RP Etiquette
Different groups have different rules for what they consider acceptable RP, but I’m going to try and hit a few guide marks that I think most people would agree on.
Cooperative Story Telling
I mentioned this in my post explaining RP and what it is, but it bears repeating.  Role playing is a shared experience.  You want to have fun, and other players do too.  It’s important to read the moods of other characters and try to build a story together.  It’s difficult to explain how this works as it’s more of an art than a science, but when people get in tune with each other and tell a story that everyone loves, it’s a unique experience.
A good rule of thumb when RPing is to ask yourself, “How would I feel if some other player did this to me?† Imagine you are role-playing in a bar with a good friend, telling him an in-character story about getting ambushed by kobolds and losing your money.  Another player in the bar jumps in saying, “Anyone who would lose a fight to kobolds is a coward, doesn’t know how to handle a weapon, or both!â€
Why did the stranger say that in the bar?  Obviously he wants to role play with you.  He’s picking a fight in character.  How will you react?  The best reaction will build more tension in the scene and deepen the interaction between your characters.  Consider these reactions:
“A coward, am I?† Lum Delume pulls a dagger and throws it at the stranger’s head.
“A coward, am I?† Lum Delume walks directly up to the stranger, staring him down.
Lum Delume jumps, startled, freezing awkwardly before slumping her shoulders forward, a look of defeat on her face.  “A coward, am I?  Yes, I suppose that’s true…â€
“A coward, am I?  You didn’t see how many were there.  It was impossible for me to escape!† ((I’m not a coward, the GM rolled a die and I got a really bad result.  It’s just the way it happened.  I couldn’t help it!))
In the first post, Lum has immediately escalated the situation into deadly violence.  Only a complete psychopath would act this way, and chances are the stranger in the bar is already ignoring you.  If you had been the one to call out another player in the bar, would you expect them to turn around and attempt to murder you?  Even really tough, violent individuals wouldn’t respond this way.
The second post is a good reaction for a tough character.  You’re showing that you’re not a coward and giving the stranger a chance to react.  Maybe he’ll jump up and stare you down, forcing your friends to defuse the situation.  Maybe the stranger will back off, or maybe the stranger will laugh.  (“This one’s got spunk!  Lost yer money, did yer?  Let me buy yer a drink!â€)  You don’t know what’s going to happen, but that’s the fun of it.  You’re giving the other player a chance to RP and show their character.  If they’re a good player they’ll choose an option that will continue the encounter and add to it…probably the worst thing the stranger could do is meekly back down, removing themselves from the scene and not speaking anymore.  Why bother to speak up in the first place?
The third post is a good reaction for a meek character.  Lum admits she’s a coward immediately.  The stranger can get up now and come over to intimidate Lum further, or maybe the stranger is disgusted by her attitude.  “Huh.  No wonder yer lost yer money.  Get a spine, woman!  Buy me a drink and I’ll teach yer a few things about swordplay!† If I were in this situation, I would DEFINITELY want to buy the stranger a drink just to see what he’d do next.
The fourth post is almost as bad as the first.  Here Lum is denying she’s a coward but providing an OOC explanation for why things happened the way they did.  The stranger doesn’t care about the OOC reasons and you shouldn’t either.  The stranger wants to build a scene with you here and now.  OOC commentary only serves to break everyone’s suspension of disbelief and shut down the RP.  If you’re lucky, the stranger will try and continue the scene:  (“Don’t matter how many there were.  Kobold’s got stumpy legs.  If yer can’t outfight ‘em, at least try and out run ‘em!â€)  Of course, the stranger might have decided it wasn’t worth the effort and moved on.
Always remember that role playing is a cooperative effort that takes time and creative energy from all parties.  When you’re RPing (particularly with strangers), always look for ways to make the scene more varied and complicated.  Try and find ways to draw people deeper and deeper into the story that’s unfolding.  They may not act the way you expected or hoped, but therein lies the beauty.  Playing with other people causes you to act in unique ways you wouldn’t have imagined on your own.  However, when you react in a way that’s not realistic or limits how the other players can respond, they get discouraged and may decide to direct their efforts elsewhere.  Role playing isn’t easy, and if people aren’t having fun with it they give up quickly.
