Nabi pulled her wool cloak in tighter. The fog had been so thick throughout the entire morning and afternoon, she hadn’t seen a single shaft of sunlight break through. It had made her all the more nervous, and she didn’t know if she shivered from the anxiety or the cool mist that was seeping in through her clothes.
“Elam has instructed me to extend to you a different sort of 'offer', if it could be called such. He wishes for me to bring you along to the fighting pits in a few suns time, for Anchor's next fight."
As Ghoa’s words drifted into her thoughts, Nabi gave a sidelong glance to the Xaela who sat in the same carriage as she did. The woman gave her a reassuring smile when their eyes met, but it did little to calm her quivering stomach. It was Ghoa who had relayed the message of this invitation, after she had admitted to Nabi about working for Elam for the last many moons. That truth had hurt; Nabi was ready to flee from that meeting, shaken by the knowledge of the woman’s betrayal. The beautiful and worldly woman that Nabi had long admired had been working for the man who had orchestrated her worst nightmare.
And yet, here she was, drawing at least some measure of comfort from the same woman’s presence. Was it her belated forthrightness? Or her willingness to help her? Her ability to help Anchor? The last had at least held Nabi at bay, preventing her from leaving as soon as the truth was revealed. But as they continued to talk, Nabi could see that Ghoa’s intentions were earnest. She saw regret and compassion in the pale silver eyes of the other Xaela.
At least, Nabi had to believe she did. Ghoa was her chance. It was through Ghoa that she was going to see Anchor, even if it was just to watch him fight for his life. Elam had wished her to come and watch, and used Ghoa to bring her.
"I'm certain that no small part of the reason is to cause you pain by watching it. You have vexed him quite a lot. He also mentioned that should Anchor win his fight, he is considering allowing you to see him. Not as a measure of goodwill, of course. Rather, I feel he intends to use the opportunity to test Anchor's resolve."
Nabi tucked her hands into the folds of her cloak, fingers lightly rubbing over her wrist. There hung her silver and gold woven bracelet but with a small bauble attached to it. Her fingers glided over the ornament, lightly rubbing it as it rolled beneath her touch.
She had accepted the invitation, of course. How could she not? This was a chance to see with her own eyes that Anchor still lived. And if she was able to see him, get close enough…
Nabi glanced outside the small window of the carriage. Ghoa had prepared her for what to expect, at least to some degree. That the Xaela was invited to the match by another “sponsorâ€, a Doman lord by the name of Hikomoro Ishiku. He had sent a caravan and six armed escorts to meet Ghoa at the docks of Yanxia, and to bring her and Nabi to the mountain where the matches were held. None of the guards gave a second glance to the two petite au ra. They were there to protect the two guests of their master.
Ghoa had said that this Hikomoro was one of the sponsors of these fighting pits. Just like Elam Grave. Nabi could only guess how the man accumulated his power and wealth. It made her shiver again.
"I've not heard someone more set on walking themselves into foolish, needlessly dangerous situations before."
Tserende’s disapproving voice and gaze were still so clear in her memory. He had opposed her decision to accept Ghoa and Elam’s invitation. Of course he would. He only worried for her safety. He had advised her against trying anything impulsive to help Anchor, no matter how difficult it was for her to do nothing.
When she had confessed to both he and Shael that she had offered to surrender herself to Elam, in exchange for Anchor’s freedom, his usually cordial demeanor shifted to something more sharp, his eyes icy.
"You did not think that we would suffer for your brash, arrogant, and uninformed decision if it worked as you had hoped? Do we matter that little to you, or do you believe that you matter so little to us?"
Those words still panged her. He and Shael had been so angry at the revelation. Nabi could still feel the phantom tingle on her cheek at the slap that had come from Shael. Now she realized that her decision was very much like what was bestowed onto herself. No choice was given, no warning, just someone else giving themselves up regardless of danger, for another’s sake.
She couldn’t live with it, how did she expect the same of Tserende and Shael?
"He told me to tell you he was dead. He doesn't want you thinking about him. Or languishing about it. He doesn't care."
Shael had found Anchor and had even spoken to him. She shared the fact that his life hung in the balance from match to match in the fighting pits, and even relayed to Nabi what he had said. Her warning to Nabi was her attempt at trying to give the woman some comfort in the way of distancing herself from the person who caused her so much worry.
But Nabi knew. Even if she had only stayed with the man for less than a moon, even if the circumstances of their shared time was forced and under duress, she knew those weren’t the true intent of his words.
The caravan jerked to one side to draw her attention back to the outside. Looming before them was an imposing view of a mountain that was growing ever in size the closer they approached. With one final turn of the narrow road, a dark yawning cave opened up in front of them. Nabi could see people meandering in, and as Ghoa had warned her, there were guards at the entrance checking each attendee. Even as their caravan slowly came to a stop and one of the guards opened the door to allow the two Xaelas to exit, Nabi’s eyes went to the gaping maw of a cave at the base of the mountain. Others were clamoring to get in, but the sight chilled Nabi to the bone.
