With the proviso that I'm not a master of lalafell lore, this generally looks fine, but there's some things I think you might want to consider:
- You mention moving to Gridania. Gridanians in general tend to be opposed to outsiders, and the Black Shroud (especially pre-Calamity) is rife with elementals, treants, and other creatures that tend to kill those who haven't "gotten right with nature," so to speak. Angering the wood elementals accrues what's called "woodsin" (and they're notoriously easy to anger by outsiders), and those who don't cleanse themselves of that find the forest exceedingly deadly. So, the question to consider is, how did you avoid those dire fates?
- You're originally from Ala Mhigo. Ala Mhigo and Gridania have a largely poor relationship due to the Autumn War of about 100 years ago. That means you probably start out marked with woodsin, making the above concern even more salient. (As it was put on another thread, 100 years is nothing to a forest.) Have you considered being from somewhere else?
- If I'm reading your story correctly, you were at the Battle of Carteneau, but it's not clear to me how you didn't get incinerated or time warped. Did you retreat with the rest of the Grand Company regulars before the time warp (for those playing at home, this is confirmed in ARR's main scenario quest around level 17ish)?
- Narratively, I'm not sure I see why your family would move from Ala Mhigo to Ul'dah, then move again to Gridania, then stay while your father moved back to Ul'dah. Travel in Eorzea isn't for the faint of heart and is also quite costly, so all that movement seems a little odd, and I'm not sure what it establishes in the story. I see why the move from Ul'dah to Gridania happens in the story's arc, but what I'm not seeing is what it establishes about the character (and how what it brings to the table narratively outweighs the need to explain all that travel).
The Freelance Wizard
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Quality RP at low, low prices!
((about me | about L'yhta Mahre | L'yhta's desk | about Mysterium, the Ivory Tower: a heavy RP society of mages))
