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Faye · **10-02-2014, 04:08 PM**

Man, it seems I must a lot since I went to sleep, but to rehash some things!

1) I don't think Jana was meaning to make any of the three categories sound inferior to the others, and I don't think any of the wording in her post showed any bias toward any of the categories. I think the three classifications are pretty accurate, and there's nothing wrong with any style, it's just someone's personal preference.

2) I've never seen this rampant ERP in the streets everyone talks about. I guess I'm in the minority, but I have NEVER seen an ERP post in a public chat that was not just a mistell. (Firsthand, I mean. I have seen screenshots of such and heard some horror stories.) I've seen some racy posts quite frequently, sure, but nothing R-rated.

3) You'd be surprised who ERP's. I venture over half the people in the RP community have at least once. We do it in private, discretely, and perhaps rarely. Some hide it out of shame and pretend they're appalled at the thought of it (imagine that), while most others are just quiet about it out of decency. And I'm going to add--knowing that people in the community ERP does not mean you've ERPed with them. To help make some sense of that--I know most of my friends have sex, that doesn't mean I've had sex with them, thx. Knowing something doesn't mean you've participated or even seen it firsthand.Â

4) Most people agree that public ERP is bad. It's preaching to the choir, even when you say to people who ERP, that ERP shouldn't be done in public. Sure, there are certainly idiots who post inappropriate things in public chat channels, but the majority of the RP community does not and considers it taboo. Even the people who do it generally realize it's a no-no. They just A) think "well I don't see anyone in the area so this place is safe enough to post in /say" or B) are purposely vying for attention/trying to stir up trouble.

5) Many non-RPers put a negative stigma on role-play because they want to, not because of anything the RP community did. Sure, there are certain role-players who do lend to negative thinking about us. But countless time I've heard people blurt out of stuff like "omg there are people ERPing in the middle of the tavern ugh how gross" and it turns out, it was just two scantly clad characters standing next to each other in silence or AFK sitting in each other's laps, two people joking around OOC with flirting and sexual jokes, or just some trolls pretending to ERP to make fun of/bother the actual RPers nearby. It's not fair to say it's largely the fault of ERPers that some people think that all RP is nothing more than ERP when most people who think this way are just trolls or people who have absolutely no grasp of what either RP or ERP is because they'd rather turn up their noses and rant about how we're all sweaty men in our mother's basements playing as catgirls looking for cybersex than try to understand either.

Tiergan · **10-02-2014, 05:26 PM**

(10-02-2014, 02:57 PM)crowmeleon Wrote: [youtube]gtMBuJkgiNw[/youtube]

... I did not know there was a youtube channel just for roleplay advice. o_o

/mindblown

Verad · **10-02-2014, 05:29 PM**

I'm never sure what the purpose of worrying about the possibility of non-RPers stigmatizing roleplayers for engaging in ERP is meant to do. Helping to minimize trolling and harassment - yes, certainly, but somebody who is willing to troll and harass based on that is willing to do it whether ERP is the reason or not.

So what's the point? Outreach? Are we trying to expand our numbers? Do people who worry about this simply not like feeling embarrassed about their hobby?

Faye · **10-02-2014, 05:58 PM**

(10-02-2014, 05:29 PM)Verad Wrote: I'm never sure what the purpose of worrying about the possibility of non-RPers stigmatizing roleplayers for engaging in ERP is meant to do. Helping to minimize trolling and harassment - yes, certainly, but somebody who is willing to troll and harass based on that is willing to do it whether ERP is the reason or not.

So what's the point? Outreach? Are we trying to expand our numbers? Do people who worry about this simply not like feeling embarrassed about their hobby?

I think it's a matter of embarrassment mostly, stemming from insecurity. Those of us who embrace our geekdom, though, needn't worry. Tongue

Â I have come across RPers who fear trolls like the plague, totally irrationally. They will not RP anywhere public, only RP with their FC/people they already know, and often won't even tell others that they're RPers. I don't understand the troll-phobia, but I've come across it several times.

