Update: I'm back and functional! Turns out it was not only a power supply issue (which was fixed when I got the new power supply) buuuttttt...(and this might help others in the future)
It was a very subtle looseness of the 20 bit connector that is the main source of power to the motherboard. Because that wasn't staying in all the way, nothing would turn on until I held it in and pressed the power button. Once one of the fans came on and I plugged in a monitor and saw that, I used a plastic chord to adjust the chord and keep it elevated so it would stay in.
So if your computer ever goes caput, check that cable!
It was a very subtle looseness of the 20 bit connector that is the main source of power to the motherboard. Because that wasn't staying in all the way, nothing would turn on until I held it in and pressed the power button. Once one of the fans came on and I plugged in a monitor and saw that, I used a plastic chord to adjust the chord and keep it elevated so it would stay in.
So if your computer ever goes caput, check that cable!