
Entry 14
Bells. Tolling bells. And thecackling laughter of a thousand hungry ravens filling the chalk-white sky.
Bells. Tolling bells.
I stood hunched against a bitter wind over a grave. My grave. Name, date, and cause of death all written plainly.Â
Cause: Sun’ra Zhawn.
The cackling birds sounded like that vile miqo’te as they fluttered.
Bells. Tolling bells. I clenchedmy jaw and gnashed my teeth violently. Even in my dreams this bastard torments me, haunts me.Â
No escape. Not in life.
A black, twisted, incorporeal shadow image of the man rose up beside me. It snickered as it began pissing black vapor onto his gave.
Not in death.
No way out and the walls were closing in; the fog wall closing in; and within those white walls were lurking a thousand blades waiting to slice me to ribbons.
Bells. Tolling bells.
A black raven landed upon the tombstone. It’s onyx eyes peered into my soul as it opened its mouth. A flap of it’s winds stopped the wall’s advance. A second made the mist retreat. A third flap and the date of death upon the stone vanished.
Another flap. It rose high and circled overhead.
The thing cawed wickedly as the fog wall began to advance once more now that the raven had departed.
I knew, somehow, that if he but held out my hand, the bird would light upon it and I would be safe.
Safe.
Yet, despite this knowledge, why did this bird make me so afraid?
Bells. Tolling bells. And a raven’s cackling laughter.
And then from the hellish landscape I woke. Once more in the world of the living. The world that is slow crushing my skull beneath its boot as I flail, trying to stay strong. Stay alive. I feel like I am fighting against the whole world.
I'm not sure how I can go on. How I can overcome all this. The bottle does nothing. All there is is violence, abuse, and mockery. Who can I trust anymore now that I can't even feel confident in my own Free Company leader? Who has my back?
I'm trying to drink myself to sleep, kill the dreams. But I feel like I'm being watched. All the damn time. Yet whenever I look out into those shadow drenched streets, all I see is darkness, whores, and a raven.Â
Hells take Sun'ra for doing this to me. For taking my arm from me. For imprisoning me. For tormenting me as he does now. Damn him!
Bells. Tolling bells. And thecackling laughter of a thousand hungry ravens filling the chalk-white sky.
Bells. Tolling bells.
I stood hunched against a bitter wind over a grave. My grave. Name, date, and cause of death all written plainly.Â
Cause: Sun’ra Zhawn.
The cackling birds sounded like that vile miqo’te as they fluttered.
Bells. Tolling bells. I clenchedmy jaw and gnashed my teeth violently. Even in my dreams this bastard torments me, haunts me.Â
No escape. Not in life.
A black, twisted, incorporeal shadow image of the man rose up beside me. It snickered as it began pissing black vapor onto his gave.
Not in death.
No way out and the walls were closing in; the fog wall closing in; and within those white walls were lurking a thousand blades waiting to slice me to ribbons.
Bells. Tolling bells.
A black raven landed upon the tombstone. It’s onyx eyes peered into my soul as it opened its mouth. A flap of it’s winds stopped the wall’s advance. A second made the mist retreat. A third flap and the date of death upon the stone vanished.
Another flap. It rose high and circled overhead.
The thing cawed wickedly as the fog wall began to advance once more now that the raven had departed.
I knew, somehow, that if he but held out my hand, the bird would light upon it and I would be safe.
Safe.
Yet, despite this knowledge, why did this bird make me so afraid?
Bells. Tolling bells. And a raven’s cackling laughter.
And then from the hellish landscape I woke. Once more in the world of the living. The world that is slow crushing my skull beneath its boot as I flail, trying to stay strong. Stay alive. I feel like I am fighting against the whole world.
I'm not sure how I can go on. How I can overcome all this. The bottle does nothing. All there is is violence, abuse, and mockery. Who can I trust anymore now that I can't even feel confident in my own Free Company leader? Who has my back?
I'm trying to drink myself to sleep, kill the dreams. But I feel like I'm being watched. All the damn time. Yet whenever I look out into those shadow drenched streets, all I see is darkness, whores, and a raven.Â
Hells take Sun'ra for doing this to me. For taking my arm from me. For imprisoning me. For tormenting me as he does now. Damn him!