God Modding
The worst kind of role playing severely limits how other players can react. Â Suppose the first post above went like this:
“A coward, am I?† Lum Delume pulls a dagger and throws it into the stranger’s eye, burying the blade deep in his brain, killing him instantly.
The other player has no chance to react.  Do you expect that he’ll slump over dead now and reroll his character?  Clearly not.  He’s going to open up his blacklist and add you.  Play that dictates action and result is called godmodding.
You are free to have your character do whatever she wants, but you should never dictate the results of those actions unless it affects your character alone.  In the post above, Lum acts in a ridiculous fashion, pulling a dagger and throwing it at the stranger, but the stranger is free to duck or dodge or block it with his tankard.  You can bet strangers you just met aren’t going to let you hurt their characters, and chances are they won’t be eager to play with you after that.  Even when playing with people you know, injuries and deaths are usually discussed OOC to make sure everyone is okay with the way the story is going.  The same can be said for dismemberments, scarring, or any form of violence done to another character.
Godmodding isn’t limited to physical confrontations.  Imagine if it went this way:
“A coward, am I?† Lum Delume turns, showing the stranger the unearthly beauty of her perfect face.  The stranger rises from his seat as if seeing the Twelve, shuffling forward a few steps before falling to his knees in worshipful adoration.  He bows his head.  “Never have I dreamt of such beauty.  From this moment forth, my life is yours.  I swear my unending loyalty to your cause.  Command me now, mistress, and your bidding shall be done.â€
Here I’m not killing him, but I’m dictating his actions AND stating he needs to be my willing servant from now on.  No player is going to like that, and I’m sure in a real situation I’d already be on his ignore list.  All of your RP needs to be open ended.  I may reveal the unearthly beauty of my perfect face, but how the other person reacts is up to him.  Don’t be shocked if he doesn’t play along.  Maybe I’m just not his type.
Remember, role-playing is about telling a collective story.  You give your part, then let the other person react with their part.  Build the story together brick by brick.  That’s where the fun is!
IC vs. OOC
This is something even experienced, respectable role players have trouble with. Â There are things you know as a player, and there are things your character knows. Â Good plots can be ruined when the line blurs and players use their OOC information in character. Â This is also called metagaming.
Good mystery plots are the first casualties when characters use OOC information.  In the worst case, players know the answer to the mystery from OOC discussions and just let their characters solve it without any investigation.  This kind of behavior is lame enough to get you blacklisted.  In a more subtle example, the player has access to many details about the mystery that the character hasn’t discovered yet, and this extra detail allows the player to solve the mystery well before the character.  Rather than play along with the mystery as it unfolds, the player again has his character solve the mystery despite not having access to all the facts.
This IC vs. OOC issue can be a problem in the other direction as well.  Sometimes players are so worried about using OOC information they’ll refuse to allow their character to make logical conclusions because they’re not confident the character would have gotten there independently.  Instead of using OOC information to solve the case, the character in this scenario has access to all of the facts and the logical conclusion is pretty obvious, but the player refuses to let his character go there.  He’s worried he’s somehow using OOC information.
Many of us have issues with OOC vs. IC from time to time, and the tolerance people have for these sorts of mistakes varies from group to group.  You can ruin other people’s fun by using OOC information in character.  It’s impossible to know what to do in every scenario, but the best guide I can recommend is to follow the flow of the story.  Remember, stories are built from well-paced conflict.  What’s the conflict in question, and when should the characters reach the climax?  If I know the answer to the mystery, should I necessarily solve it?  What if more complications arose to gum up the works, or what if I solve the mystery but there’s immediately a complication that makes the solution unimportant?
It might not be possible to always have a clean line between OOC and IC knowledge, but in an enjoyable story it should hardly matter.  Instead of rushing to solve every problem, always look for ways to complicate and thus deepen the story.  What you know ICly and OOCly shouldn’t matter as much as how the story develops.
