons. Either way, you have come to the conclusion (rightful or not) that you're not getting RP from them, so you home in on the group seated around a table who are actively RPing, and you start to approach...
Wait.
Stop.
Don't.
Or, at least, stop and don't approach -yet-. Don't even send a /tell yet. Watch and OOCly eavesdrop until you get a reading on the conversation -- ten lines/entries is what I suggest you should aim for as a minimum. If the conversation seems lighthearted, open, or any other situation where, if this was Real Life, it wouldn't seem rude to invite yourself into the conversation, go ahead and approach. Or send your /tell now, if you're feeling nervous.
If the conversation, however, seems deep, involved, serious, or any other situation where, if this was Real Life, it would be rude to invite yourself in... don't. Just continue to spectate if there's currently no-one else to try (and if better prospects seem to come up elsewhere, by all means go and take them instead of sitting around), maybe toss out a solo emote to indicate that you are a fellow RPer if you feel the need, but don't become upset if they don't respond, or if they emote back that while they've acknowledged your presence ICly they've no inclination to inviting you to their conversation. Enjoy the show. Maybe after a while the conversation will ease up and the overall mood will shift to something more open and inviting, and that'll be the chance to move in and attempt to engage.
Or maybe they're being silent, because the conversation has gone to another chatmode, and you have nothing to work with. Toss out a solo emote of some sort or send someone a /tell, but again don't get upset if they don't respond or they indicate that they're not open to having others join in. Don't bother waiting on this group, just move on.
In Real Life, people go out to public places for various reasons. Â Going into a restaurant and approaching/sitting down at a random table where a family, some friends, or business associates are meeting would be downright rude, whereas joining in on a conversation at the bar is typically acceptable. The same logic and courtesy should apply to in-game RP, and perhaps with a bit more sensitivity -- the game has a much smaller pool of spaces to RP in than an average Real Life town, so we have to share and sometimes make a space double-duty. One table in the Quicksand could end up being a sort of extension of the bar (especially if the bar area is already full), while another table is the more 'private' group, and the tables will switch purpose depending on day and group.
What this game does have in its favor over Real Life, though, is a much easier way to identify and contact other players even after they've left your immediate sight. Even if you've opted to not have named displayed on your screen normally, you can click on someone and get their names. If you see some people RPing and you liked what you saw but there's indications that your approach might be "unwelcome" at the time, write those names down. Keep an eye out for them and approach them later with a /tell along the lines of "Hey, I saw you RPing the other night and I was interested, but I didn't want to interrupt. Would you be interested in RPing together sometime?". The worst that would happen (beyond perhaps not getting a response at all, but that could happen for some valid reasons) is that you get informed that they're involved in a closed plot and they can't right now/in the near future. The second worst would be that you get told that it really wasn't that serious of a talk and that you could've jumped in. A bit of politeness, patience, respect for others, and striking up OOC conversations when people aren't busy can go a long way into getting you involved/connected with others than if you barge into a conversation where the reasonable IC and Real Life reaction (should they choose to acknowledge you) would be annoyance at the interruption/intrusion... which can easily feed into you feeling like you just got snubbed by a clique.Â
And, if after waiting a while, nothing seems like a good prospect... go do something else for a bit. Walk away. Don't make a snarky exiting emote, statement, or /tells, cause people remember that. Just go do something else for a while and then come back and try again later, or another day -- the people who you're currently watching/waiting for are adhering to their own schedule, and that schedule is not compatible with your own right now.Â
And always make the decision to walk away -before- you become frustrated/angry/upset. Getting that way only taints your future attempts, and feeds into the 'snubbed' feeling.
Another thing, if you're new and you feel like you keep throwing out hooks and no-one is biting... you might need to re-evaluate what it is that you're considering a hook. If you walk in and emote that you're taking a seat a distance away from anyone else and pull out a book/paperwork, or look like you're waiting for someone specific, or in general look -busy-, that can easily be interpreted as... well... you're busy and/or waiting for someone specific. You appear closed off. If I go to a cafe bakery for tea and a pastry and bring a book to read, I'm there to read and don't want to be interrupted. If I go to a cafe bakery for tea and a pastry, don't bring a book, and see someone else sitting there reading a book, I'm not going to bother them because I assume that, like me, they're there to read and wouldn't appreciate being interrupted.
TL;DR: When you go into a hotspot/event looking to make connections/find RP when you're new, take a few minutes to read the room first and then imagine that it's a Real Life restaurant. Aim for the 'bar' RPers, respect the 'sitting in a booth in the dining room' RPers. Make notes on who's RP you liked watching, and try to contact them at a later time when they're not overtly busy if they were one of the 'booth' RPers. And if prospects aren't currently looking good, go do something else for a while before you get frustrated.
*lurks away*
There's already been a lot of good suggestions regarding being persistent, constant, and networking OOCly, so I've nothing really significant to add to that.
What I do have to add might not seem to be the... most helpful or hopeful thing and may even, on the surface, reinforce the "clique" image newbies are seeing. But if you take what I'm about to say as a whole instead of piecemeal, it may help.