C'kayah Polaali · **10-02-2014, 06:36 PM**

Well, in all fairness, there are games out there where the troll community is completely off the hook.

In Star Trek Online, for instance, there was a troll fleet for a while who's modus operandi was to take fire extinguishers and glitter projectors (yes, both items exist in the game) and mob RPers in certain RP hotspots, spraying so much glitter/fog that nothing could be seen on the screen at all. During their heyday they would basically shut these places down 24/7.

Melkire · **10-02-2014, 06:38 PM**

(10-02-2014, 05:29 PM)Verad Wrote: I'm never sure what the purpose of worrying about the possibility of non-RPers stigmatizing roleplayers for engaging in ERP is meant to do. Helping to minimize trolling and harassment - yes, certainly, but somebody who is willing to troll and harass based on that is willing to do it whether ERP is the reason or not.

So what's the point? Outreach? Are we trying to expand our numbers? Do people who worry about this simply not like feeling embarrassed about their hobby?

Outreach has always seemed the point to me, though I'm not personally invested in such. I can see how a negative stigma arising from association with ERP might deter potential roleplayers and scare them off.

It's the difference between viewing RP as a medium for creative writing and viewing it as a cybering tool a la Second Life.

Kellach Woods · **10-02-2014, 06:44 PM**

Wait...

ERP DOESN'T STAND FOR EPIC ROLE PLAY?

*shames self off thread*

* * *

Seriously though, don't bring ratings into this - They really only exist to protect the company and retailers from people railing against content that's already in the game. After all - "Online interactions not rated by the ESRB." That being said, it is against the ToS to do it in public channels, so don't.

Not that anyone here would do that.

I've seen it happen personally though, that they'd go very, VERY far in /say though not in this game, and it was this ur-example of all that is "wrong" with ERP. I was too busy laughing my ass off to care.

Still, I kind of compare the ranting against ERP (from "it's wrong" to "ERPers are gross") to potential people who do it as saying to a wrestling fan "wrestling's fake!" It comes from a position of assumed superiority about something everyone's already figured out years ago. That it's not your cup of tea is fine - that it is someone else's is also fine.

The funny part is, and again this was my experience in another game, a portion of people who'll say "fuck ERP" when prompted by someone who asks them about it, are actually ERPers themselves either trying to fit in or being obviously sarcastic about their hatred.

Faye · **10-02-2014, 07:01 PM**

(10-02-2014, 06:44 PM)Kellach Woods Wrote: The funny part is, and again this was my experience in another game, a portion of people who'll say "fuck ERP" when prompted by someone who asks them about it, are actually ERPers themselves either trying to fit in or being obviously sarcastic about their hatred.

Every single person I've met who is vehemently against ERP--and I mean shouting about how gross it is and how they'd never do it when no one has even brought up the topic--end up being the most ERP-centric people I've ever met. Funny how that works lol.

QueenFrejyalen · **10-02-2014, 07:35 PM**

I just really crack up whenever someone goes into "omg eww ERP?! Â *mega-blushu*" Â I'm not going to lie, ahaha. Â I mean if you're grossed out it's cool, do you. Â But I hope people aren't knocking ERP without knowing anything about it (not referring to the OP here, referring to in-game exchanges), because that's the same as knocking someone's IRL lifestyle without knowing anything about it. Â That's not cool.

I had never ERP'd in this game or any other before, so I hit up some ERPers and just asked them questions on etiquette and the like, has been very interesting to learn. Â I've contemplated getting into it for the sole fact of honing my writing as a craft (which is what, I assume, most are RPing for in the first place) and because sexuality and gender are topics of interest to me.

And I agree with Jana's clause about the creepers; do not feel guilty explaining that they need to stop or blacklisting them! Â I treat most of these as a chance to help someone learn about boundaries, but there comes a point where you just blacklist. Â If any person just asked me "hey, I really love your character/her personality, maybe they could be an item? Â =3c", I'd be receptive to that. Â But "yo sexy *buttslap*" is NOT okay.

There's always going to be that someone who doesn't understand boundaries, or doesn't care to (and shame on that person who just doesn't give a shit about others). Â And there's always going to be that person who makes a mockery of something you love and are into, and shame on that person too.

I guess my personal opinion/advice on all of this is the same as many others here - ASK FIRST! Â Be clear, honest, and up-front with what you are looking for, and ask nicely. Â If they're not into it, that's their choice. Â If someone asks YOU nicely, be respectful of their lifestyle and decline fairly.

Communication is key in all of life. Â <3

Parvacake · **10-02-2014, 07:40 PM**

(10-02-2014, 07:01 PM)Faye Wrote: Every single person I've met who is vehemently against ERP--and I mean shouting about how gross it is and how they'd never do it when no one has even brought up the topic--end up being the most ERP-centric people I've ever met. Funny how that works lol.

I've seen that too. Thou protests too much! *eyebrow waggle*

Devereau · **10-02-2014, 07:41 PM**

Phrasing, phrasing, mind you!

Seriphyn · **10-02-2014, 07:54 PM**

(10-02-2014, 05:26 PM)Tiergan Wrote:
(10-02-2014, 02:57 PM)crowmeleon Wrote: [youtube]gtMBuJkgiNw[/youtube]

... I did not know there was a youtube channel just for roleplay advice. o_o

/mindblown

Yeah holy fuckballs! IKR?

crowmeleon · **10-02-2014, 08:26 PM**

(10-02-2014, 07:54 PM)Seriphyn Wrote:
(10-02-2014, 05:26 PM)Tiergan Wrote:
(10-02-2014, 02:57 PM)crowmeleon Wrote: [youtube]gtMBuJkgiNw[/youtube]

... I did not know there was a youtube channel just for roleplay advice. o_o

/mindblown

Yeah holy fuckballs! IKR?

Unfortunately there aren't many videos on the channel. However there is a tumblr where people ask questions and she answers. She's very pro-communication and I like that. I think a lot of drama and hardship could be avoided if we all were open to the kind of discussion she promotes.

Jana · **10-02-2014, 08:56 PM**

This got quite a few posts; I'm glad lots of people have so much to say and that things didn't get too heated! I don't really have much to add, but I will say that I've never really asked players their ages in-game because that, to me, feels creepy. I'll have to keep it in mind in the future.
Thanks to you guys for keeping things civil!

Blue · **10-02-2014, 09:09 PM**

Very interesting read. This brings me back to something that always kind of disappointed me about sexy roleplay: why does it seem impossible to RP a fail-casanova?

For one of my alts I had in mind to RP a sort of flirtatious jerk. The type who avoids commitment and prefers one-night adventures with the ladies, while keeping a rather male chauvinist demeanor with ladies, with kinds of rude and dirty jokes. In his background I had decided that his cold and rude attitude often made him hopeless at getting ladies on his side, and that he'd have to often resort to prostitutes.

However I was rather baffled to see that no matter how rude, jerky and overall asshole-ry my character would be, he was never refused by anyone I'd ICly hit on; more often than not, I was the one being hit on, even.

I do am opposed to scripting other roleplayers' reactions to my character ("be scared" "be shocked" "be offended"), but I have been trying in every possible way to push the right buttons to get rejected by other roleplayers (because I OOCly do NOT want to ERP, nor get physical really. I am far too shy for that), with all the opposite results. I ended up having to find an IC excuse and walk away before things would get to a point I couldn't bear.

I've eventually abandoned open RP with this character, and now use him only with close OOC friends that know my limits. There is just no joy in playing with fire if you always get scorched after all.

But it really is puzzling how in so many months that I have been trying to RP him in the open world, I couldn't find one roleplayer that would reject my character. Does anybody else RP a fail-casanova? If you do, how do you handle it?

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Dr. Jana's Field Guide to ERPers for Everyday Folks Like Yourself

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes