RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes

V'yaron · **05-02-2015, 11:15 AM**

I can relate to some of this. I started playing around the same time as you, and have felt similar on occasion. I can only really tell you what I've done and how it's helped me, and hope that it can help you as well.

As plenty of people have pointed out, roleplay is a cooperative effort; it's something that requires two sides. I was pondering my lack of roleplay since joining the server, and to be fair, it was slightly depressing. But, because roleplay requires two sides, you need to look at both of them when analyzing what the issue is.

For me, I came to the conclusion that I was the issue. My own character wasn't working for me. As much as I liked him in concept, for all the headcanons that I cooked up about him and the history I threw together, he was hard to roleplay. Finding motivation for him to be in particular places (especially RP hotspots) was an issue.

Making a topic on the RPC about finding more roleplay helped me tackle this issue. I'm immensely appreciative of the people that saw my topic, replied to it, and then sought me out in game. But, as Nebbs mentioned, I am one of those people that typically say that they're busy and want to roleplay some other time. This had nothing to do with anyone else, but with my own character and my own motivations.

Instead of worrying why people didn't want to roleplay with me - which really wasn't the case - I did what I needed to do in order to be more comfortable roleplaying. I re-vamped my character, and now I have one that I can literally stick just about anywhere. It required a race and name change, a whole new history and personality. But character building is part of the fun of roleplaying, and it gave me an opportunity to make a character that's easier to approach people with.

If you're into random encounters, honestly, there's no lack of roleplay on this server. The Quicksand is generally full of people. Even when I just brush through it OOC, there's a bunch of people hanging around and interacting with one another. There's almost always several people standing around the outer-railings, and I can guarantee some of them are just as nervous about approaching people, or worried that no one in the room wants to interact with them.

My advice is really simple: do what you need to do in order to make yourself happy. Sometimes, that requires some effort. Every so often we need to leave our comfort zones, but it's ultimately rewarding. Switch things up with your character to keep it fresh, join a linkshell, muster up the courage to approach that person sitting on a bench - the one that's probably waiting for someone to approach because they haven't yet found the courage to do it themselves.

ArmachiA · **05-02-2015, 11:29 AM**

(05-02-2015, 11:10 AM)Warren Castille Wrote: Hm.

This isn't the first time that you've mentioned this.

I'm not sure how to help you anymore.

I just went and read through these. A lot of people gave some good advice in each of those threads... but it seems OP posts something like this then never comes back to work with the community on it.

It's a shame he refuses to work with people, it's going to make him miss so many opportunities.

Cailean Lockwood · **05-02-2015, 11:31 AM**

So, ultimately, it's the OP's own fault. Well, there you go.

Warren Castille · **05-02-2015, 12:01 PM**

(05-02-2015, 11:31 AM)theincubuslord Wrote: So, ultimately, it's the OP's own fault. Well, there you go.

It's not always so cut and dry in social situations. If you ask me how to make a USB device work, I'm going to tell you to plug it into the USB port. If that doesn't work, I've got no idea what's wrong.

It's possible the OP took the advice given and just struck out with it. There's no guarantee of success when dealing with other people. However, repeatedly posting "I'm lonely, so I'm going to go off alone and stop responding and looking at feedback" is the wrong way to get anything changed.

In my opinion, at least.

Cailean Lockwood · **05-02-2015, 12:47 PM**

(05-02-2015, 12:01 PM)Warren Castille Wrote:
(05-02-2015, 11:31 AM)theincubuslord Wrote: So, ultimately, it's the OP's own fault. Well, there you go.

It's not always so cut and dry in social situations. If you ask me how to make a USB device work, I'm going to tell you to plug it into the USB port. If that doesn't work, I've got no idea what's wrong.

It's possible the OP took the advice given and just struck out with it. There's no guarantee of success when dealing with other people. However, repeatedly posting "I'm lonely, so I'm going to go off alone and stop responding and looking at feedback" is the wrong way to get anything changed.

In my opinion, at least.

Yeah, I guess that's fair. Good point.
It's just odd that if he's asked so many times before, gotten tons of advice, then went to do as adviced and still on square one. Two possibilities - either the advice just didn't work, or he didn't actually follow the advice.
If it is the first point that's the case, then since it is people in this community who are playing the same game and doing RP, then those people giving advice are the same who are ignoring him and turning their backs on him.
However, if it is the latter, my point stands with it's his own fault.

It sounds very black and white, I know, but that's basically what's happening here.

D'aito Kuji · **05-02-2015, 12:52 PM**

I've always been a bit confused that people have this expectation that RP is just gonna happen, that it's a feature of the game that's not working right.

MMORPGs are a lot like life. Â Think about how many people you talk to on a given day. Â Likely you know them already. Â How many times are you walking in a park or down a street and just start talking to them and sharing your backstory. Â I'd wager that it's kinda rare. Â A lot of people, like me, are very not into being spoken to if they do not know them. Â A catch 22? Â Obviously.

Roleplay isn't that much different. Â I'm not gonna RP just because someone else wants to. Â It has to make sense in the time and space of my character, just like it does in real life.

There are places where people go to comiserate with others, bars, churches, cons, standing in line. Â All those things exist in FFXIV.

I am not super great at RP but it's not because of my social phobia (well, it is a bit) but it's because I'm not super familiar with all the Lore. Â I don't want to jump into some complex discussion of dragoons or Elzen history or whatever because I don't know enough about it. Â I don't do this kind of thing in real life either.

FFXIV isn't as easy for me as TSW or CoH was, but it's not so difficult either.

Iex · **05-02-2015, 01:38 PM**

When you slam the door in people's faces, folks tend not to stick around for you, especially strangers. You have done this four times, sometimes only giving people two days to 'entertain you.' While there is no magical formula to find RP, if you followed the NOVELS of advice you have been given in every thread you wouldn't be having much issues with RP.

The cold hard fact is: if you are shy you still have to make yourself appealing to RP with for rp to come to you. Posting things like this, or in game going on about having to go to emo corner to be alone do not make you appealing ICly or OOCly. (Nor does it actually make you shy but that is a whole different matter).

The second cold hard fact: RP rarely comes to you if you don't go to it first. As much as many people seem to rag on Quicksand 9 out of 10 times if you find someone with "RPer" in their tag without added E/M and walk up to say hello they will respond. It won't be the most INDEPTH rp but it is RP.

The third cold hard fact: Calling out the community you are complaining about on the RPC is rather... uh.. silly? You do realize like.... only 1/10thÂ (IF that)Â of the RPers actively use this. A lot of people I know just use it for the Event listings to go to events and make new contacts.

No one is invisible, but if you don't give people a reason to see you they will focus on their own RP.

Kellach Woods · **05-02-2015, 05:53 PM**

(05-02-2015, 09:42 AM)Alothia Wrote: I know people like to have their shy characters, but honestly, if you want to RP, you're going to have a hard time with a shy character.

Usually people have shy characters because they can't envision themselves having the OOC courage to play a character that isn't. At least, that's how it was for me for a few characters beforehand.

(My method of, uh, coping is incredibly unhealthy and as such I won't share it here.)

It gives an excuse for the RPer to not feel involved that doesn't attack the issue, that shifts the blame passively on an outside entity (and it's better than saying it's obviously my fault or other people's fault) but it doesn't address the problem. However, expecting that people confront shortcomings that might be far more crippling than they appear for the sake of a video game is asking a bit much of them.

It does suck - both for the person because their own insecurities are preventing them from having fun and for the community because they're losing a potential RPer. When it comes to RPing, I'd rather have a larger pool of people that RP all around me because statistically someone can find their niche easier if there's more RPers than not.

Even then, because I recognize that what he wants out of RP in this game is what I want out of RP in this game, I can only tell him what worked for me - Which was joining a OOC linkshell then saying I'm planning on RPing there. Or looking for that one sentence that meant I could talk, finding it and then onwards to adventure.

I still attended hella tavern nights and other events though. They won't include you if they don't know you - so you'll need to introduce yourself. A good tavern night you can go to is the HoD tavern night on Thursday nights at 9 Eastern - At worst, Faye always welcomes you IC so you can have some measure of interaction, and there's always someone to remind you to put your weapon in the locker, which instantly forces you to acknowledge and interact with them.

Verad · **05-02-2015, 07:42 PM**

(05-02-2015, 12:47 PM)theincubuslord Wrote: Yeah, I guess that's fair. Good point.
It's just odd that if he's asked so many times before, gotten tons of advice, then went to do as adviced and still on square one. Two possibilities - either the advice just didn't work, or he didn't actually follow the advice.

If it is the first point that's the case, then since it is people in this community who are playing the same game and doing RP, then those people giving advice are the same who are ignoring him and turning their backs on him.

However, if it is the latter, my point stands with it's his own fault.

It sounds very black and white, I know, but that's basically what's happening here.

It's not.

What could also happening is this: He's taking advice from people on the RPC, and trying to find RP with people not on the RPC. The advice may be failing for a number of different reasons - social interaction not being math, among them - but one of those is that he's interacting with people who don't know he's been struggling, don't know him from Adam, and have no reason to be more sympathetic to him than they would any other stranger.

If you would like to blame the people on the RPC, that is certainly your prerogative. But it will go about as well as everybody else who blames the RPC for things that aren't actually under anybody's control.

Mercer · **05-02-2015, 08:24 PM**

There's a lot going against you here, Nara. Shy character combined with a name and class that might make people take a second look in the worst way and an unwillingness to coordinate RP. This isn't a knock against what you enjoy, just the fact that your own standards severely limits RP.
RP is an investment, you get what you invest in other people. Random, spontaneous RP is like a high risk investment. It might pay off big time but more often than not it's going to crash and burn over and over again. I'm not sure if there is anything that I can say to help you, outside of be willing to step out of your boundaries and compromise what you want with what others want to create something that works for everyone.

In a lot of ways breaking into RP is like a new artist trying to make a big break in the art scene. You've got to have a style all your own, something that interests others in wanting to know more, to invest in you and your character's future.

The number one thing to remember with RP is that everyone is putting time into the game and their characters. You, the person across from you and the rest of the people in the Sands. What makes you unique, interesting and engaging enough that others want to get to know your work?

Meena · **05-02-2015, 08:28 PM**

I also think there may be an issue with how people are active these days, normally at least 110 people on my 200 friend-list are online and now its barely 30 at times. People just aren't playing as all as they used to due to other commitments.

there's finals for many people, exams and work commitments people are getting sucked into outside of the game. heck, even I am finding it hard to find game time.

Mercer · **05-02-2015, 08:30 PM**

(05-02-2015, 11:29 AM)ArmachiA Wrote:
(05-02-2015, 11:10 AM)Warren Castille Wrote: Hm.

This isn't the first time that you've mentioned this.

I'm not sure how to help you anymore.
I just went and read through these. A lot of people gave some good advice in each of those threads... but it seems OP posts something like this then never comes back to work with the community on it.

It's a shame he refuses to work with people, it's going to make him miss so many opportunities.

I just went back and noticed this as well. Parts of this post are word for word copied from another in March. This seems like a cry for attention and an unwillingness to engage with the community that responds to them.

Seriphyn · **05-02-2015, 08:31 PM**

See, I always post adversarial/critical things on this forum that don't always go over well, yet I can still find plenty RP on Balmung.
I'm not an alpha dog IRL or anything, but I just can't sympathize with the shy excuse.

Kage · **05-02-2015, 08:48 PM**

I've very much learned that walk up RP, well if you intend on it to really make up for adventure or something, you might be in for a hard time.

On that note, I'm not sure you'll find many people doing random walk-up that will do much other than meet-and-greet. I'm not sure if that's exactly what you want, but not many normal people will go approach a person who is also pretty shy and then saw "Join me in this!"

