Bonds and Secrets
Roen twisted her wrist, testing the manacles. The cold band of steel that wrapped around her wrists and ankles were heavy and tight. All she could do was to sit on the chair she had been pushed onto, with her hands bound behind her, her feet also restrained. Roen pulled at her shackles again, only to realize her efforts were futile. The irons were unrelenting, as much as the stare of the woman who had put her in them.
Roen glared back at Natalie who was seated near her reclining against a sofa. The Sultansworn’s green eyes were cold and ungiving.
Kage was only trying to help. Roen knew this; Kage always had the best intentions. The lalafell paladin-in-training had come seeking her out after she was dismissed by Natalie, to try and understand why.
Roen was not surprised. She had not given Natalie a good enough reason, only that her family was in danger and her choices had been solely driven for their safety. Natalie dismissing her so quickly... did that surprise her? Perhaps. But Roen could not blame her mentor. She had left before, to make gil for Brenden Deneith’s medicines. And now she had done so again, without a word to Natalie, who had given her a second chance. She was just few suns away from being sworn in, and instead had disappeared without warning. Could Roen blame Natalie for her anger? How foolish was she when she thought to return to Ul’Dah, in hopes of returning to her duties as before? That perhaps amongst the Sultansworns she would find her haven, her safety, and her new home?
Roen had told her Master at Arms that her future was the furthest thing from her mind when she made the decision to do this on her own with the Resistance. But that did not make Natalie’s dismissal of her any less devastating. Perhaps she had hoped for too much. But she had never intended to get Natalie or any of the other Sultansworns involved from the start. How could she? Too many questions would inevitably lead to the reasons why her family was taken, and that would lead to her own heritage as a Garlean.
This she could never share with Natalie. Roen knew Natalie’s hatred for Garleans all too well.
So when Kage asked why, Roen did not answer. But she still needed help. She had snuck her family away to Limsa Lominsa, and had desperately asked Dandoroun to hide them in his farm at Summerford. But they could not stay there forever, they needed papers, a new identity. They needed to be hidden away from the reach of the Empire. So she had returned to Ul’Dah to ask for Kayah’s help and that was when she ran into Kage, a fellow Sultansworn in training.
Kage was so earnest about his concern and his desire to help, so when he offered his aid, even without knowing the reasons why, Roen believed he would. She followed him to the Mist where he said he could find Kayah.
And that was when she ran into Natalie again. She too had come to find Kayah, for he was attending to an injured friend. But her regard of Roen was cold and distant, her words clipped. Roen met it stoically. She had already accepted that Natalie’s anger and being barred from the order was a kinder fate than telling her she was a Garlean. And possibly facing execution at her hands.
But she was never given the opportunity to speak with Kayah. After a short exchange of words with Kage, Natalie stepped up behind her while she was talking with Kayah, and locked her wrists in manacles without a word. And now she sat on the chair in the Night Blades headquarters, with her hands and feet in chains.
“Natalie... why are you doing this?!" Her voice still shook with disbelief.
“Roen, you're willing to let me hate you, is that correct?" Natalie crossed her arms. "You'd rather face that than tell me what I want to know? Because if Kage is right, and you are telling the truth about your family… that's the only possibility."
When Roen refused to answer, Natalie sighed, tapping a finger against her cheek. "I must admit, I was rather disappointed in you. But certain meddling people convinced me to think about the situation differently.†She leaned back, hooking her arms against the sofa cushions behind her. “So, you'd rather let me dismiss you than speak of what happened? I'd rather face your hate than not know. So it seems we are at an impasse.â€
Roen narrowed her eyes on the smug grin that Natalie flashed her way. She turned away from it, instead looking to Kage bitterly. He who had brought her here with words of trust and reassurance. He stood on the other side of the room, but his head was bent, his gaze unwilling to meet hers.
“How long do you mean to keep me in manacles then, Natalie?†Roen asked quietly.
"Until you tell me what I want to know". The Sultansworn shrugged. "I'm convinced you're in danger, and I mean to help whether you want it or not. So get comfortable." She kicked her feet up onto the table in front of her.
Roen's chest sank as all the air left her. She closed her eyes. "Natalie, please. I cannot," she pleaded. "I cannot tell you."
"Alright," Natalie sighed, tapping her chin again. She changed tact. "Let me ask you a theoretical question. Back when I took that somnus, did you wish you had stopped me?"
Roen blinked. That was moons ago. When she was trying to figure out who had sent an assassin after her, one posed as a beggar that then stabbed her in the middle of the street in Ul’Dah. That investigation had come to a dead end only after finding out that the one who hired the assassin was also distributing a mysterious drug in form of a licorice. Natalie had boldly tried the licorice herself, to discover that it was somnus. She had done so against Roen’s advice.
"Then? Right as you did so? Aye."
"Because you knew I was doing something dangerous, something foolish." Natalie pushed off from the cushions, leaning forward. "In fact, I could have died, had the dose been slightly more concentrated. So, knowing all that, why didn't you?"
Roen turned her gaze back to Natalie, her words still coated with bitterness. "I trusted your judgement. Your reckless and unpredictable judgement. Natalie, can you not do the same, and allow me to do what I need to do?" Her voice was beginning to shake. “I trust you with my life! And giving up your friendship was not easy!"
"I know.†Natalie calmly answered. It only fueled Roen’s indignation more.
"But I had to do it. And I would do so again, Natalie. As much as that would kill me to do it, I would!"
"That's why I'm doing this.†Natalie’s words continued to be cool, though her green eyes were intent upon her. “The other day… I let my anger rule my judgment. But not now. I'm not giving up on you, Roen. Even if you curse me for it all your life."
Roen closed her eyes again, bowing her head. Her red locks fell around her face, hiding her pained expression. “Natalie, please. Just let me do this.â€
“What did I tell you before, Roen. I’m always on your side. For twelve’s sake, we slew a primal together. Whatever this is, I won’t let you face it alone.†Natalie pounded an armored fist onto her thigh. “I can’t. I will not.â€
When Roen looked back to Natalie, her vision was already blurring with emotion. “Natalie. I cannot. I cannot tell you. Please do not ask it of me.†She had to make her understand that what she was asking would only make things worse.
Natalie seemed moved for an instant, gnawing her lip. Her expression softened as she closed her eyes and exhaled. "I am asking it, Roen.†She opened her eyes again. “I am.â€
Roen met the miqo’te’s eyes for a long silent moment, as what little hope she had left her. She finally lowered her gaze, resignation and sadness falling upon her like a shadow.
"Can't we help her without asking for the why?" Kage finally turned from his self-imposed exile, earnestly pleading to Natalie as well. His voice was heavily weighed with guilt. “We can still help her family, keep them safe! And Kayah can have their names changed!â€
Natalie answered him with silence. She only kept her eyes on Roen, her gaze unrelenting.
"I wish for their safety above all," Roen whispered, staring at the manacles around her ankles. If she told the truth, those manacles would never come off. But did she have a choice now? At least her family was safe. "What happens to me does not matter,†she whispered, closing her eyes. She resigned herself to tell them the truth. Perhaps she owed that to Natalie.
Roen did not look up when she heard Natalie’s gauntlets drop to the floor. But she did as she heard the miqo'te's armored footsteps approach, only to have her head snap to the side as Natalie struck her hard across the face. Her cheek began to burn immediately.
"Don't you ever fucking say that, Roen!" Natalie growled, her chest heaving. “Don’t you dare.â€
Roen ignored the stinging in her face, looking back to Natalie with defiance and anger. “It is my life, Natalie! I know its worth!â€
It took only an instant, but Roen saw Natalie’s fist curl and rise, next to those angry green eyes. She shut her own and flinched when she heard the violent slam just next to her ear, as Natalie’s knuckles cracked the wall. Roen could feel the woman’s breath just above her cheek as her own chest rose and fell. Then she felt a wet drop on her face.
Roen opened her eyes just as the miqo’te spun away from her. She only caught a hint of glistening on  her cheek. “Just… just sit there then,†she croaked. “Until you’re ready to talk.†The Sultansworn quickly rounded the corner of the room, walking into the office next door.
Roen turned from where Natalie had retreated to the sound of the main door opening as the towering figure of a Roegadyn entered the room. It was Dennthota Ahtahrmwyn, one of the members of the Night Blades. The purple haired Roe wore a smile on her face, but it soon dissipated when she spotted Roen.
“What... what the hell is going on here?†The woman’s eyes went to the shackles. In two long steps she was towering over the red-headed hyur. Roen saw her large hands extend towards her. “Give me your hands, child.â€
Natalie quickly rounded the corner, her eyes bloodshot. “Get out of here,†she growled as she stepped in between Dennthotoa and her prisoner.
“You didn't put her in these, did you?†The Roegadyn woman paused.
"What's it to you.â€
“I ain't here to start no trouble with you.†Dennthota eyed the Sultansworn. “But you simply can't take away the freedom of another. It’s not right.†She straightened, as if to use her looming figure to punctuate her next words. “Now move so I can get her out of those.â€
"You have no idea what you're walking into, Denn,†Natalie lowered herself slightly, in a ready stance. “Taking off those cuffs would likely be the same as killing her myself, now." She snarled through gritted teeth. "Leave us be."
Dennthota narrowed her eyes. “You tryin' to get somethin' out of her, ain't ya?â€
"I am."
“I thought as much,†Denn shook her head. “Some secrets are best left untouched, Natalie. Remi did the same to me once, and it ruined our relationship. People hide things for a reason. You need to respect that.â€
"No," Natalie spat back. "I don't. Some bonds run thicker than others, Denn.†She glanced over her shoulder to Roen. “Even if people don't realize it. The bond of a sister in arms is stronger than you could know."
Roegadyn’s eyes became slitted. “Well you're a bloody idiot then. I'm going to ask you one more time to move, else I'm putting that hard ass head of yours into the wall.â€
“You can try.†Natalie did not budge; her voice was laced with steel.
Denn flashed her a grin. “I was hoping you would say that.â€