This was where Elam Grave had thrown Anchor into, to fight for his life. This was where men like Grave did as they wished.
"The fighting could get very intense. There is... no guarantee that Anchor will even survive it. You need to steel yourself for this, whatever the outcome. Even if he should fall, there's no reason either or both of us should follow right on his heels by making a foolish mistake."
As her feet touched the ground, Nabi put one hand upon her stomach, trying to calm her nerves. She had chosen to come here. Against the advice of those more careful and wise, against the wishes of those who wanted to keep her from harm.
But she could not stay safely tucked away. Not while someone else suffered in her stead.
The guards led them to the mouth of the entrance, where another guard motioned her to lift her arms, while his hands patted and groped her to make certain no weapons were hidden. Nabi wasn’t sure how she did not tremble, but they let her pass after the search, just as they did with Ghoa. Then a cold wind brushed past them all, wailing into the dark hollow in front of them.
Nabi stood still, her courage threatening to falter, until Ghoa look her hand and gently led her in.
“Listen only to what your instincts tell you is right, not the words of those looking to protect you, however well-meaning they are.†Ghoa’s earlier advice echoed distantly in Nabi’s ears. “Don't allow yourself to become a spectator to your own life.â€
She had chosen to come. She had failed before in saving him. She couldn’t fail again.
“Does he matter to you that much...?"
Nabi could not answer Shael when she had asked that. Only tears came forth. Despair and desperation had held her thoughts hostage then. Now that she was standing here, dread and uncertainty weighing every step, she could hear Anchor’s voice. He would be furious if he knew.
"You got ones like you. That go sniffin', and diggin', and explorin' them darker corners. And then you got the one's that were bred there. You ain't see the true piss of this world. Its people. You's hardly even had a taste. You saw a peek in from the muddy window."
He had warned her. It seemed so long ago now. She had taken his words to heart; she thought she would follow on her promise to exercise caution.
"Ya said you wasn't to make anymore trouble,†his raspy voice flitted by her ear, the last rational voice trying to stop her. It was tinged with torment.
I am sorry. Nabi wanted to tell him. I am about to break that promise.
Nabi followed Ghoa into the dark belly of the mountain, toward the distant roars and the cheers that was rumbling forth and starting to vibrate through the cavern walls.
“Elam has instructed me to extend to you a different sort of 'offer', if it could be called such. He wishes for me to bring you along to the fighting pits in a few suns time, for Anchor's next fight."
As Ghoa’s words drifted into her thoughts, Nabi gave a sidelong glance to the Xaela who sat in the same carriage as she did. The woman gave her a reassuring smile when their eyes met, but it did little to calm her quivering stomach. It was Ghoa who had relayed the message of this invitation, after she had admitted to Nabi about working for Elam for the last many moons. That truth had hurt; Nabi was ready to flee from that meeting, shaken by the knowledge of the woman’s betrayal. The beautiful and worldly woman that Nabi had long admired had been working for the man who had orchestrated her worst nightmare.
And yet, here she was, drawing at least some measure of comfort from the same woman’s presence. Was it her belated forthrightness? Or her willingness to help her? Her ability to help Anchor? The last had at least held Nabi at bay, preventing her from leaving as soon as the truth was revealed. But as they continued to talk, Nabi could see that Ghoa’s intentions were earnest. She saw regret and compassion in the pale silver eyes of the other Xaela.
At least, Nabi had to believe she did. Ghoa was her chance. It was through Ghoa that she was going to see Anchor, even if it was just to watch him fight for his life. Elam had wished her to come and watch, and used Ghoa to bring her.
"I'm certain that no small part of the reason is to cause you pain by watching it. You have vexed him quite a lot. He also mentioned that should Anchor win his fight, he is considering allowing you to see him. Not as a measure of goodwill, of course. Rather, I feel he intends to use the opportunity to test Anchor's resolve."
Nabi tucked her hands into the folds of her cloak, fingers lightly rubbing over her wrist. There hung her silver and gold woven bracelet but with a small bauble attached to it. Her fingers glided over the ornament, lightly rubbing it as it rolled beneath her touch.
She had accepted the invitation, of course. How could she not? This was a chance to see with her own eyes that Anchor still lived. And if she was able to see him, get close enough…
Nabi glanced outside the small window of the carriage. Ghoa had prepared her for what to expect, at least to some degree. That the Xaela was invited to the match by another “sponsorâ€, a Doman lord by the name of Hikomoro Ishiku. He had sent a caravan and six armed escorts to meet Ghoa at the docks of Yanxia, and to bring her and Nabi to the mountain where the matches were held. None of the guards gave a second glance to the two petite au ra. They were there to protect the two guests of their master.
