Poe's Journal Entry
The writing lacks a smoothness…as if the writer paused several times, thinking.Rose…there is a reason she is my best friend! I contacted her, needed to talk. Needed to clear my head…and spill my guts. I told her what happened last night, Ry, S’anhu, the whole mess. Rose seemed to question if Ry had feelings for me, but I quickly let her know he said he had never had feelings for anyone.
And S’anhu…well, after she heard the whole story, man, I know she has my back. She told me I could do better, that some day I would meet a male with his head on straight. I keep remembering Ry and S’anhu both agreeing anyone would be lucky to have me. Well…almost anyone I suppose.
Rose let me ask about Ace, filled me in on her confusion. I tried my best with advice. Clearly I am not doing so well in the love department, but I can smile when I see the love others have for each other. I know it’s a lot for her to think about, and I do hope she asks him, asks him why he loves her. I am not sure how easy it will be able to answer…oooh, can you imagine how romantic it would be hear? All the reasons why someone loves you?
I am off track. After she let me have my fill, my curiosity vanquished, I asked her for a final piece of advice. How do I act around S’anhu now? I can’t unsay what I said. Granted, I didn’t stand there and say…well, any love phrase or anything. I just admitted yes. Rose had a point, we were all friends, he is part of the crew. She must have sensed my still sensitive wounds from the rejection. She told me I could have a day, to just avoid him. But she is right, we are on the crew. And I was honest, S’anhu’s friendship means more to me than anything else. I was the silly one who let my feelings get out of hand. So…professional, polite, distant. I can do this and I know S’anhu will be happier this way too.
Thank you Rose…I would have messed this one up without her advice.
