The others have done a great job offering ways to resolve walkup anxiety--which I've read, but I thought I would share my own frustration and anxiety:
As someone who did work on one forum I owned, which was less "roleplaying" and more "long novel literary collaborative writing with only one other user", RP in other games has often left a bitter taste in my mouth. I do OOC a lot less here than I did in those other games, which does work out better for me, but I think that, in general, the "brevity" or quickness of individual /say replies in a lot of game RP doesn't help me.
Because of having to keep the pace for other people and being a relatively slow typist, I am afraid to make the long, descriptive, figurative posts that were so characteristic of my former writing. For one thing, I had the reputation of being a "show-off"(I'll freely admit that), and, for another, the RP goes by so fast that I can't feel the sensory details I rely on. So it comes off as stilted, and I stop. Crowded areas are very distracting to me, but planning everything is something some people decry as inorganic.
I still roleplay on this game, but with a constantly nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I am not living up to my own very high self-standard. For whatever reason, perhaps lack of practice or a change in emotional state, I have completely lost the ability to write except at a relatively basic, nondetailed, technical level, which outright infuriates me. I would go back into practice, but I have no reason to write, and even if I were to post things here, I would have to disallow input, because they may not have anything to do with the world at large, and I don't really want others reading my work until I can get my "power" back, if I knew how.
It's a vicious cycle, and it upsets me, because I know I can do better work than what most people see.
As someone who did work on one forum I owned, which was less "roleplaying" and more "long novel literary collaborative writing with only one other user", RP in other games has often left a bitter taste in my mouth. I do OOC a lot less here than I did in those other games, which does work out better for me, but I think that, in general, the "brevity" or quickness of individual /say replies in a lot of game RP doesn't help me.
Because of having to keep the pace for other people and being a relatively slow typist, I am afraid to make the long, descriptive, figurative posts that were so characteristic of my former writing. For one thing, I had the reputation of being a "show-off"(I'll freely admit that), and, for another, the RP goes by so fast that I can't feel the sensory details I rely on. So it comes off as stilted, and I stop. Crowded areas are very distracting to me, but planning everything is something some people decry as inorganic.
I still roleplay on this game, but with a constantly nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I am not living up to my own very high self-standard. For whatever reason, perhaps lack of practice or a change in emotional state, I have completely lost the ability to write except at a relatively basic, nondetailed, technical level, which outright infuriates me. I would go back into practice, but I have no reason to write, and even if I were to post things here, I would have to disallow input, because they may not have anything to do with the world at large, and I don't really want others reading my work until I can get my "power" back, if I knew how.
It's a vicious cycle, and it upsets me, because I know I can do better work than what most people see.