Ghoa had said that this Hikomoro was one of the sponsors of these fighting pits. Just like Elam Grave. Nabi could only guess how the man accumulated his power and wealth. It made her shiver again.
"I've not heard someone more set on walking themselves into foolish, needlessly dangerous situations before."
Tserende’s disapproving voice and gaze were still so clear in her memory. He had opposed her decision to accept Ghoa and Elam’s invitation. Of course he would. He only worried for her safety. He had advised her against trying anything impulsive to help Anchor, no matter how difficult it was for her to do nothing.
When she had confessed to both he and Shael that she had offered to surrender herself to Elam, in exchange for Anchor’s freedom, his usually cordial demeanor shifted to something more sharp, his eyes icy.
"You did not think that we would suffer for your brash, arrogant, and uninformed decision if it worked as you had hoped? Do we matter that little to you, or do you believe that you matter so little to us?"
Those words still panged her. He and Shael had been so angry at the revelation. Nabi could still feel the phantom tingle on her cheek at the slap that had come from Shael. Now she realized that her decision was very much like what was bestowed onto herself. No choice was given, no warning, just someone else giving themselves up regardless of danger, for another’s sake.
She couldn’t live with it, how did she expect the same of Tserende and Shael?
"He told me to tell you he was dead. He doesn't want you thinking about him. Or languishing about it. He doesn't care."
Shael had found Anchor and had even spoken to him. She shared the fact that his life hung in the balance from match to match in the fighting pits, and even relayed to Nabi what he had said. Her warning to Nabi was her attempt at trying to give the woman some comfort in the way of distancing herself from the person who caused her so much worry.
But Nabi knew. Even if she had only stayed with the man for less than a moon, even if the circumstances of their shared time was forced and under duress, she knew those weren’t the true intent of his words.
The caravan jerked to one side to draw her attention back to the outside. Looming before them was an imposing view of a mountain that was growing ever in size the closer they approached. With one final turn of the narrow road, a dark yawning cave opened up in front of them. Nabi could see people meandering in, and as Ghoa had warned her, there were guards at the entrance checking each attendee. Even as their caravan slowly came to a stop and one of the guards opened the door to allow the two Xaelas to exit, Nabi’s eyes went to the gaping maw of a cave at the base of the mountain. Others were clamoring to get in, but the sight chilled Nabi to the bone.
This was where Elam Grave had thrown Anchor into, to fight for his life. This was where men like Grave did as they wished.
"The fighting could get very intense. There is... no guarantee that Anchor will even survive it. You need to steel yourself for this, whatever the outcome. Even if he should fall, there's no reason either or both of us should follow right on his heels by making a foolish mistake."
As her feet touched the ground, Nabi put one hand upon her stomach, trying to calm her nerves. She had chosen to come here. Against the advice of those more careful and wise, against the wishes of those who wanted to keep her from harm.
But she could not stay safely tucked away. Not while someone else suffered in her stead.
The guards led them to the mouth of the entrance, where another guard motioned her to lift her arms, while his hands patted and groped her to make certain no weapons were hidden. Nabi wasn’t sure how she did not tremble, but they let her pass after the search, just as they did with Ghoa. Then a cold wind brushed past them all, wailing into the dark hollow in front of them.
Nabi stood still, her courage threatening to falter, until Ghoa look her hand and gently led her in.
“Listen only to what your instincts tell you is right, not the words of those looking to protect you, however well-meaning they are.†Ghoa’s earlier advice echoed distantly in Nabi’s ears. “Don't allow yourself to become a spectator to your own life.â€
She had chosen to come. She had failed before in saving him. She couldn’t fail again.
“Does he matter to you that much...?"
Nabi could not answer Shael when she had asked that. Only tears came forth. Despair and desperation had held her thoughts hostage then. Now that she was standing here, dread and uncertainty weighing every step, she could hear Anchor’s voice. He would be furious if he knew.
"You got ones like you. That go sniffin', and diggin', and explorin' them darker corners. And then you got the one's that were bred there. You ain't see the true piss of this world. Its people. You's hardly even had a taste. You saw a peek in from the muddy window."
He had warned her. It seemed so long ago now. She had taken his words to heart; she thought she would follow on her promise to exercise caution.
"Ya said you wasn't to make anymore trouble,†his raspy voice flitted by her ear, the last rational voice trying to stop her. It was tinged with torment.
I am sorry. Nabi wanted to tell him. I am about to break that promise.
Nabi followed Ghoa into the dark belly of the mountain, toward the distant roars and the cheers that was rumbling forth and starting to vibrate through the cavern walls.
