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Gegenji · **11-17-2016, 01:50 PM**

(11-17-2016, 01:47 PM)Ruran Wrote:
(11-17-2016, 01:02 PM)Gegenji Wrote: ... The latter is actually why I hesitate on asking folks for RP. I always feel the onus is on the asker to also provide a scene or situation, and if I'm lacking that then I feel weird asking someone to RP. It seems almost rude, in a "hey let's RP and YOU decide what we're doing" kind of way.

That's exactly true for me, too. If I'm asking for RP, I often feel like it's my obligation to have a purpose or driving force behind it. Otherwise I kinda flounder around, wanting to RP with someone but not having any idea what to do, and so I don't ask.

But Aya's right, flexibility is important, and you have to trust that since the other person wants to RP with you, you can both build a scene together!

Yeah, and I'm trying to work on that... but old habits die hard. Still makes me feel bad when I can't even provide suggestions for a scene, though. Blush

Kilieit · **11-17-2016, 01:55 PM**

I usually fall back on just, like, listing facts about my character...

"He's in Limsa Lominsa a lot"
"He sells fish sometimes"
"He takes battlecraft leves"

Until one of them grabs the person's interest. xD;

Zhavi · **11-17-2016, 01:59 PM**

(11-17-2016, 01:38 PM)Thunderbolt300 Wrote: I'm not disagreeing with you at all there- in fact I totally agree! In my own personal opinion, putting in the time and effort to get out, network in the greater community, connect with other players- it's all excellent for leading into more stuff later. A more connected community is capable of great things. It's like building the foundation for the house. Yes, it's time and labor intensive, but there's a long term payoff there. You have something to build off of.

It's just that not everyone is going to have the time or the desire to invest that heavily into a long term plan, in what is essentially random. While it is not my approach, I can sympathize with the dilemma.

That's a really good point, too. Not everyone likes the same kind of rp (which someone else mentioned above, in a different way). Just because one person isn't into x kind of rp doesn't mean you can't find someone else who is!

Parvacake · **11-17-2016, 02:00 PM**

(11-17-2016, 01:02 PM)Gegenji Wrote: Yeah, and I'm trying to work on that... but old habits die hard. Still makes me feel bad when I can't even provide suggestions for a scene, though.

I get this way, too. It's why I sometimes will bounce around other games or alts. Usually has nothing to do with desire regarding a character or story; I just have no idea how to progress forward so I tend to look towards over creative outputs until I can come back to it or unless someone has an idea.

Brainstorming works as well...butI'mterribleaboutsuggestingit.

***Maril*** · **11-17-2016, 02:13 PM**

(11-17-2016, 01:11 PM)Thunderbolt300 Wrote: It seems to me that in a lot of cases, folk tend to shy away from slice-of-life / tavern-RP where the potential to encounter character development is fairly low, so there's not a lot of incentive to engage in that. Meaningful character develop occurs through conflict, events, and having an antagonist on-hand, and none of these things seem to be greatly plentiful in the community-at-large. At least, events of this nature are kept to silos, aren't advertised well, or are by invite-only. Still, slice-of-life / tavern-RP certainly has its place in the RP ecosystem- but it's filler, it's not the main content.Â

I would not put slice-of-life/bar-rp down to being just a filler, it really depends in what kind of roleplayer you are and what you expect to get out of your roleplay of course - but character meaningful development of your character doesn't exclusively come from dramatic plots and the likes. I find that most characters can get meaningful development from various slice-of-life situations, playing off the traits you've put in the character that aren't just related to battle etc.Â
There's some clichÃ© examples like a cold-butt soldier meeting a person that softens his heart, the interactions between those two people don't have to involve anything other than the daily day in order to have some development that could end up affecting the soldier next time he's in a fight.Â
It *does* mean though, that you have to be willing to follow through and not just leave a tavern encounter to being a tavern encounter. Don't just talk about the weather, get into the juicy bits (over time/several encounters perhaps) - if you say your character is loyal, of a kind heart, or something negative like being intolerant towards lalafells (sorry lalafell!) then test it. Figure out how far that loyalty stretches, just exactly when does the kindness stop, and are all lalafell actually bad or was it just a few. At one point or another it may have some effects on how your character acts in the next plot-arch, going into this endless loop of consequences of consequences.Â

And I would also say that for fresh characters, getting some exposure to tavern RP and events where you take on the social aspect is rather important. I find the grindstone to be a good example of how you have an event where the main focus is on fighting, but have you seen how many spectators it draws in? Personally, it's been a great place for my character to get some exposure, meet some people and establish friendships. It is those connections that are going to and already have dragged her right into plots and dramatic moments, where there's even more development to be had. But on the scale of meaningful, both kinds are just as meaningful. At least for what I am concerned, things have to be in a balance - if I get too much drama, plot and shenanigans I end up disinterested, and vice versa.

Faye · **11-17-2016, 02:37 PM**

(11-17-2016, 12:21 PM)Zhavi Wrote: I think that becomes an issue primarily when you want to rp with a specific person or group that is up to their eyeballs in plans and plots. It's the same thing that happens irl when you're friends with someone who's friends with a lot of people: your window of opportunity with them is incredibly small. So you either roll in with them (oh you're doing x on y day? I was thinking of going to that too, what would you think about going together? -- but also give them an easy out, since you don't want to make them feel like you're pressuring them) or you make plans far in the future and then give them a reason to seek you out.

But I mean, I do what I've always done, from Zhi to new characters: play with new players. Sometimes they'll bail, yes, but they're fresh and usually eager to rp. Go to places where people hang out like wallflowers and peel one of them off the wall. Go to mixer events where there is inevitably one or two people who showed alone or with a group and is having a hard time interacting with so many people.

It's the same problem as ever. Make your opportunities. Anyone can sit around saying "no one wants to hang out with me," but that's just the thing -- if you're just sitting there like a rock without a plan or set of ideas that sparks someone else's creativity, why would they want to hang out with you? Be proactive. If you're shy, you're gonna have to dip your toe in somewhere -- approach a FC or LS leader and let them know your circumstances and see if they have suggestions of members who might fit you. But at the end of the day, it's still the same ol' problem, just with a different window dressing.

This, basically. If you want to RP with someone who is often busy and stretched thin with their RP, it's going to be difficult to find time to align your schedules. I don't think any of this is an issue, really. You've just got to make your RP appealing and take the initiative to RP with others and create interesting opportunities to entice them into role-playing with you. With as many people we have in our figurative "RP market" here, you've got to make your "product" (aka your role-play) stand out compared to the rest. Give people a reason to RP with you rather than one of the other dozen people looking for RP at that moment.

Aside from that, I think people just need to stop painting the server's entire RP community in one stroke whenever an individual fails to respond to them, or says they're busy or don't want to RP, etc. Of course you'll run into people like that. You can't expect every person to be available to you all the time, and you sadly can't expect every person to be friendly and receptive to your RP (yes, even the people who for whatever have "walk-ups welcome" in their search info and then angrily rebuke every walk-up). These things happening isn't indicative of some culture plague on the server, it's just life and people being people. We don't need to sensationalize everything. I think the negativity, assumptions, and ultimately self-centered attitude of entitlement that everyone owes you RP that it can breed are more of an obstacle in finding enjoyable role-play on the server than anything else could ever be.

Zhavi · **11-17-2016, 02:46 PM**

(11-17-2016, 02:37 PM)Faye Wrote: Aside from that, I think people just need to stop painting the server's entire RP community in one stroke whenever an individual fails to respond to them, or says they're busy or don't want to RP, etc. Of course you'll run into people like that. You can't expect every person to be available to you all the time, and you sadly can't expect every person to be friendly and receptive to your RP (yes, even the people who for whatever have "walk-ups welcome" in their search info and then angrily rebuke every walk-up). These things happening isn't indicative of some culture plague on the server, it's just life and people being people. We don't need to sensationalize everything. I think the negativity, assumptions, and ultimately self-centered attitude of entitlement that everyone owes you RP that it can breed are more of an obstacle in finding enjoyable role-play server than anything else could ever be.

Yup. On another character, I joined a FC. Big thing, busy, people chatting every which way. Too busy. Too big for me. RP was popping, but I tend to be more comfortable with small groups. As soon as I realized this, I apologized and left, and sought out a smaller FC. One where the members were hurting for rp, because they were still trying to find their stride. JACKPOT, BABY.

And now I have all the slice of life rp I could ever want, with some plot mixed in, and opportunities to grow the complexity organically and at my pace.

Bottom line? If you're not able to fit with one group of people, try another. Yeah, sure, that one person or group might seem just perfect, but no one is irreplaceable. There are lots of sparkling writers out there -- don't be fooled if they don't have a big presence on the rpc, or reddit, or tumblr, or in game. Take a chance. You might just be rewarded.

ExAtomos · **11-17-2016, 02:48 PM**

We're at an all-you-can-eat RP buffet and can pick and choose who we want to rp with, when, and about what. This can have the apparent effect of shutting many others out.

In my experience, I've found that it's always feast or famine. I'm either over-booked or it feels like an rp desert. T_T lol. And of course, when I am free and want to rp with people, they are offline or busy or wanting to just grind content instead. XD

I like rp events cause I can have a casual (or less than casual) conversation with someone while having something to interact with (wait staff, menu, drinking, etc). For me at least, this relieves a lot of the stress that just one on one rp can bring.

Similar to Kilieit, I have a chronic illness. In my case, I actually can't plan rp as well cause I never know if I'll be well enough to run a scene with people. Events, like I mentioned, help ease some of the work load, so I can talk as much or as little as I'm able to.

I am also not keen on the vague question of "Anyone wanna RP?" For all I know, you're an amal'jaa airship pirate and I may not need amal'jaa, airships, or piracy in my characters' lives right then. Or more to the point, I don't want to sit with a person who asks this and then expects me to entertain them for a couple hours without any commonality I can use. :/

***Teadrinker*** · **11-17-2016, 03:10 PM**

I think it's just a problem with the mindset of some individuals.

I wanna point out something OP said.

"Why am I not getting as much RP as I should?"

I don't think OP meant this in reference to themselves but that they have heard other people say it LOT and I'm inclined to agree, I've heard it a lot too. But I have never heard it from a person who puts themselves out there and makes efforts to meet people ICly and OOCly.

I tend to hear this from someone who wallflowers a lot, watches other people, says nothing, really makes no efforts to meet anyone and then wonders why people aren't just flocking to their character to spark RP. I don't think it really involves too many events or FC's on the server or anything like that. In fact, since there ARE so many if you put yourself out there and poke others then you should have no issue finding RP, right?

Something else I tend to see is people who make these really mean, broody characters that essentially just grunt at their walkups and then the player acts disappointed when the character wanders off because Alucard the Death Lizard keeps acting like they want to eat them. Their characters don't know yours or have any investment I doubt it makes sense for their character to sit around and get huffed at.

Other times the player just might not have created a very interesting character. Yes, I said it. It takes a bit of experience and finesse to craft a character that falls in the right spot between too typical and special snowflake but if you're starting from scratch and looking for connections then you're going to want to make that effort and falling on either side of that spectrum is NOT advisable.

At the end of the day, I don't think the question should be

"Why am I not getting as much RP as I should?"

and ought to be

"What can I do to generate more RP for myself?"

On a side note though, if you're in an RP FC and you keep trying to spark and start up RP and it never happens then it's time to shop around. This post isn't pointed at that.

Aya · **11-17-2016, 03:34 PM**

(11-17-2016, 02:13 PM)Maril Wrote: And I would also say that for fresh characters, getting some exposure to tavern RP and events where you take on the social aspect is rather important.

I would re-iterate everything that Maril said, insightful and well said!

To put it another way: you shouldn't limit yourself to thinking that "only some kind of encounters can provide character development", or (although it was not stated) that character growth is the only kind of development that can occur.

Sometimes, in RP just as in reality, we find the most unlikely, trivial, or random chance encounters can be the most important. That random conversation that gives you a different way of looking at things, that new friend it turns out is going to introduce you to a whole new world. Just like in reality, you never know what is going to happen when you introduce yourself to someone new, which is what makes it so simultaneously exciting and intimidating.

Casual RP is also the very best way to learn about your own character, and to lend them definition. Its where you learn how they interact with people and react to every-day occurrences. That's not going to be necessary, or fun, for everyone, but it has its own immense value in creating, crafting, and fine-tuning the character's persona.

I'm still going to ask, "would anyone like to RP?" because, durnit, sometimes someone does, and that always makes me happy (and leads to RP fun). More often than not its just crickets, but that's life.

Alderique · **11-17-2016, 04:06 PM**

I have often found myself in situations where my potential RP partners are all at events, whether the same event or different events. I'm not into events as frequently anymore, and it seems like there's one almost every night, many of them recurring and pulling a large audience. Many of them also occupy a large chunk of time and encourage people to stay the entire time.

It's not keeping me from RP overall, because I can make time with close RP partners to do what we want to do, but I do frequently find myself in "Hey X, you wanna do that scene we were talkin about?" "I'm at the event."

I do enjoy events from time to time. I'm a member of Crescent, and I go to all of our main events if I'm available, but I don't routinely make it to other server events. At the end of the day there are always people to RP with if you really try, just have to compete for a spot sometimes.

Syranelle Ironleaf · **11-17-2016, 04:36 PM**

The biggest "enemy" of busy people is time itself. Â We all play this game to have fun and decompress from spending the day in Real Life. Â Sometimes we log on to RP, other times we just want to PVE or craft, just have some time to ourselves to rest and recharge without having to put in a whole lot of social time. Â Most people have jobs or school or families that need them, so that means they have a limited number of hours to play in a given session. Â That oftentimes means that they book that time in advance to do things."

I'm going to do stuff for my Anima on Tuesday after the reset.
Oh, I have that RP event on X-day that I've been wanting to go to.
I'd like to get my X-craft to 60 so I can make XYZ-thing.

