A Bond Forming (Journal #6)
I have to say things are, well, different in this house now with Nassa around. She has been staying with us for some weeks to this point. She began off quiet and trying to keep to herself for the most. One day, Kai and I tried to get Nassa to open more about what events brought her to Ul'dah of all places. Okay, I say that like Ul'dah is not often crowded with merchants seeking to fatten their purses and a mixture bowl of a different beings Maybe it’s because Kai and I are looking to move on and take our steps upon the world outside these walls together.
Anyway, Nassa was reluctant for some time but finally after breaking our fast she spoke while gazing at the flames in the cook pit. It’s like she lost herself in those flames and let herself finally speak like a dam had broken and it was time to let everything flow freely.
The tale she wove of this Taishan, her husband and a member of the Malqir tribe left both Kai and I silent. Part of me longed to meet this man who called her ‘My Little Bird’. A man who found her bleeding in the snows after she was cast out of her own tribe among the Dotharl tribe. He had taken her back to his people, watched over her and had her nursed back to health. When she spoke I could see the smile on her lips and I cannot lie. It was a beautiful smile on her lips and I found myself immediately wanting to do what I can to help it stay there.
Unfortunately, the deeper she dove into that tale the more that smile began to drift away. Acceptance wasn’t coming easy among Taishan’s tribe but due to Taishan’s standing no harm came to Nassa in the slightest. True she was not held in high regard and never truly home among them but she apparently did not care because she had a home right there with Taishan. He loved her like no other had done in her life. Where in the past she was met with scorn, with him she was met kindness. Where she was met with the wrath of a tongue in the past, with him she was caressed by gentle words. Where in the past she was met with abandonment, with him she was given security.
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All in all the way she spoke of their marriage and the love they shared made me envious of the man for having something I never was able to grasp in such a way. A life tied to a life. Her love was all in the words she shared, the expressions she displayed and in her eyes. I won’t lie, I stole many glances at Kai during this time. I don’t know if she noticed or not or if she even had any idea of the thoughts that trampled through my mind during this reclaiming of the past but one day she will. On that I swear on my blood because Nassa’s story struck me in a damned way I don’t think I’ll bother putting to words.
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Back to the little lady, Nassa. This Taishan’s tribe tried to keep to their ways when necessary but finally sought to learn more of the trading with various sources which is what led to Nassa being here with us. Taishan was sent to commence this bartering and learn more for their tribe to adapt to these new ways and world around them. Of course he couldn’t leave Nassa behind knowing that her standing with the tribe held not stature without him so she joined him aboard the vessel that took them to Limsa Lominsa and from there they undertook their travels with a trading caravan.
This is where the pain of this damned cursed world of ours returned to plague Nassa and I could see the moment the story turned by just reading her expression. Kai had sensed it too and before I knew it we both had laid a hand upon her. I took hold of Nassa’s upper arm to show her my support while Kai had reached over and squeezed the little one’s thigh. The tension in Nassa’s entire body made me dread what words would soon follow and I found myself bracing my damned self for would come from those lips.
Our worries were proven true when she had this blank expression and tears rolled down her cheeks. The words she gave us made me grit my teeth in frustration and anger. The loss, the pain, the betrayal. I could see out the corner of my eye Kai was no different for she had suffered such pains in her life as well and that only fueled my anger that much more. We heard the tale of the caravan being overran by raiders and how Taishan stood valiantly making one of his guards drag her away screaming and fighting to stay with him while he allowed his spear to dance and hold any pursuit at bay for the guard and Nassa to get away. She told us how she tried to continually get away from the guard and return to Taishan’s side and how he prevented it every single time making her feel helpless to stand by the one figure that ever loved her. The one man that ever stood by her and for her.
Yeah before Kai and I knew it we both were holding her and felt her body shake with the sobs that escaped. And you know what? You’d think that’d be it but nope. The damned guard left her! That’s right the fucking sand cuddled idiot left her saying she was not his problem and no Malqir so he abandoned her to return home. I swear on my blood when she spoke of this I was vowing in my head to hunt this one down and find out how many ways I could make that Twelve cursed fool bleed and suffer like I know she did. It made memories of my own refugee caravan finding Ul'dah and all I endured as a child. Granted it led me to my Kai so there was a touch of the sun in all of my journey that I will always be thankful for.
Soon her words became more silent and we sat with her trying to comfort her in our ways and reassure her that she is safe with us. That she will have a home with us for as long as she seeks it. I found I swore on my blood to always be there for her if she needed me and Kai took echoed my words. I think even in that moment of pain and grief a bond was formed between the three of us. One not easily broken and one that made, I don’t know, a new sort of family right there under our roof. Am I seeing too much into it? No, I don’t really think so. Granted my love often calls me a thick=headed fool so what do I know, right?
Remembering all this isn’t easy on me cause I don’t like seeing Nassa hurt. In such a short time that little lady has found a home with us and I have found myself caring about her well being and it is obvious Kai felt the same or Nassa wouldn’t even be here living with us. She’s a part of us now and I don’t think I want that to go away.
But what do we do about it becomes the question, right?
Anyway, until next time.
I have to say things are, well, different in this house now with Nassa around. She has been staying with us for some weeks to this point. She began off quiet and trying to keep to herself for the most. One day, Kai and I tried to get Nassa to open more about what events brought her to Ul'dah of all places. Okay, I say that like Ul'dah is not often crowded with merchants seeking to fatten their purses and a mixture bowl of a different beings Maybe it’s because Kai and I are looking to move on and take our steps upon the world outside these walls together.
Anyway, Nassa was reluctant for some time but finally after breaking our fast she spoke while gazing at the flames in the cook pit. It’s like she lost herself in those flames and let herself finally speak like a dam had broken and it was time to let everything flow freely.
The tale she wove of this Taishan, her husband and a member of the Malqir tribe left both Kai and I silent. Part of me longed to meet this man who called her ‘My Little Bird’. A man who found her bleeding in the snows after she was cast out of her own tribe among the Dotharl tribe. He had taken her back to his people, watched over her and had her nursed back to health. When she spoke I could see the smile on her lips and I cannot lie. It was a beautiful smile on her lips and I found myself immediately wanting to do what I can to help it stay there.
Unfortunately, the deeper she dove into that tale the more that smile began to drift away. Acceptance wasn’t coming easy among Taishan’s tribe but due to Taishan’s standing no harm came to Nassa in the slightest. True she was not held in high regard and never truly home among them but she apparently did not care because she had a home right there with Taishan. He loved her like no other had done in her life. Where in the past she was met with scorn, with him she was met kindness. Where she was met with the wrath of a tongue in the past, with him she was caressed by gentle words. Where in the past she was met with abandonment, with him she was given security.
Â
All in all the way she spoke of their marriage and the love they shared made me envious of the man for having something I never was able to grasp in such a way. A life tied to a life. Her love was all in the words she shared, the expressions she displayed and in her eyes. I won’t lie, I stole many glances at Kai during this time. I don’t know if she noticed or not or if she even had any idea of the thoughts that trampled through my mind during this reclaiming of the past but one day she will. On that I swear on my blood because Nassa’s story struck me in a damned way I don’t think I’ll bother putting to words.
Â
Back to the little lady, Nassa. This Taishan’s tribe tried to keep to their ways when necessary but finally sought to learn more of the trading with various sources which is what led to Nassa being here with us. Taishan was sent to commence this bartering and learn more for their tribe to adapt to these new ways and world around them. Of course he couldn’t leave Nassa behind knowing that her standing with the tribe held not stature without him so she joined him aboard the vessel that took them to Limsa Lominsa and from there they undertook their travels with a trading caravan.
This is where the pain of this damned cursed world of ours returned to plague Nassa and I could see the moment the story turned by just reading her expression. Kai had sensed it too and before I knew it we both had laid a hand upon her. I took hold of Nassa’s upper arm to show her my support while Kai had reached over and squeezed the little one’s thigh. The tension in Nassa’s entire body made me dread what words would soon follow and I found myself bracing my damned self for would come from those lips.
Our worries were proven true when she had this blank expression and tears rolled down her cheeks. The words she gave us made me grit my teeth in frustration and anger. The loss, the pain, the betrayal. I could see out the corner of my eye Kai was no different for she had suffered such pains in her life as well and that only fueled my anger that much more. We heard the tale of the caravan being overran by raiders and how Taishan stood valiantly making one of his guards drag her away screaming and fighting to stay with him while he allowed his spear to dance and hold any pursuit at bay for the guard and Nassa to get away. She told us how she tried to continually get away from the guard and return to Taishan’s side and how he prevented it every single time making her feel helpless to stand by the one figure that ever loved her. The one man that ever stood by her and for her.
Yeah before Kai and I knew it we both were holding her and felt her body shake with the sobs that escaped. And you know what? You’d think that’d be it but nope. The damned guard left her! That’s right the fucking sand cuddled idiot left her saying she was not his problem and no Malqir so he abandoned her to return home. I swear on my blood when she spoke of this I was vowing in my head to hunt this one down and find out how many ways I could make that Twelve cursed fool bleed and suffer like I know she did. It made memories of my own refugee caravan finding Ul'dah and all I endured as a child. Granted it led me to my Kai so there was a touch of the sun in all of my journey that I will always be thankful for.
Soon her words became more silent and we sat with her trying to comfort her in our ways and reassure her that she is safe with us. That she will have a home with us for as long as she seeks it. I found I swore on my blood to always be there for her if she needed me and Kai took echoed my words. I think even in that moment of pain and grief a bond was formed between the three of us. One not easily broken and one that made, I don’t know, a new sort of family right there under our roof. Am I seeing too much into it? No, I don’t really think so. Granted my love often calls me a thick=headed fool so what do I know, right?
Remembering all this isn’t easy on me cause I don’t like seeing Nassa hurt. In such a short time that little lady has found a home with us and I have found myself caring about her well being and it is obvious Kai felt the same or Nassa wouldn’t even be here living with us. She’s a part of us now and I don’t think I want that to go away.
But what do we do about it becomes the question, right?
Anyway, until next time.
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Discord: Zhauric#0359
Ryuu Kaisoto: Mateus
Zhauric Bloodsworn (Currently Retired): Balmung
Discord: Zhauric#0359
Ryuu Kaisoto: Mateus
Zhauric Bloodsworn (Currently Retired): Balmung