So... here you are. Brand new, looking to find your first RP session in the game, and you walk into one of the RP hot spots. For the sake of this, we're going to go with the Quicksand because everyone knows about it. As you look around, you see a bunch of silent figures standing around alone-ish on the edges of the room who might be AFK or maybe they're non-RP'ers who just stopped in those spots randomly, or a bunch of other reasons. Either way, you have come to the conclusion (rightful or not) that you're not getting RP from them, so you home in on the group seated around a table who are actively RPing, and you start to approach...
Wait.
Stop.
Don't.
Or, at least, stop and don't approach -yet-. Don't even send a /tell yet. Watch and OOCly eavesdrop until you get a reading on the conversation -- ten lines/entries is what I suggest you should aim for as a minimum. If the conversation seems lighthearted, open, or any other situation where, if this was Real Life, it wouldn't seem rude to invite yourself into the conversation, go ahead and approach. Or send your /tell now, if you're feeling nervous.
If the conversation, however, seems deep, involved, serious, or any other situation where, if this was Real Life, it would be rude to invite yourself in... don't. Just continue to spectate if there's currently no-one else to try (and if better prospects seem to come up elsewhere, by all means go and take them instead of sitting around), maybe toss out a solo emote to indicate that you are a fellow RPer if you feel the need, but don't become upset if they don't respond, or if they emote back that while they've acknowledged your presence ICly they've no inclination to inviting you to their conversation. Enjoy the show. Maybe after a while the conversation will ease up and the overall mood will shift to something more open and inviting, and that'll be the chance to move in and attempt to engage.
Or maybe they're being silent, because the conversation has gone to another chatmode, and you have nothing to work with. Toss out a solo emote of some sort or send someone a /tell, but again don't get upset if they don't respond or they indicate that they're not open to having others join in. Don't bother waiting on this group, just move on.
In Real Life, people go out to public places for various reasons. Â Going into a restaurant and approaching/sitting down at a random table where a family, some friends, or business associates are meeting would be downright rude, whereas joining in on a conversation at the bar is typically acceptable. The same logic and courtesy should apply to in-game RP, and perhaps with a bit more sensitivity -- the game has a much smaller pool of spaces to RP in than an average Real Life town, so we have to share and sometimes make a space double-duty. One table in the Quicksand could end up being a sort of extension of the bar (especially if the bar area is already full), while another table is the more 'private' group, and the tables will switch purpose depending on day and group.
What this game does have in its favor over Real Life, though, is a much easier way to identify and contact other players even after they've left your immediate sight. Even if you've opted to not have named displayed on your screen normally, you can click on someone and get their names. If you see some people RPing and you liked what you saw but there's indications that your approach might be "unwelcome" at the time, write those names down. Keep an eye out for them and approach them later with a /tell along the lines of "Hey, I saw you RPing the other night and I was interested, but I didn't want to interrupt. Would you be interested in RPing together sometime?". The worst that would happen (beyond perhaps not getting a response at all, but that could happen for some valid reasons) is that you get informed that they're involved in a closed plot and they can't right now/in the near future. The second worst would be that you get told that it really wasn't that serious of a talk and that you could've jumped in. A bit of politeness, patience, respect for others, and striking up OOC conversations when people aren't busy can go a long way into getting you involved/connected with others than if you barge into a conversation where the reasonable IC and Real Life reaction (should they choose to acknowledge you) would be annoyance at the interruption/intrusion... which can easily feed into you feeling like you just got snubbed by a clique.Â
And, if after waiting a while, nothing seems like a good prospect... go do something else for a bit. Walk away. Don't make a snarky exiting emote, statement, or /tells, cause people remember that. Just go do something else for a while and then come back and try again later, or another day -- the people who you're currently watching/waiting for are adhering to their own schedule, and that schedule is not compatible with your own right now.Â
And always make the decision to walk away -before- you become frustrated/angry/upset. Getting that way only taints your future attempts, and feeds into the 'snubbed' feeling.
Another thing, if you're new and you feel like you keep throwing out hooks and no-one is biting... you might need to re-evaluate what it is that you're considering a hook. If you walk in and emote that you're taking a seat a distance away from anyone else and pull out a book/paperwork, or look like you're waiting for someone specific, or in general look -busy-, that can easily be interpreted as... well... you're busy and/or waiting for someone specific. You appear closed off. If I go to a cafe bakery for tea and a pastry and bring a book to read, I'm there to read and don't want to be interrupted. If I go to a cafe bakery for tea and a pastry, don't bring a book, and see someone else sitting there reading a book, I'm not going to bother them because I assume that, like me, they're there to read and wouldn't appreciate being interrupted.
TL;DR: When you go into a hotspot/event looking to make connections/find RP when you're new, take a few minutes to read the room first and then imagine that it's a Real Life restaurant. Aim for the 'bar' RPers, respect the 'sitting in a booth in the dining room' RPers. Make notes on who's RP you liked watching, and try to contact them at a later time when they're not overtly busy if they were one of the 'booth' RPers. And if prospects aren't currently looking good, go do something else for a while before you get frustrated.
*lurks away*