Different groups have different rules for what they consider acceptable RP, but I’m going to try and hit a few guide marks that I think most people would agree on.
Cooperative Story Telling
I mentioned this in my post explaining RP and what it is, but it bears repeating.  Role playing is a shared experience.  You want to have fun, and other players do too.  It’s important to read the moods of other characters and try to build a story together.  It’s difficult to explain how this works as it’s more of an art than a science, but when people get in tune with each other and tell a story that everyone loves, it’s a unique experience.
A good rule of thumb when RPing is to ask yourself, “How would I feel if some other player did this to me?† Imagine you are role-playing in a bar with a good friend, telling him an in-character story about getting ambushed by kobolds and losing your money.  Another player in the bar jumps in saying, “Anyone who would lose a fight to kobolds is a coward, doesn’t know how to handle a weapon, or both!â€
Why did the stranger say that in the bar?  Obviously he wants to role play with you.  He’s picking a fight in character.  How will you react?  The best reaction will build more tension in the scene and deepen the interaction between your characters.  Consider these reactions:
“A coward, am I?† Lum Delume pulls a dagger and throws it at the stranger’s head.
“A coward, am I?† Lum Delume walks directly up to the stranger, staring him down.
Lum Delume jumps, startled, freezing awkwardly before slumping her shoulders forward, a look of defeat on her face.  “A coward, am I?  Yes, I suppose that’s true…â€
“A coward, am I?  You didn’t see how many were there.  It was impossible for me to escape!† ((I’m not a coward, the GM rolled a die and I got a really bad result.  It’s just the way it happened.  I couldn’t help it!))
In the first post, Lum has immediately escalated the situation into deadly violence.  Only a complete psychopath would act this way, and chances are the stranger in the bar is already ignoring you.  If you had been the one to call out another player in the bar, would you expect them to turn around and attempt to murder you?  Even really tough, violent individuals wouldn’t respond this way.
The second post is a good reaction for a tough character.  You’re showing that you’re not a coward and giving the stranger a chance to react.  Maybe he’ll jump up and stare you down, forcing your friends to defuse the situation.  Maybe the stranger will back off, or maybe the stranger will laugh.  (“This one’s got spunk!  Lost yer money, did yer?  Let me buy yer a drink!â€)  You don’t know what’s going to happen, but that’s the fun of it.  You’re giving the other player a chance to RP and show their character.  If they’re a good player they’ll choose an option that will continue the encounter and add to it…probably the worst thing the stranger could do is meekly back down, removing themselves from the scene and not speaking anymore.  Why bother to speak up in the first place?
The third post is a good reaction for a meek character.  Lum admits she’s a coward immediately.  The stranger can get up now and come over to intimidate Lum further, or maybe the stranger is disgusted by her attitude.  “Huh.  No wonder yer lost yer money.  Get a spine, woman!  Buy me a drink and I’ll teach yer a few things about swordplay!† If I were in this situation, I would DEFINITELY want to buy the stranger a drink just to see what he’d do next.
The fourth post is almost as bad as the first.  Here Lum is denying she’s a coward but providing an OOC explanation for why things happened the way they did.  The stranger doesn’t care about the OOC reasons and you shouldn’t either.  The stranger wants to build a scene with you here and now.  OOC commentary only serves to break everyone’s suspension of disbelief and shut down the RP.  If you’re lucky, the stranger will try and continue the scene:  (“Don’t matter how many there were.  Kobold’s got stumpy legs.  If yer can’t outfight ‘em, at least try and out run ‘em!â€)  Of course, the stranger might have decided it wasn’t worth the effort and moved on.
Always remember that role playing is a cooperative effort that takes time and creative energy from all parties.  When you’re RPing (particularly with strangers), always look for ways to make the scene more varied and complicated.  Try and find ways to draw people deeper and deeper into the story that’s unfolding.  They may not act the way you expected or hoped, but therein lies the beauty.  Playing with other people causes you to act in unique ways you wouldn’t have imagined on your own.  However, when you react in a way that’s not realistic or limits how the other players can respond, they get discouraged and may decide to direct their efforts elsewhere.  Role playing isn’t easy, and if people aren’t having fun with it they give up quickly.
