As you know this is all advice, you are perfectly free to go the route you think is best. Let me start by saying that my usual default to characters and backgrounds is the K.I.S.S. Rule (keep it simple stupid<-I think someone added the last word because they needed an extra S and weren't very creative)
That being said It sounds like you made your choices based on what would be most interesting or unique. Yuuna appears to have an acute case of Main Character Syndrome, which is great for writing a novel or a tv series but honestly the same attributes you can want for a main character also tend to carry over poorly when trying to role play with others. Role Play has no true main character, you're trying to tell your story while also helping to build the stories of others and it can be wholly unpredictable how this plays out, the way you seem to present your character however would suggest the main focus be on her and would crowd out others in attempt to cater to your own character's needs, wants and desires.
Another matter I notice is the complexity of her backstory which can make her less relatable and surprisingly less interesting and that's where we come into KISS again, does it need to be this way when something can be explained this way?
You could definitely work with this and bringing back to the princess aspect you could use this as a reason for why she was chosen? Maybe that's all a princess is in her tiny country, someone trained in complex magic.
I don't know, that's all the advice I have to offer, I hope my ramblings have been reasonably useful for your character.
That being said It sounds like you made your choices based on what would be most interesting or unique. Yuuna appears to have an acute case of Main Character Syndrome, which is great for writing a novel or a tv series but honestly the same attributes you can want for a main character also tend to carry over poorly when trying to role play with others. Role Play has no true main character, you're trying to tell your story while also helping to build the stories of others and it can be wholly unpredictable how this plays out, the way you seem to present your character however would suggest the main focus be on her and would crowd out others in attempt to cater to your own character's needs, wants and desires.
Another matter I notice is the complexity of her backstory which can make her less relatable and surprisingly less interesting and that's where we come into KISS again, does it need to be this way when something can be explained this way?
Quote:Yuuna is the daughter of Alex and Luna Dreamsong, a talented weaver and aThis sounds great! why does it have to be more than that? it tells us everything we need to know, creates a sense of loss and tells us she has skill in something. Plus it creates plot bunnies for others to follow, why did her parents leave her? Why didn't she follow them right away?
talented goldsmith, they open a shop that uses both of their talents which they call Dreamsong. (please correct me on the Garlean lore as I'm hoping that I've got the lore right for this), her parents disappeared when they went to Eorzea when Yuuna had been 16 years old, it had been 5 years since the Calamity, she is now 21 and has become a very successful weaver/goldsmith herself and owner of her parents' shop. She was born an raised on a small island that is located several malms (is that right? Trying to get a good distance from the mainland) off the coast of Othard, the island is called the Kingdom of Rydian.
Quote:About this time, the Kingdom holds a ball where she is inadvertently picked as Princess, the details are still a mystery on how she was selected but after being Princess for 2 years, Rydian is prospering under her guidance. Her guardian and chosen future husband, Lord Byron, is her military commander along with Keiki Saito, who is her friend and advisor, they alert her to the Garleans making moves toward their kingdom. Her people care for her so much that they risk everything to save her life.I would look into explaining why she would be selected princess as in how her island elects a princess. Also does she need to have a future husband? seems like it was thrown in there randomly unless you planned on doing something later. Seems like you could just cut him out of the story and lose nothing especially when Keiiki is the one who warns her. If she is a princess it makes sense to smuggle the ruling class out in the event of an invasion, but does she really have to be a princess? What does it bring to her character that can't be otherwise provided?
Quote:The garleans arrive and before they can make landfall, the officials and Byron have Yuuna escape on a merchant vessel. She is disguised, however, the garleans seem to know of her escape and have one of their own board the same ship and try to poison her. Somehow she is transformed from Hyur to Au Ra, the only thing that doesn't change is her eye color. She meets up with Yugiri's fleet as they flee Doma and arrives in Ul'dah with the other refugees.This part I think would raise the most objections because it feels tossed in without rhyme or reason. If the Garleans know of her escape why not just destroy the vessel? It seems a whole lot of extra effort to smuggle someone on board a ship just to poison someone, not to mention spies and assassins are valuable in any empire and with no route of escape it's a basic suicide mission. This is what I mean by KISS, you're creating an assassin plot that is incredibly difficult to explain it's complexity and can be unraveled by tugging a thread, it's entire reason for being there seems to revolve around an explanation for making her an Au Ra, but why does she have to be an Au Ra? If you want to play an Au Ra then why not make her one from the beginning? It would definitely be less confusing for everyone.
Quote:She will be a Summoner/White Mage. The High Summoner Garb isn't mainly the Summoner attire but the royal garb that she choses to wear for royal events and such. She brings it with her to be the only reminder of her former home.
You could definitely work with this and bringing back to the princess aspect you could use this as a reason for why she was chosen? Maybe that's all a princess is in her tiny country, someone trained in complex magic.
I don't know, that's all the advice I have to offer, I hope my ramblings have been reasonably useful for your character.
