RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes

DimmerMeerkat · **08-10-2013, 07:45 PM**

Hello~

So, I know I'm relatively new here and it might be in poor taste to ask for help from strangers, but I need help!

I am a transgendered man--meaning that I was born as a female but identify as a male. I first began presenting as a male in early 2009. Before that, I gave very little thought to my gender, aside from the times my family complained that I "dress like a boy" and should wear makeup and dress more feminine. At a young age, in fact, I protested when my family would call me "pretty," and in to my teens I loathed myself every time I tried to defy my own natural, comfortable aesthetic to please my parents and extended family with hyper-femininity.

You may have heard me in mumble if you've ever been in the Intermission mumble, and might note that I sound like any other regular guy. This is because I began the hormone replacement stage of my transition a year ago, tomorrow. This has caused my voice to drop, and has stimulated facial hair growth, also affecting my muscle growth and fat distribution. It's amazing, encouraging process. For the most part, I pass as a male in public--but only when dressed in a way that disguises my chest.

Top surgery is a hurdle. It is a very important step for me, and the only one that I feel I need right now. Not having top surgery has caused numerous issues for me. I use binders to try to flatten my chest, but because I have a cupsize somewhere between a high-C and a low-D, it is virtually impossible to flatten myself enough to appear to have a masculine chest. My binders are tight. I have been wearing them daily with some weekend exceptions for 4 years now, and I'm starting to develop back problems and shoulder aches. I am also sometimes short of breath. Binders are also an expense I have to splurge on regularly since they get stretched out and become even less effective over time. They also cause hygiene issues for me. As you can imagine, squashing your flesh against itself regularly is not good. I have experienced chafing, rashing, and acne. When trying to treat the acne, I've suffered painful dryness and scratchiness. It's hurting my skin overall. Since the only effective material is pretty rough, it also scratches and irritates the flesh on my back, and sometimes rolls and painfully pinches my hips.

I was quoted $6,500 for doctor's fees, $2,000 - $4,000 for the operating room and anesthesia, and $500 for an overnight stay, which one can't really say is necessary or unnecessary until after the surgery, really. That's a total of $11,000. I set my fundraiser to $12,000 to cover the portion of funds that IndieGogo takes at the end of the 2-month drive.

I have a decently paying entry-level job, but it's not the best. Catching up on missed bills and trying to fix my abysmal credit has made it impossible for me to put away money. At one point I was able to save $500, but had to tap in to it to catch up on bills later. I was only able to make that because I was working 60+ hours a week for a few weeks.

If I don't make the goal, I will take what I've made and put it away in a new account in a different bank where I can't dig in to it in the event of a financial crisis. This is exclusively for my chest surgery, and nothing else. If I make the goal and the surgery is cheaper than anticipated, or I made more than my target goal, I will redistribute the extra money to similar fundraisers, and will not pocket any of it.

My surgery will happen in Illinois. I will cover the expense of a hotel and travel costs on my own. I am very familiar with the area and know how to keep that affordable.

There are incentives for donating, ranging from asking questions, to art, to sculpey figurines, to videos and websites. They cost more than a normal commission price because they are not necessarily commissions. They're just rewards for being so generous. I am still a ways away from actually starting a side business doing commissions. I'll probably start that in October or November.

If you cannot donate, putting the word out there for me would help me immensely. The more people know about the fundraiser, the more likely it is I'll receive donations. This is to help me pass, and ultimately, to help me feel right in my own skin, which would vastly improve my quality of life and self-confidence.

Thank you for reading this thread, and thank you in advance to those of you who intend to help out however you are able with incredible respect for your own personal needs and priorities, both financially and time-related.

Click here to see the fundraiser!

[Image: t5xk.jpg]

Salty Lake · **08-10-2013, 09:41 PM**

Some of my friends have had top surgery and been very happy afterwards. Â Best of luck to you!

Aysun · **08-10-2013, 09:53 PM**

I guess my biggest question, being a healtcare professional.. Does your insurance not help at all with this sort of surgery because it's "optional"?

halceeuhn · **08-10-2013, 09:54 PM**

All the support in the world!

*Brofist*

DimmerMeerkat · **08-10-2013, 09:56 PM**

(08-10-2013, 09:53 PM)Aysun Wrote: I guess my biggest question, being a healtcare professional.. Does your insurance not help at all with this sort of surgery because it's "optional"?

They consider it "cosmetic" still. There are some insurance plans that are starting to cover it, but only for certain plans. I have Aetna through my employer, but Aetna only covers transitional surgery if you're a college student on their high-premium student plan. x.x

Aysun · **08-10-2013, 09:58 PM**

Laaaaaame. Sad

Best of luck!