On another note, the RPC only reflects an -extremely- small portion of the roleplaying community on Balmung. It's even less so for other servers. I would wager there are more RPers on Balmung who utilize Tumblr than are of the "RPC community." So I apologize if you have met 0 success in your endeavor. Unfortunately, we can't help you with that as we don't influence the Balmung RP community.

A lot of us -do- know how it feels to be shy. Unfortunately, we're always going to need that one person to help us out. Drag us. Or, drag ourselves. I've been under the mindset that I've burned too many bridges, no one would want to talk to me OOCLY or ICly. But, you know what you have to do? Just approach them. Keeping it. Yes, you will have to meet some who just cannot keep up with too many people. I'm not sure what we can do, if anything.

I've met other roleplayers who can't deal with the amount of chat running through places like the Grindstone and the Quicksand. Roleplaying with 2 people or more is hard for them. They can't do it in groups higher than that so unfortunately, they hope you might reach someone else.

I'm sure i've burnt bridges. I'm sure people don't want to talk to me or RP with me, ever again. But I've had others who when i sent them a friend request, tell, pm they said "sure let's rp" I've walked up to people here on the RPC and they've received me kindly. You don't need to extensively plan something just.. "I see you online, any chance to just RP? Where can I RP with you?"

If you want more, yes you will have to plan. I'm currently trying to "plan" an encounter, whom I've wanted to RP with for OVER A YEAR, that is more than "just walk up and ask if you can buy them a couple of drinks." I want things to be more than just "oh yes I met them." I want to build significant experiences and friendships for my character with these people but it requires talking and yes planning.

If not, I would be be just saying hello. Ok. Bye.

A character I met, because one of my real life friends said "oh meet her!" told my character "Fake it until you make it. Or just keep faking it." It's something my character still does, and myself. Because my god am I still just faking it.

Kellach Woods · **05-02-2015, 09:15 PM**

(05-02-2015, 08:28 PM)Meena Wrote: I also think there may be an issue with how people are active these days, normally at least 110 people on my 200 friend-list are online and now its barely 30 at times. People just aren't playing as all as they used to due to other commitments.

there's finals for many people, exams and work commitments people are getting sucked into outside of the game. heck, even I am finding it hard to find game time.

Gotta admit I'm kinda feeling this about gaming in general, but it might just be the fact that I work in QA and have been doing hella overtime as a result, as well as trying to get much, much better than I currently am in Mortal Kombat X. These QBRC combos won't become crispy by themselves.

(05-02-2015, 08:48 PM)Kage Wrote: I've very much learned that walk up RP, well if you intend on it to really make up for adventure or something, you might be in for a hard time.

Pretty sure I can retrace a Kudos post I made about exactly that happening. It's not that hard provided you have a good idea - Might just be you're looking for something that's not in the city (Coeurl Skin, etc.) Also need to escort someone but wouldn't mind a traveling partner. Plenty hooks you can use within the game's very own lore to do that, but it requires a commitment to RPing outside of the cities.

Where this is hard is that there's a couple people on here and off here that are reluctant to the idea of actually doing something while RPing instead of just RPing.

I can understand stuff like, say, exploring Wanderer's Palace IC for various reasons (Nymian artifacts, wanting to trade the tonberries for a Chef's Knife, etc. P.S. I am currently doing this and IIRC I only have one spot left) would require hella planning unless you happen to casually meet a crew of dedicated dungeon delvers who have a death wish. And by hella planning I mean sowing the seed IC to someone I know, then casually encountering someone in Bronze Lake that I know who informed me of more info IC and is interested in going. Barely 2 sessions and we're ready to rock.

That kinda thing does require setup. However a trek to the country side because reasons? 15 minutes you got your set-up. You fail? Determine whether you'd do it alone, or need someone else, or if you want to talk more about it, etc.

I am not saying that such a thing is easy nor that it's common - just that it's feasible and writing it off as folly is exactly that.

« Next Oldest \| Next Newest »
Pages (7): « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 … 7 Next » Jump to page:

My Observations

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes