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(12-31-2016, 02:54 PM)Virella Wrote:(12-31-2016, 01:49 PM)Valence Wrote: You can't also know why someone isn't the social butterfly you are. Some fling their social anxiety for every reason possible in a very disingenuous manner, and a lot others actually have issues like that. Telling them to move their ass or die is not going to do much except alienating them. Sometimes people are seeing through it through a privileged lens that doesn't do justice to what it actually is for others.As someone with social phobia and actually cooping with it (because honestly, you will never get 'over it'), that is exactly what needs to be told to people: that they need to stop fucking hiding and get out there. Not everyone is out there to get you.
You ain't going to achieve jack shit in roleplay, or in real life, if you're going to be coddled constantly. The fact people bring this up and use it an excuse for people to hide behind is utterly disgusting to me, and in fact you're just enabling their social anxiety by stating this nonsense. Privileged lens? C'mon man, every person has issues. Is it harsh to say? Yes, but it is better then constantly enabling and talking their behaviour 'right'.
There's a difference in acknowledging it, and enabling it. Stop enabling social anxiety and social phobia. It's very harmful to those people and you're really not helping by letting them use it as an excuse and not a reason.
Edit: Also my excuses if this was not your intention to come across, I'm getting slightly drunk, English is not my native language, and I'm just generally sick and tired by people using any disorder as an excuse and not a reason.
People handle anxiety and disorders in different ways and unless you're a medical professional shouldn't tell them they're doing it wrong. I'll agree that the OP came in frustrated and somewhat accusatory, but she likely just needed to vent and things weren't helped by your post on the first page that came off -way- more aggressive than anyone else or was necessary.
You talked about how threads like this are damaging to community, but I feel that people chasing others away for legitimate concerns is more damaging, even if you're 'sick of hearing them'. You can just not read the threads.