All of these take time, some more than others; roleplay takes up more time than anything else, since sessions can go from just one hour to omgwhatamistilldoinghere marathon sessions. Â It's also why people tend to be hesitant to "overbook" themselves, as it were. Â

I usually think of it in these terms: Â Prime Time RP hours are between 6pm Eastern and midnight. Â An 'average' RP session (for me, at least) is two hours, therefore, I never ask for or expect RP after 10pm, because that would go over my idealized 'operating hours' for roleplay.

If someone says no or says they're otherwise engaged, people shouldn't take that to mean "I never want to do anything with you, ever," which is half the problem. Â The other half of the problem is that people don't make an effort to connect, even when their answer is no.

How to combat the "Dreaded No's"

If you are the one being asked: Â Don't just say "no" when someone inquires, say something more along the lines of, "I'm currently occupied with XYZ at the moment, but if you'd like to RP <insert next available time-slot> then I'd be more than happy to!" Â

As someone who gets asked a lot, I keep a personal calendar of RP invitations I'm given and I schedule things accordingly. Â I also make sure to keepÂ appointments that I make. Â Nothing puts people off more than cancellations, because they're basically blocking off some of that precious time commodity specifically for you. Â

EspeciallyÂ make it a point to reschedule if you know for sure you're going to miss a session. Â Don't neglect to tell someone you aren't going to be around (even if you just leave a note by Moogle Mail, by PM, or word-of-mouth through friends) -- barring Real Life emergencies, of course. Â Scheduling a session, then failing to show up without an explanation basically shows your potential partner that their time is not important to you, which makes them less inclined to be so generous with it later.

If you are the one asking: Â If the answer is "no" then ask for a different day/time to do the thing you want to do. Â "Oh, okay, if you're busy tonight, how about we do XYZ on <insert next available time-slot>?" Â

Have a plan. Â If you're the one asking, you should have something in mind for the scene. Â "Slice-of-life" let's sit around and idle-chat is all well and good, but it gets stale pretty quickly if that's all you ever have to offer. Â A plan doesn't have to be elaborate, it just has to be something different and engaging.

Don't get discouraged. Â Just because the answer is "no" today doesn't mean that it will be the same tomorrow. Â Even if the answer is no seven times in a row, there will come a time that the answer will be yes. Â

Diversify! Â If you find that the answer is no a lot within your present circle of friends, try branching out and going to events, meeting new people, and diversifying your circle some. Â

Time is a finite resource for everyone and we have to share that, respect it, and take care of it. Â Not just on our own end, but for everyone in our circle that we're involved with.

Eses Fafa · **11-17-2016, 04:57 PM**

Honestly, I have to disagree. These events as a whole are no more than filler. It's usually tavern events, concerts, tournaments and the like which everyone will have seen a dozen times over if they go that often.

Now if there's an FC event going on or there's a genuinely interesting event occurring which advances story, you're buggered, but often times, these kinds of refusal are often just signs they're just not interested.

I know this because I've done it several times to someone else who was somehow more eager for RP than I was..and that's rare considering I play on four different MMOs just for RP.
A lot of the time, people come out of the floorboards to enter roleplay if you're already in one, or they're aware that something more than idle chit-chat will be going on. My advice is to get someone who's at least almost universally liked and willing and initiate an RP with them. Stuff just sorta ramps up from there.

Faye · **11-17-2016, 05:19 PM**

(11-17-2016, 04:57 PM)Eses Fafa Wrote: Now if there's an FC event going on or there's a genuinely interesting event occurring which advances story, you're buggered, but often times, these kinds of refusal are often just signs they're just not interested.

I don't really think that's fair to say, just because you've done it before and we all might have used it as an excuse once or twice. You may feel most events are just filler, but others genuinely do enjoy them or sometimes want to show up and stick around just to support the community and/or the host. Your feelings aren't universal. Syranelle really put it well. MMO's are intentional time sinks and that's not even considering how much real life and other hobbies might eat up our time and energy. A lot of us make plans in advance, be it "last week my friend asked me to RP tonight" or "I planned to hit 60 today" or "I really wanna check out that event I saw on the RPC last night."

Now typically, if I'm at an event and someone wants to role-play, or if I'm already in a role-play that's open, I will say "I'm already doing ____, but you can come join me." I'm not always going to drop whatever I'm already doing for someone, but if it's something they can join me in, the more the merrier. If the response someone is giving doesn't have the invitation to join them tacked on, it could mean they are politely declining RPing with you in general, or it could just mean that the event/RP is closed/private or even just that the person doesn't have the best social graces and didn't think at the time to invite you. I don't think it's fair to yourself to assume every rejection means "I don't want to RP with you ever" because that's being overly harsh on yourself and how you think others see you (and ultimately just denying yourself opportunities), and I don't think it's fair to others to presume they have ulterior motives or dislike you when they may just be genuinely busy.

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