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(12-18-2016, 09:16 PM)Faye Wrote: As a person who does have severe social anxiety (hi, yes, hello), I still understand that no one is obligated to approach me or respond to me and that I am not entitled to RP from anyone. I understand that I more than most people have to remind myself not to take out my frustrations and others and understand that they have their own problems and that the world does not revolve around me. I understand that every time I am unnoticed or ignored is not an intentional or malicious act, and that even when it is, I cannot and should not paint the entire community with a generality based on a few sparse interactions. I know that as a person who struggles with these things, I cannot let myself fall into a downward spiral of getting discouraged and pointing my finger at others.
In short, I have to manage, and I know that, and no one else is responsible if I fail in that. The people who take their RP to party so that they don't aggravate any conditions they might have and hurt themselves emotionally or physically, so they don't miss an RP event they would enjoy, so they don't blow up or bail on their friends? They're managing. The people who have a meltdown or fall into despair because someone does not reply to their post? They're not managing. That's the key difference here. And no, your "management" should not involve forcing anyone else to sacrifice theirs.
Just gonna repeat a thing I said earlier in this thread. It can be hard to make lasting connections, find the RP that you're looking for, and settle into your own place in the community, even without extra hurdles like social anxiety and such in your way. And I really do empathize with anyone feeling disheartened and disappointed, because we've all been there (yes, even people who presumably have "cliques" and whatnot) and because there are some valid reasons for it and problems within the community.
But blaming others and the community as a whole for the results of your own problems--even problems you can't really help like mental illness--does not help anyone. It pushes people away from you which only worsens your problem, it annoys and upsets the people around you, and it enables your issues and leaves you feeling even more negatively than before. When you have an issue like social anxiety it's very easy to take out your frustrations on others (because you obviously aren't at fault for it, but hey, someone has to take the blame, right?) so it's important to avoid doing that if you're the person suffering from it, and it's important for others not to just accept mistreatment because someone has social anxiety.
And, of course, it's useful to stop and think for a moment that maybe the people you're demonizing for not approaching you have social anxiety as well, or similar problems of their own. I think the correct way to show sensitivity to these issues is not to enable others to lash out at the community because of them. I think you can give others advice, be kind and encouraging to them and simultaneously say "hey, knock off trying to point fingers at everyone around you and take responsibility." These things aren't at odds with each other. After all, if you're feeling dissatisfied in situations like these, the only person who can make a change is you. It's not exactly helpful for anyone if people let you wallow in your own misery.
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