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My Observations


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My Observations
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Kagev
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RE: My Observations |
#46
06-05-2015, 12:20 PM
I'm not sure why this thread was "necro'd".

OP is gone. Not coming back. He hasn't been here since he left a month ago posting the thread.
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Lilia Liav
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RE: My Observations |
#47
06-05-2015, 12:21 PM
(06-05-2015, 12:20 PM)Kage Wrote: I'm not sure why this thread was "necro'd".

OP is gone. Not coming back. He hasn't been here since he left a month ago posting the thread.

I believe we're addressing the concern for posterity.  Other people may feel the same way that OP does.

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RE: My Observations |
#48
06-05-2015, 12:53 PM
But it's pretty much all the same thing that's been said every time the OP made a new thread or when others have made them.

Reach out.

It doesn't happen for us day one.

Someone's not automatically allowing my character into their conversation.

All wrapped up in different colored boxes, giftwrap, ribbon, etc.
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RE: My Observations |
#49
06-05-2015, 01:59 PM
There is actually a server wide conspiracy to shut out new RPers, OP figured us out, that's why he hasn't posted, we had to make him disappear.
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RE: My Observations |
#50
06-05-2015, 02:14 PM
I caught onto it as well Natalie. People tried to hold me back, step on me, keep me down - now look at me you CHUMPS. *Breaks out eminem song*
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RE: My Observations |
#51
06-05-2015, 04:18 PM
(06-05-2015, 12:53 PM)Kage Wrote: But it's pretty much all the same thing that's been said every time the OP made a new thread or when others have made them.

Reach out.

It doesn't happen for us day one.

Someone's not automatically allowing my character into their conversation.

All wrapped up in different colored boxes, giftwrap, ribbon, etc.

I don't think there's any problem with continuing the message of "We're out there, don't be afraid to walk up to us." The OP may be gone, but new players may have the same issue.

Reinforcing the idea that most of us won't mind if you waltz on up and start speaking your mind can't possibly do any harm.

Plus, it's just a nice discussion to have to see who else is out there and willing to voice their opinions on how to spread RP. Not like there's any rule against continuing a conversation for the sake of conversation.

I also like your use of the word "Necro." I've always thought that was a rad prefix.

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RE: My Observations |
#52
06-05-2015, 05:01 PM
I see it less as "us talking to the OP about their concern" and more "us discussing the OP's concern amongst ourselves."

It's important to take things like this seriously if we want to be a welcoming community.

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RE: My Observations |
#53
06-05-2015, 05:47 PM
(06-05-2015, 05:01 PM)Lilia Lia Wrote: I see it less as "us talking to the OP about their concern" and more "us discussing the OP's concern amongst ourselves."

It's important to take things like this seriously if we want to be a welcoming community.

Absolutely. OP may be gone, but the issue isn't.

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RE: My Observations |
#54
06-05-2015, 05:57 PM
As a super newcomer to the RP Community, just reached out yesterday, already had several welcome replies... someone helped me with a bit of lore and I was able to engage in RP last night long after an RP event had gone. 

To be fair, I had to create a character that would indeed reach out to people. However, I find a lot of RPers who are new to a server don't do this and then blame the community for not interacting with their anti-social withdrawn character. 

So I hope any other new RPers to their respective community realize that the problem might not be with everyone else, but with the character you create to interact with that community. Nobody is forcing you to be the person who stays away from social hubs or places your character in the corner. You might be anti-social in real life, but I encourage you to explore character personalities that may have an easier time of getting into the RP scene. 

Alternative, you can create your anti-social gothic character, but realize you may have to do more work to get involved in others' RP by contacting folks OOCly or what have you.
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RE: My Observations |
#55
06-05-2015, 06:03 PM
That sounds a lot like "we're trying to show you that you just haven't met the right people!"

But instead, may I suggest you towards threads such as these?

http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/showthread.php?tid=10821

and

http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/showthread.php?tid=10818


The question I ask you, is this thread supposed to become a thread of chiming in "Me too! I'm a welcoming RPer!"
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RE: My Observations |
#56
06-05-2015, 06:11 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-05-2015, 06:24 PM by Addison.)
I just want to speak from a new person perspective as well, because as a new person, if I were looking at this thread and didn't have the experiences I've had, I would be a little put off by the accusations thrown up in this thread.

I posted my super boring "Hi, I'm new. Look at me" thread and at first glance, it doesn't look like a lot of people took the time to say hi back, right? Looking at that, the community seems rather closed off and cliquish, right?

Not exactly.

I received multiple PMs from people welcoming me to the community. I've received I don't know how many tells in game. I've found quite a few linkshells already, and though I don't talk much (not anti-social per say, more like social anxiety maybe?), I say hello, ask people how they're doing and what not and all is good. I privately replied to one of the ads in the Making Connections forum and the RP is fantastic thus far. (I do better one on one or very small groups as opposed to large gatherings) People certainly have reached out to me, and look at my post! It's rather boring.

Could I do more? Absolutely. But I'm pretty comfortable where I'm at right now.

So to all you newbies reading this and getting put off by what's being said here, heed this advice: The effort you put into connecting with people will have a distinct and direct correlation to what type of return you get. In other words, put in some effort into others, and they will put effort into you.

EDIT: And to add, things could always be worse. There are many more insular, cliquish, and downright (dare I say it) toxic RP communities out there, and they are much much worse than what I've seen here so far. I've seen new players literally run off of RP communities before. I've been part of a community so insular, that whenever someone new wishes to join their guild, the first question they get asked is "Who are you and why are you hiding on an alt?"

So far, my experiences have been extremely positive. I can't say the same about some other communities.
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RE: My Observations |
#57
06-05-2015, 06:13 PM
Shameless, but relevant, self-promotion.

http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/showthread.php?tid=11239

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RE: My Observations |
#58
06-05-2015, 06:21 PM
(06-05-2015, 06:03 PM)Kage Wrote: That sounds a lot like "we're trying to show you that you just haven't met the right people!"

But instead, may I suggest you towards threads such as these?

http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/showthread.php?tid=10821

and

http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/showthread.php?tid=10818


The question I ask you, is this thread supposed to become a thread of chiming in "Me too! I'm a welcoming RPer!"

The question I would ask in return is, "Does it matter?"

We're just having a conversation. Is this not a site to meet like-minded individuals? I get that this thread isn't really "going anywhere" but does that mean we have to retreat into our separate silent corners of the internet? That's not really how connecting with people works. I'm enjoying reading and giving my own input in the thread and others seem to be enjoying the ability to share their stories about being new in the community, and it's helping everyone get an idea of what needs to be done to welcome RPers. We don't need to move threads and yell "IT'S CRUNCH TIME. WHAT ARE YOUR IDEAS?" some times these things can just develop over a naturally flowing discussion.

Why do we need to shut it down? You can just not read it anymore. I get that you may feel the need to check in because it's a thread you've posted in before, and you get frustrated that things are being repeated. But that happens. Why is this important enough to post three separate times asking why we're speaking to each other?

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RE: My Observations |
#59
06-05-2015, 06:31 PM
(06-05-2015, 06:21 PM)Uther Wrote: 'Nother snip.

And another addendum: It also helps keep a recurring issue present in literally every single roleplayer hub (including this one) in focus. When you see something become a pattern, you look into it, regardless of how much you might personally care.

Like me, I don't know these people, and I couldn't possibly give less of a shit about cliques, and inner circles, and the myriad of motherfuckers RP'ing in /party, in their houses, or holding a "private" session in a public place (which is hilarious in it's own right).

But...I mean, is the goal here really to just shut down communication? Is this a thread you want to see repeated? When do we, as hobbyists, look at what goes on and honestly talk about shit, then? Is it never? Do we want it to be never?
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RE: My Observations |
#60
06-05-2015, 06:41 PM
Talking with Addison some, some things I've considered. 
  • Addison said in the conversation we were having "I don't show up at a bar on friday night and magically expect my friends to appear. I have to call, plan ahead." I hadn't thought of that initially, I snorted, and told her she was right! 
  • Bars (taverns) are the worst places to meet people IRL (subject to differing opinions, of course.) I tend to go to bars with people I already know. 
  • In many stories, taverns are where stories begin. Sometimes. They certainly don't stay there in most fantasy settings. Even so, this is the deliberate choice of a single author, where the entire story is contrived from the beginning. Nothing is left to chance, it's all planned. There is no sonder considered, as every actor and event is meant to tell a very specific story. RP, in my experience, does not work like a novel. There are too many variables that are not controllable. We cannot control other people, only our own behavior. We can certainly plan with them, however. 
I understand that breaking into RP can be a challenge for new RPers. This isn't anything new, this hasn't changed, and it happens to be an ongoing issue, and there are many reasons why this is, and I don't think this is necessarily isolated to FFXIV. I don't think there is ultimately one solution. I don't blame some folks for being frustrated, nor do I blame them if they haven't figured out what they need to do yet for a solution that works best for them. 

For any number of problems that I have to solve daily, sometimes the correct solution for me isn't immediately clear, and it takes some flailing on my part to figure out what I need to do. I think the same can be said for finding RP. I think some expectations need to be tempered, and some self-examination may be required if the problems persists if honest and sincere efforts haven't produced any results. Do I keep doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results? What can I do differently? Have I not thought through what I'm doing thoroughly enough? Have I planned my character to the point that their story is already told before I even begin? Is my character fun for me to play, or do I feel like I'm pulling my own teeth out? Am I entertaining other people? 

My FC purposely engages new players for this very reason. The theme is 'starting over.' Bearcave and I want to give them some place to start. However, we ask that folks met us halfway, tell us what they want out of their RP, and we will see what we can do to connect them to other members they might enjoy RPing with. After that, it is up to the player.

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