(10-04-2017, 09:20 AM)Mermaid Wrote: I feel like this must have been discussed here before but I wasn't able to find an existing thread. Sorry if I've unwittingly created a thread on a commonly discussed topic!I think 'maybe this scene isn't for me' is a personalized thing. Your red flags might be different from mine, so it's not a blanket statement that applies to everything.
What are some red flags for you when it comes to role play you're involved in or people you're role playing with? Things that make you think things like "maybe I shouldn't RP with this person" or "maybe this scene isn't for me". How do you deal with it?
I feel like I should be offering my own opinions and experiences to start this thread off but, as with most topics like this, some experiences are as recent as the past month or two and I worry about people involved finding these forums.
Red flags for ME, as based on previous encounters (from which I have learned, thank gawd) are things like:
Fangirling. To a degree this is okay, but when it gets to the point that the person is 'jokingly' saying that they're sad you're RPing with someone else and not them, usually they're legit jealous or annoyed about it, and eventually the behaviour turns into serious 'you can't RP with them, RP with me' behaviour.
Setting up IC drama. I personally almost never pre-plan RPs. I like spontaneity more than planned situations, but sometimes planning things is required. It becomes an issue when the other person says things like, "Omg it's so juicy, I love it!" Basically when it becomes gossip.
Isolation. I had one person isolate me for four years (when I was a lot younger and more susceptible. It hasn't happened since). My IRL life was fine, because I was able to separate the two. Basically, this person was telling me very passive-aggressive 'bad things' about every other person that I RPed with (absolutely everyone), and I learned later that she was also badmouthing me (again, in a subtle way so it came across as logical, level-minded truth, not insane bitchfest nonsense) to everyone else, so I ended up only RPing with her, every day, all day, for two years (the next two get complicated and aren't required for this example). The community was ruined for me because I took her word for it instead of hearing both sides, and I didn't (and don't) like to gossip and ask people about it anyway, so I allowed her to isolate me. Never agaiinnnn!
Those are the main red flags for me. There are other smaller ones, but I can't think of them at the moment. I've learned to spot them and change my 'behaviour' to avoid them, thankfully. Haven't had online drama for about five years.
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