God Modding
The worst kind of role playing severely limits how other players can react. Â Suppose the first post above went like this:
“A coward, am I?† Lum Delume pulls a dagger and throws it into the stranger’s eye, burying the blade deep in his brain, killing him instantly.
The other player has no chance to react.  Do you expect that he’ll slump over dead now and reroll his character?  Clearly not.  He’s going to open up his blacklist and add you.  Play that dictates action and result is called godmodding.
You are free to have your character do whatever she wants, but you should never dictate the results of those actions unless it affects your character alone.  In the post above, Lum acts in a ridiculous fashion, pulling a dagger and throwing it at the stranger, but the stranger is free to duck or dodge or block it with his tankard.  You can bet strangers you just met aren’t going to let you hurt their characters, and chances are they won’t be eager to play with you after that.  Even when playing with people you know, injuries and deaths are usually discussed OOC to make sure everyone is okay with the way the story is going.  The same can be said for dismemberments, scarring, or any form of violence done to another character.
Godmodding isn’t limited to physical confrontations.  Imagine if it went this way:
“A coward, am I?† Lum Delume turns, showing the stranger the unearthly beauty of her perfect face.  The stranger rises from his seat as if seeing the Twelve, shuffling forward a few steps before falling to his knees in worshipful adoration.  He bows his head.  “Never have I dreamt of such beauty.  From this moment forth, my life is yours.  I swear my unending loyalty to your cause.  Command me now, mistress, and your bidding shall be done.â€
Here I’m not killing him, but I’m dictating his actions AND stating he needs to be my willing servant from now on.  No player is going to like that, and I’m sure in a real situation I’d already be on his ignore list.  All of your RP needs to be open ended.  I may reveal the unearthly beauty of my perfect face, but how the other person reacts is up to him.  Don’t be shocked if he doesn’t play along.  Maybe I’m just not his type.
Remember, role-playing is about telling a collective story.  You give your part, then let the other person react with their part.  Build the story together brick by brick.  That’s where the fun is!
IC vs. OOC
This is something even experienced, respectable role players have trouble with. Â There are things you know as a player, and there are things your character knows. Â Good plots can be ruined when the line blurs and players use their OOC information in character. Â This is also called metagaming.
Good mystery plots are the first casualties when characters use OOC information.  In the worst case, players know the answer to the mystery from OOC discussions and just let their characters solve it without any investigation.  This kind of behavior is lame enough to get you blacklisted.  In a more subtle example, the player has access to many details about the mystery that the character hasn’t discovered yet, and this extra detail allows the player to solve the mystery well before the character.  Rather than play along with the mystery as it unfolds, the player again has his character solve the mystery despite not having access to all the facts.
This IC vs. OOC issue can be a problem in the other direction as well.  Sometimes players are so worried about using OOC information they’ll refuse to allow their character to make logical conclusions because they’re not confident the character would have gotten there independently.  Instead of using OOC information to solve the case, the character in this scenario has access to all of the facts and the logical conclusion is pretty obvious, but the player refuses to let his character go there.  He’s worried he’s somehow using OOC information.
Many of us have issues with OOC vs. IC from time to time, and the tolerance people have for these sorts of mistakes varies from group to group.  You can ruin other people’s fun by using OOC information in character.  It’s impossible to know what to do in every scenario, but the best guide I can recommend is to follow the flow of the story.  Remember, stories are built from well-paced conflict.  What’s the conflict in question, and when should the characters reach the climax?  If I know the answer to the mystery, should I necessarily solve it?  What if more complications arose to gum up the works, or what if I solve the mystery but there’s immediately a complication that makes the solution unimportant?
It might not be possible to always have a clean line between OOC and IC knowledge, but in an enjoyable story it should hardly matter.  Instead of rushing to solve every problem, always look for ways to complicate and thus deepen the story.  What you know ICly and OOCly shouldn’t matter as much as how the story develops.
