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Lucius Ignatius · **12-24-2015, 05:39 AM**

Hey guys! After a while of debate, and trying to flesh my character out a bit more, I'd like to request some constructive criticism for my wikipage. I would like to make sure everything generally 'adds up' with the character, and I'd also like to make sure I'm using general 'terms' right such as Clan/Tribe/etc. I've heard so many different things on lore with Miqo'te, it's becoming hard to figure out what is what.

Please feel free to give general comments/your constructive criticism, just as long as it is truly constructive. I'd like to learn and try to get better with my FF14 RP, even though I've made lots of friends and none seem to have found any glaring flaws themselves through RPing with me. I'd like to see what others say. The link is in the signature. :3

Virella · **12-24-2015, 07:13 AM**

Do you want critique on the Wiki page outlay, or the character itself? I'm sort of confused here Tongue

Lucius Ignatius · **12-24-2015, 07:22 AM**

(12-24-2015, 07:13 AM)Virella Wrote: Do you want critique on the Wiki page outlay, or the character itself? I'm sort of confused here

Whoops! My apologies. Smile

It is more on the character than anything else. I was more worried about getting just the information on there than the overlay. X3 However, I wouldn't object to some recommendations of a different lay out. I just dont have the patience to fiddle with the layout code and such. My friend had originally set the page up for me as well. X3

Rathalos · **12-24-2015, 07:52 AM**

Ok, I'll just point out a few lore problems.

Try to avoid using "tribe" as a Keeper, tribe is a Seeker method of organisation. Keepers live in families (also called Clans), a number of people that varies, but is much smaller than a tribe. As far as I can remember, women take care of the young and males are often away, stray cats. And although they can be wild, it seems like the Keepers are much more integrated to society in the Shroud instead of being reclusive. Keepers are indeed the hardest kind of Miqo'te to find lore about, but at least this little is there.

The Coeurlclaw are a bunch of females taken by the Coeurl King and kept in a system akin to a cult; the postmoogle quest "The Past is a Story we Never Tell" explains much of how they behave, if you cannot complete it search the transcription of dialogue in the databases. There's only one male there. You're free to use it if you want, but Garlean experiments within the sept are something very unlikely to happen.

Edit: I'm not sure if it's intentional, but your character's mother has a typically male name. Female Keepers have no suffixes in their names!

Lucius Ignatius · **12-24-2015, 08:43 AM**

(12-24-2015, 07:52 AM)Rathalos Wrote: Ok, I'll just point out a few lore problems.

Try to avoid using "tribe" as a Keeper, tribe is a Seeker method of organisation. Keepers live in families (also called Clans), a number of people that varies, but is much smaller than a tribe. As far as I can remember, women take care of the young and males are often away, stray cats. And although they can be wild, it seems like the Keepers are much more integrated to society in the Shroud instead of being reclusive. Keepers are indeed the hardest kind of Miqo'te to find lore about, but at least this little is there.

The Coeurlclaw are a bunch of females taken by the Coeurl King and kept in a system akin to a cult; the postmoogle quest "The Past is a Story we Never Tell" explains much of how they behave, if you cannot complete it search the transcription of dialogue in the databases. There's only one male there. You're free to use it if you want, but Garlean experiments within the sept are something very unlikely to happen.

Edit: I'm not sure if it's intentional, but your character's mother has a typically male name. Female Keepers have no suffixes in their names!

Thank you Rathalos!

The clan vs tribe thing was definitely a thing I got confused on. I kept hearing the two 'factions' as a whole (Seeker and Keeper both) are clans, and they both lived in 'tribes'. I've heard others say other things, one site say another, etc. I got so confused, so now I know. XD I will change all the tribe-areas to clan.

As for the reclusiveness/wildness, I had meant for him to be an exception to the more integrated Keepers-- his mother was definitely the one to take care of him, but he really never 'knew' his parents due to some kind of 'force' (using 'force' as a general thing at the moment because I may end up changing the groups of people responsible for taking his mother away from him, depending on responses and suggestions) taking them away from him at a very young age. It was pretty much the age for a miqo'te where they were able to grow up on their own, but couldn't really remember people from that period of time after so long, if that makes sense. After that, thats when he would have grown up on his own and just became a bit of a 'nature boy', more in tune with the forest and natural things than the typical Keeper Miqo'te. His clan would have been a bit similar, but probably not as wild. Just more structured.

The Coeurlclaw part I'm definitely looking to change somehow. Originally I had thought them to be a basic 'thug group', but with your explanation, I can see they aren't. X3

As for his mothers name, it was not intentional. X3 I will also change that too.

Thank you very much Rathalos! If you have any suggestions for replacements that could equal the Coeurlclaw or the Garleans, please let me know.

Speaking of Garleans, would experiments in general be something they would do? (Not in conjuction with the coeurlclaws, of course.)

Vyce · **12-24-2015, 09:32 AM**

He isn't really an exception to keepers. Keepers are much less integrated than Seekers, who can live their own lives as adults as long as they return to the tribe to breed when it's time. Keeper males tend to be loners walking paths of solitude. They are not regarded highly as Seeker males are, and even breeding males tend to remain out of the spotlight. They are far more rare than Seeker males.

Sounsyy · **12-24-2015, 10:39 AM**

A lot of stuff was answered already, but if you were looking for a resource for Keeper lore still here's a post on race lore that should be helpful. Been busy at work so I haven't gotten to look over your wiki at great length so I'll try to get back with more info later!

Lucius Ignatius · **12-24-2015, 11:31 AM**

Thank you guys for your responses! Big Grin

And I look forward to your critique as well Sounsyy! Whenever you get the chance. I appreciate it! ^^

Another Wiki-Page Constructive Criticism Request

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes