A New Breath
Journal Entry #1
Never thought of doing one of these things but for so long Miyahas been that source for me to unload my thoughts, my observations and any other sand cursed idea that found it’s way into this damned thick skull of mine. Anyhow, I saw her writing in one of these journals and asked her about it. Not about what she was writing because that would probably just lead to a pillow being tossed at my head. Yeah, yeah the damned things are soft and easy to lay one’s head upon but you ever see the pointy edges? Can take an eye out with the damned things!
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Anyway, I am rambling at this point because the waves have struckmy life in a way I didn’t see. I thought I’d always be upon the water casting my lot with crew of the Crystal Blade. Running trading routes and conducting a bit of smuggling here and there under the eyes of any Watch but no. I am still here in Limsa Lominsa staying with Miya. The thing that shakes me about this is I am not bothered. I am not concerned, I am not worried nor am I feeling…lost.
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That is what troubles me. Everything in my life finally settledand finally figured and then comes Little Miya into it. Yeah, yeah, we’ve known each other for years but most of that was through pen and parchment. Waters take me I learned the letters more to put words to her than for the actual lessons in merchant handling the Captain wished to teach me in the first place! Guess when I put this thick skull to thought about it that should have been my clue on that very day that this woman was going to shift the waters in my life. Bring a new breath into me. I should have known.
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When she found me on the pier the other day looking over aship being constructed over yonder way I was there thinking seeing a ship so close would change my mind. That I was not losing who I am just because of one woman.
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I was wrong.
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The sight of the vessel didn’t do a damned thing for my thoughtsor feelings to Miya. If anything the moment she arrived at my side my mind was set. I could not take one more sand cursed step without this woman by my side. I don’t care if I decide to hurl myself upon another ship and go seeking the Blade or find a new path to walk but nothing in me would allow me to go without Miya. I just bloody had no interest in anything without her by my side and the damned thing about all of that is it made me grin inside. Course she didn’t see it or know it.No need to let her swell that pretty head of hers. It’s bad enough she tries to steal my damned sweet buns during supper. But that’s it. My lot has been cast and it has been cast with Little Miya. Only leaves one question that continues to bang around in this cursed skull of me.
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Is she MY Little Miya because of this or does this long standingfriendship continue like before? She mention me as her only family so maybe I’m nothing more than a brother to her? Rhalgr’s balls I’ll get that answer too. I’ll be cursed by the Twelve before I let someone else find dock where I am beginning to understand I am meant to be. Just have to wonder if she wants me there or not. The idea that she may not troubles me. I can’t lie which is why I write it here for my eyes only, It would wrench something in me that I don’t think words would justify. I am knowing in my depths she means something to me but I have no real truths if I mean something to her. Miya has placed a storm inside of me and I am not even bloody sure I can survive those waters but I have to find out. I must.
At some point I have to find out the truth, don’t I?
Journal Entry #1
Never thought of doing one of these things but for so long Miyahas been that source for me to unload my thoughts, my observations and any other sand cursed idea that found it’s way into this damned thick skull of mine. Anyhow, I saw her writing in one of these journals and asked her about it. Not about what she was writing because that would probably just lead to a pillow being tossed at my head. Yeah, yeah the damned things are soft and easy to lay one’s head upon but you ever see the pointy edges? Can take an eye out with the damned things!
Â
Anyway, I am rambling at this point because the waves have struckmy life in a way I didn’t see. I thought I’d always be upon the water casting my lot with crew of the Crystal Blade. Running trading routes and conducting a bit of smuggling here and there under the eyes of any Watch but no. I am still here in Limsa Lominsa staying with Miya. The thing that shakes me about this is I am not bothered. I am not concerned, I am not worried nor am I feeling…lost.
Â
That is what troubles me. Everything in my life finally settledand finally figured and then comes Little Miya into it. Yeah, yeah, we’ve known each other for years but most of that was through pen and parchment. Waters take me I learned the letters more to put words to her than for the actual lessons in merchant handling the Captain wished to teach me in the first place! Guess when I put this thick skull to thought about it that should have been my clue on that very day that this woman was going to shift the waters in my life. Bring a new breath into me. I should have known.
Â
When she found me on the pier the other day looking over aship being constructed over yonder way I was there thinking seeing a ship so close would change my mind. That I was not losing who I am just because of one woman.
Â
I was wrong.
Â
The sight of the vessel didn’t do a damned thing for my thoughtsor feelings to Miya. If anything the moment she arrived at my side my mind was set. I could not take one more sand cursed step without this woman by my side. I don’t care if I decide to hurl myself upon another ship and go seeking the Blade or find a new path to walk but nothing in me would allow me to go without Miya. I just bloody had no interest in anything without her by my side and the damned thing about all of that is it made me grin inside. Course she didn’t see it or know it.No need to let her swell that pretty head of hers. It’s bad enough she tries to steal my damned sweet buns during supper. But that’s it. My lot has been cast and it has been cast with Little Miya. Only leaves one question that continues to bang around in this cursed skull of me.
Â
Is she MY Little Miya because of this or does this long standingfriendship continue like before? She mention me as her only family so maybe I’m nothing more than a brother to her? Rhalgr’s balls I’ll get that answer too. I’ll be cursed by the Twelve before I let someone else find dock where I am beginning to understand I am meant to be. Just have to wonder if she wants me there or not. The idea that she may not troubles me. I can’t lie which is why I write it here for my eyes only, It would wrench something in me that I don’t think words would justify. I am knowing in my depths she means something to me but I have no real truths if I mean something to her. Miya has placed a storm inside of me and I am not even bloody sure I can survive those waters but I have to find out. I must.
At some point I have to find out the truth, don’t I?
Tumblr: http://zhauric.tumblr.com/
Discord: Zhauric#0359
Ryuu Kaisoto: Mateus
Zhauric Bloodsworn (Currently Retired): Balmung
Discord: Zhauric#0359
Ryuu Kaisoto: Mateus
Zhauric Bloodsworn (Currently Retired): Balmung