Domri Blackblade · **08-10-2013, 10:00 PM**

You are very handsome! Like I said in Skype, I'll be sure to contribute in any way I can.

AetherBaby · **08-10-2013, 10:05 PM**

Hi Nik ^_^Â

One of my best friends in the whole world is also a trans man who had top surgery last year, I went ahead and bookmarked your fundraiser's site and I'm going to ask him about which forums we could post a link to to get the word out for you a little.

I am currently unable to offer moneyÂ contributions, but will try in the future! Good luck with everything! Thumbsup

Â

Â

synaesthetic · **08-10-2013, 10:14 PM**

I didn't even know it was legal to use crowdfunding like this without a product or service to deliver.Â Dodgy

Now I feel like I should do something like this... because short of winning the lottery it's probably never going to happen and I'm just going to be miserable for my entire life.Â Sad

Doubtful even something like this will work, though. It's just so expensive... and trans people are terminally unemployable and totally fucked.

DimmerMeerkat · **08-10-2013, 10:16 PM**

(08-10-2013, 10:05 PM)AetherBaby Wrote: Hi Nik ^_^Â

One of my best friends in the whole world is also a trans man who had top surgery last year, I went ahead and bookmarked your fundraiser's site and I'm going to ask him about which forums we could post a link to to get the word out for you a little.

I am currently unable to offer moneyÂ contributions, but will try in the future! Good luck with everything! Â Â

That'd be awesome! Thanks so much. Stay in touch. Big Grin

Aysun · **08-10-2013, 10:18 PM**

(08-10-2013, 10:14 PM)synaesthetic Wrote: Doubtful even something like this will work, though. It's just so expensive... and trans people are terminally unemployable and totally fucked.

Why are they terminally unemployable? Sad

I'm sorry I have very little exposure to these things.

DimmerMeerkat · **08-10-2013, 10:20 PM**

(08-10-2013, 10:14 PM)synaesthetic Wrote: I didn't even know it was legal to use crowdfunding like this without a product or service to deliver.Â

Now I feel like I should do something like this... because short of winning the lottery it's probably never going to happen and I'm just going to be miserable for my entire life.Â

Doubtful even something like this will work, though. It's just so expensive... and trans people are terminally unemployable and totally fucked.

Aw, don't sell it short! I've been keeping my eye on indiegogo for a while, and watching the various trans-related fundraisers. Some have fallen abysmally short, but others have been ridiculously successful. I was watching the January Rising fundraiser as it was going on. I dunno what she did to get the word out there other than having really resourceful friends, but I saw her fund shoot up from 5k to 15k in a matter of weeks. It was awesome.

Naunet · **08-10-2013, 10:23 PM**

(08-10-2013, 10:18 PM)Aysun Wrote: Why are they terminally unemployable? I'm sorry I have very little exposure to these things.

When you identify as one gender but your body presents as another - and your official records do as well (it's /really/ expensive and difficult to get an official name change) - it gives people all kinds of reasons to hate you and, consequentially, not employ you. It's a huge problem. In most states, trans people still aren't even covered under non-discrimination clauses either.

DimmerMeerkat · **08-10-2013, 10:24 PM**

(08-10-2013, 10:18 PM)Aysun Wrote:
(08-10-2013, 10:14 PM)synaesthetic Wrote: Doubtful even something like this will work, though. It's just so expensive... and trans people are terminally unemployable and totally fucked.

Why are they terminally unemployable? I'm sorry I have very little exposure to these things.

A lot of trans people have a really hard time finding employment. Only 17 states legally protect gender identity from workplace/hiring discrimination. Even in the states that do protect you, there's a hiring bias that some employers aren't hesitant to exercise and blame on other factors. It's impossible to prove they were discriminating based on gender identity in most cases, it seems.

If you're mid-transition, it can be really awkward. For instance, I am looking for a different job now and am running in to the legal snag. I am still legally female (in my state, you have to have some surgery to change your identification, with few exceptions), but I outwardly appear and sound like a male... except for my chest. >.> Can't ninja my way under the radar, nor can anyone really who hasn't transitioned legally and physically in a convincing manner.

synaesthetic · **08-10-2013, 10:26 PM**

Yeah I doubt I'd be that lucky. For one, I'm nowhere near as attractive as she is, and if you think that didn't help her then I've got some oceanfront property on Mars to sell you at a reasonable price. Secondly, the number of friends I have can be counted on one hand.

Not really much chance of that ever happening. I've pretty much just resigned myself to being stuck like this forever. When you're poor, you have no power, no agency, no control over your life.

« Next Oldest \| Next Newest »
Pages (4): 1 2 3 4 Next »

Transgender FtM Top Surgery Fundraiser

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes