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Xydane · **09-25-2015, 12:33 AM**

Last night, a guild mate of a friend of mine in World of Warcraft committed suicide. Though I did not know the player personally, my buddy and his guild feel absolutely devastated. From what they know, the player committed suicide in his/her own home shortly after logging off World of Warcraft.

This is something constantly preached in my workplace and organization and I will continue to do my duty to remind everyone as well. I always preach family in every community and organization whether it's a guild in a video game or at a work place and it is up to us to look out for one another.

If you know someone going through issues, be their light and drag them out of the darkness! Talk to them, listen, and get help! If you are someone going through troubles, please do not hesitate to seek someone out! Forget your pride! Suicide is not worth it and will only leave family and friends broken. It is a very selfish act - a permanent solution to a temporary problem. The world is MASSIVE and is waiting for you to go out there to live out your best! Go travel, hike up a mountain, try new food, discover new hobbies, etc!

For whomever this goes out to: Be strong. Always remember that there are other people in the world who are in a much worse situation. Do not be afraid to seek aid and help - for it doesn't show weakness but STRENGTH OF CHARACTER.

The U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1 (800) 273-8255
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
https://www.afsp.org/
www.sprc.org/
https://www.iasp.info/
https://ifightdepression.com/en/

Faye · **09-25-2015, 01:25 AM**

That's sad to hear. Sad

Thank you for posting this. This is really important. I don't want to nitpick something with such good intentions, but I'd really advise against calling it selfish, however.

Gharen · **09-25-2015, 02:13 AM**

((This is not meant to be chastising or cruel in any way, shape, or form so please do not take it as such.))

I'm sorry to hear about your loss Xydane.

As someone diagnosed with depression and who has contemplated suicide, I would as well advise against calling it an act of selfishness, or anything else for that matter. The mind of someone with depression is chemically imbalanced, they see themselves and problems in a vastly different way than the average person does. The problems someone with depression faces can be many and varied, and never quite so simple as you say to overcome.

Take a look at http://www.depressioncomix.com/ if you'd like a little insight into how someone with depression views themselves and the world around them.

Oscarlet Oirellain · **09-25-2015, 08:29 AM**

That's so sad. If anyone here has thoughts like this, please post about it rather than doing it! Sad

Melodia · **09-25-2015, 08:50 AM**

*Hugs*

I myself struggle heavily with depressive thoughts quite often and it breaks my heart to hear about your friend. My best friend from the Army committed suicide as well....without warning. As I said I have issues of my own. Often my temper tantrums here are an extension of that. There are many days when even the amount of positives in my world don't...can't sway those down emotions. And it's easier to lash out....to hide away in the game and isolate myself.

When I am angry here....or in game...people may think I am stewing....broiling in anger. But the truth is, I am sad...and feel much like a turtle retreating into its shell, though usually there are tears associated with it. When I don't answer a tell, people may think I am being snobby or rude....but the fact is, I see the tell plainly and I am terrified to answer it because I am afraid I'll be told off or rejected....my biggest issue really, the latter.

And yes....there have been times I have spoken the words, "I don't want to be around anymore....just make it all go away..." Sad

Â I'm sorry for the sudden soapbox....I play this therapist and most of the time I am a lonely depressed person. Yes....even with a family I am. I wear a good mask at home as I don't want my son to see how sad his father is.

I don't know why I wrote all of that....but I sympathize...I get it. I really do.

Aaron · **09-25-2015, 09:30 AM**

My take on suicide will probably piss some people off (or not, who knows?)

But for the sake of this thread i'll just say im sorry for your loss. I'd feel devastated too if one of my friends be it here or irl committed suicide.

mongi291 · **09-25-2015, 09:34 AM**

Today I was late for school because a guy tried to commit suicide in the subway.
I don't know if I should be sorry or pissed off.

Vyce · **09-25-2015, 09:53 AM**

(09-25-2015, 01:25 AM)Faye Wrote: That's sad to hear. Thank you for posting this. This is really important. I don't want to nitpick something with such good intentions, but I'd really advise against calling it selfish, however.

Except that it is selfish.

People don't commit suicide because they want to die, they do it because they can't find a reason not to. They have reached a point internally where not friends, family, mentors, peers, dreams, nor the fear of death seems worth continuing to exist. It is an unfortunate instance of supreme human weakness.

The thing that these hotlines do is not try to convince you not to do it, they help you to reflect on what people and things exist in your life that are worth being around for. A hotline is going to help you figure out, okay are you really alone? What if there is just one person who would be hurt more by you being gone than you think? What if there are ways to make holding on a little longer a bit more bearable? Ultimately, these hotlines save thousands of lives just by being there to listen and to talk. They're important.

Martiallais · **09-25-2015, 10:25 AM**

In the spirit of the thread/topic can we all agree that this is something serious and while it should be talked about, it may not be the place to debate whether it is or isn't selfish. I'd maybe recommend such things be shifted to PMs as it's an intensely personal matter to a LOT of people and there are bound to be feelings on it that (more than likely given past history here) will turn the thread into a wreck waiting for a mod to show up with a fire extinguisher.

Rhiannon · **09-25-2015, 10:33 AM**

(09-25-2015, 10:25 AM)Martiallais Wrote: In the spirit of the thread/topic can we all agree that this is something serious and while it should be talked about, it may not be the place to debate whether it is or isn't selfish. I'd maybe recommend such things be shifted to PMs as it's an intensely personal matter to a LOT of people and there are bound to be feelings on it that (more than likely given past history here) will turn the thread into a wreck waiting for a mod to show up with a fire extinguisher.

I agree.Â

It is always hard to hear of someone taking their own life. I am deeply sorry for your loss. My grandfather committed suicide and over the years I have often had to find reasons to keep going. Know that our thoughts and prayers (or equivalent if you're not religious) are with you and the family and friends.Â Heart

Duplicitous Dame · **09-25-2015, 10:47 AM**

(09-25-2015, 10:25 AM)Martiallais Wrote: In the spirit of the thread/topic can we all agree that this is something serious and while it should be talked about, it may not be the place to debate whether it is or isn't selfish. I'd maybe recommend such things be shifted to PMs as it's an intensely personal matter to a LOT of people and there are bound to be feelings on it that (more than likely given past history here) will turn the thread into a wreck waiting for a mod to show up with a fire extinguisher.

I have to echo this. While I do not agree with the word "selfish" being used, I do believe discussion of that particular sentiment should be kept to private messages. This is a subject that can get real ugly, real quick, and is something very much personal. I would hate to see this thread derailed and summarily locked when a good intent is trying to be had here. However, back on subject, my condolences to you and yours, Xydane. Losing someone, whether you were close to them or not, is never easy. I hope those who are experiencing grief at the moment are able to find comfort in those around them. I'll be sending good thoughts and energy their way.

Faye · **09-25-2015, 02:54 PM**

(09-25-2015, 09:53 AM)Vyce Wrote:
(09-25-2015, 01:25 AM)Faye Wrote: That's sad to hear. Thank you for posting this. This is really important. I don't want to nitpick something with such good intentions, but I'd really advise against calling it selfish, however.

Except that it is selfish.

People don't commit suicide because they want to die, they do it because they can't find a reason not to. They have reached a point internally where not friends, family, mentors, peers, dreams, nor the fear of death seems worth continuing to exist. It is an unfortunate instance of supreme human weakness.

I'm not debating the word "selfish" to imply that suicide is a good idea, nor to romanticize or glorify it. I'm also not saying depression doesn't irreparably hurt everyone around you. However, depression and other mental illnesses alter your mental state, your outlook on life, and your view of yourself. I can tell you from firsthand experience that those who are suicidal often feel like a burden or nuisance to those around them. They feel like living is selfish and while, sure, everyone will be sad that they've died, they'll get over it and feel happier in the end.

The point is that those who are suicidal already feel selfish and horrible about themselves. For most people who are suicidal, there are multiple attempts done, and they spend a long amount of time contemplating it. There's no way of telling who here on these forums has attempted suicide, or thought about it, or will think about it. Putting them on blast for being "selfish" is not a good way to encourage them to seek help. At that point they need love and support, not criticism and insults. Depression is a battle you fight every day of your your life. That's an act of bravery, not weakness. You don't call someone "selfish" when they die of cancer, and depression is every bit as real a disease.

That's all I'll say on this matter, because I really don't want to derail from this thread and take away from its meaningful purpose. Please just rethink your words and your views.

C'kayah Polaali · **09-25-2015, 02:59 PM**

I agree wholeheartedly with Gharen and Faye, which is all I'll say on that subject.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's guildy. That's a terrible tragedy. Thank you for posting this.

Vyce · **09-25-2015, 03:56 PM**

Okay, in the event that it will help someone somewhere, I'll share:

My views are unchanged as a person whoÂ has fought major depression alone, but I respect your feelings.

As I said, these hotlines are pretty amazing things. The most powerful medicine is talking about it. When you can have a conversation about it with someone who knows exactly what you're talking about and isn't humoring you or trying to throw sunshine and rainbows in your face, its so much easier to wrap your mind around what is going on. When you realize, "this isn't normal...and other people feel like me", you can start to either seek help or fight it yourself. I did not have access to the help. I fought on my own and then became the person my friends can talk to because I know what its like to have no one. But even then, I don't pity people who give up. It makes me angry.

One of the best habits I built for myself makes me look like a crazy person, but it does the job. When the emptiness, regret, and hopelessness start to haunt me, and my mind starts going over all the ways I've messed up,

I say, "Stop it." out loud. I command my mind to abandon those ideas. "Stop it stop it stop it." I'll whisper it in public. If I'm in my bed I'll say it at a speaking tone. The craziest part isn't how it looks but that is actually works.

Alania Kord · **09-25-2015, 04:44 PM**

(09-25-2015, 02:13 AM)Gharen Wrote: As someone diagnosed with depression and who has contemplated suicide, I would as well advise against calling it an act of selfishness, or anything else for that matter. The mind of someone with depression is chemically imbalanced, they see themselves and problems in a vastly different way than the average person does. The problems someone with depression faces can be many and varied, and never quite so simple as you say to overcome.

As someone also diagnosed with depression and anxiety, used to be a VERY avid cutter and still struggle with thoughts such as, "I wonder what it would be like to just roll my car into a ditch right now?" Suicide is the most selfish thing a person could possibly do with their life. Sure, you may no longer be suffering, but how many people would be devastated about your death, how many lives would you affect, how many people would hate themselves because they felt like they failed you. Someone with depression may think they are all alone in this world, but asking myself these questions has kept me here through the worst times of my life, including being raped twice and being homeless for a while.

To those thinking things will never get better for you, I have been at the bottom of the pit, it isn't an easy climb, but you can make it if you realize that there are people that truly care about you. Now I have an amazing husband and two adorable children to think about whenever I get these thoughts, it's still hard at times but they are my light. Things DO get better!!

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RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes